Can my kids father leave for basic training without my knowledge and not include me in his family plan?

[Stephen1]

I was reading an item from the Reserve Officers Association that I believe deals with a similar situation. The military member had custody of the child and due to being deployed arranged for the grandparents to take care of the child. ROA said: "The court gave you custody of the boy, but the court did not and cannot delegate to you the authority to determine an alternative custodial arrangement if for any reason you will not be able to exercise custody of the child for an extended period. You simply do not have the legal power or right to turn the child over to your parents upon your deployment." It sounds like this is exactly what the father did in your case.
https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.roa.org/resource/resmgr/LawReviews/2009/09051-LR.pdf

 

[Ohiogal]

Did any of you look at Alabama law? That would have solved this:
§ 30-3-9. Effect of military deployment of parent on child custody determinations

(a)

A military deployment, including past, previous, or future deployments, may not be considered by the court as the sole factor when making an original child custody determination, or in modifying an existing child custody determination, in any proceeding involving any person who has sought, or is seeking, custodial rights to, or visitation rights with, a child.

(b)	Any order granting a continuance or stay of a child custody case granted pursuant to the Federal Servicemembers Civil Relief Act, 50 App. U.S.C. Sections 501 to 596, inclusive, may include a pendente lite custody determination order.

(c)	Nothing in this section shall be construed so as to limit or expand the legal rights of any person under any existing law.

 

[Ohiogal]

I was reading an item from the Reserve Officers Association that I believe deals with a similar situation. The military member had custody of the child and due to being deployed arranged for the grandparents to take care of the child. ROA said: "The court gave you custody of the boy, but the court did not and cannot delegate to you the authority to determine an alternative custodial arrangement if for any reason you will not be able to exercise custody of the child for an extended period. You simply do not have the legal power or right to turn the child over to your parents upon your deployment." It sounds like this is exactly what the father did in your case.
https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.roa.org/resource/resmgr/LawReviews/2009/09051-LR.pdf

The child is in the same home with a stepparent. Also attending the same school. Mother should still get her same time.

 

[atms256]

What happened at the school?

They told me that there was nothing I can do. Since father has sole physical custody I am not allowed to make changes. smh Also girlfriend has removed me from all pick up lists (car rider/bus stop). Our court order isnt specific on the days I get my kids and if they go by the non custodial visitation list only weekday is listed is Thursday and even still it doesn't say I can pick them up from school. So yeah hopefully they grant me with an emergency hearing

 

[Zigner]

They told me that there was nothing I can do. Since father has sole physical custody I am not allowed to make changes. smh Also girlfriend has removed me from all pick up lists (car rider/bus stop). Our court order isnt specific on the days I get my kids and if they go by the non custodial visitation list only weekday is listed is Thursday and even still it doesn't say I can pick them up from school. So yeah hopefully they grant me with an emergency hearing

@Ohiogal can likely make recommendations on how to approach the school (since they're breaking federal law on this matter). I still don't believe that this qualifies as an "emergency", but I will concede that I don't know the specific procedures at your court.

 

[Just Blue]

They told me that there was nothing I can do. Since father has sole physical custody I am not allowed to make changes. smh Also girlfriend has removed me from all pick up lists (car rider/bus stop). Our court order isnt specific on the days I get my kids and if they go by the non custodial visitation list only weekday is listed is Thursday and even still it doesn't say I can pick them up from school. So yeah hopefully they grant me with an emergency hearing

What does you court order state, word for word (sans names), legal custody (decision making)?

 

[livinmybestlife]

They told me that there was nothing I can do. Since father has sole physical custody I am not allowed to make changes. smh Also girlfriend has removed me from all pick up lists (car rider/bus stop). Our court order isnt specific on the days I get my kids and if they go by the non custodial visitation list only weekday is listed is Thursday and even still it doesn't say I can pick them up from school. So yeah hopefully they grant me with an emergency hearing

Is she the girlfriend or the wife?

 

[atms256]

What does you court order state, word for word (sans names), legal custody (decision making)?

The parties are awarded Joint Legal custody of minor child, and father is awarded sole physical custody of the minor child as defined in 30-3-151(4) code of alabama (1975)
ORDERED,ADJEDGED, and DECREED that the provision for child custody in this Order constitutes a "Custidy determination" under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, Section 30-3B-101.
Mother is awarded visitation with minor child as agreed by the parties. If the parties cannot agree the mother is awarded visitation as is set out in the Madison County Standard Visitation Schedule. Mother shall pick up the minor children after school.

 

[Zigner]

Is she the girlfriend or the wife?

OP states that she has been told the woman is his wife.

 

[Just Blue]

The parties are awarded Joint Legal custody of minor child, and father is awarded sole physical custody of the minor child as defined in 30-3-151(4) code of alabama (1975)
ORDERED,ADJEDGED, and DECREED that the provision for child custody in this Order constitutes a "Custidy determination" under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, Section 30-3B-101.
Mother is awarded visitation with minor child as agreed by the parties. If the parties cannot agree the mother is awarded visitation as is set out in the Madison County Standard Visitation Schedule. Mother shall pick up the minor children after school.

Why was Dad given sole custody?

 

[Just Blue]

OP states that she has been told the woman is his wife.

Yet OP keep referring to the wife as the girlfriend.

 

[atms256]

Why was Dad given sole custody?

So that we both got equal time with the kids and that Dad could registrar kids in his school district since he had no custodial rights

 

[atms256]

Yet OP keep referring to the wife as the girlfriend.

Yes they got married before he left

 

[Zigner]

Yes they got married before he left

So why refer to her as the girlfriend?

 

[LdiJ]

The parties are awarded Joint Legal custody of minor child, and father is awarded sole physical custody of the minor child as defined in 30-3-151(4) code of alabama (1975)
ORDERED,ADJEDGED, and DECREED that the provision for child custody in this Order constitutes a "Custidy determination" under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, Section 30-3B-101.
Mother is awarded visitation with minor child as agreed by the parties. If the parties cannot agree the mother is awarded visitation as is set out in the Madison County Standard Visitation Schedule. Mother shall pick up the minor children after school.

Then you should be picking up the children after school, at the school. If the school tries not to release them to you then you need to show them your custody orders. Take a copy of the Madison County Standard Visitation Schedule with you in case its needed.