can my real father adopt me

[almostofage]

Thank you for that information. Would the regret come later on, an emotional level? Or legal? My mothers husband is a controlling abusive man. I have 4 more months under his roof and I am free of his reign of terror. At my graduation I invited my real father. Upon return to his house, his started in on me. I am not a small guy, 6' 2" 225 and I played football. But I take his abuse for if I fight back its harder on my mother. The law is no help here in good ole' boy country. When I was 9 and told my teacher of the goings on at home it was investigated and dropped. He did stop his abuse for a while. But not long enough.

A second question. He has threatned to have my real father arrested for seeing me. I no longer visit him at his home, but is it or woud it be illegal to have dinner together, or to meet up at public places such as an amusement park? We have plans in 2 weeks to go to a local amusement park, and I dont want to do anything to cause my father any more grief than this man has already caused.

Again thank you for any information. Do I have to wait until my 18th birthday to hire an attorney to start these proceedings or could i get the ball rolling now so to speak?

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for that information. Would the regret come later on, an emotional level? Or legal? My mothers husband is a controlling abusive man. I have 4 more months under his roof and I am free of his reign of terror. At my graduation I invited my real father. Upon return to his house, his started in on me. I am not a small guy, 6' 2" 225 and I played football. But I take his abuse for if I fight back its harder on my mother. The law is no help here in good ole' boy country. When I was 9 and told my teacher of the goings on at home it was investigated and dropped. He did stop his abuse for a while. But not long enough.

A second question. He has threatned to have my real father arrested for seeing me. I no longer visit him at his home, but is it or woud it be illegal to have dinner together, or to meet up at public places such as an amusement park? We have plans in 2 weeks to go to a local amusement park, and I dont want to do anything to cause my father any more grief than this man has already caused.

Again thank you for any information. Do I have to wait until my 18th birthday to hire an attorney to start these proceedings or could i get the ball rolling now so to speak?

Yes, its possible that he could cause trouble for your biological father (he is not your "real" father...unfortunately your adopted father is your "real father" at the moment). You are still a minor and your legal parents have the right to control with whom you associate.

However...most likely his first step would have to be to get a restraining order against your biological father. If your biological father then violated the restraining order he could be arrested.

You are young....while I understand your desire to sever your legal relationship to an abusive adoptive father....I think that eventually you would regret severing your legal relationship to your mother.

Yes, you have to wait until you are a legal adult to hire an attorney. It would also probably be best for you to give yourself some time to know your biological father without restraint or interference from your parents (which you can do after you are a legal adult)...before making any final decisions regarding adoption.

 

[almostofage]

Ldij, thank you for your advice. I am running on emotions right now. I plan to do the power of attorney on my 18th bday, and I will be moving into my fathers home, I will also petition the court for the name change. I will take your advice about adoption to heart, and give it a few years, but as it stands right now in this time and moment, i couldnt care less about the relationship with my mother as I blame her for allowing the abuse to continue.

a question about pettiness. When i was 16 my mother and her husband bought me a vehicle. Its in my name on title and I pay the insurance myself. But with the upcoming b-day and move, will they have legal grounds to take the car back? If they did I have enough in savings to buy another used car, but i had been saving for college. Would they be able to take back any other gifts that were given to me? In question are electronics, and clothes. I plan on moving while he is at work, so that it will be easier on me, but dont want to be accused of stealing. I have a computer that they purchased, but i will not be taking that as it is in a common living space, i only plan on taking what is contained in my bedroom.

 

[Ithildriel]

Ldij, thank you for your advice. I am running on emotions right now. I plan to do the power of attorney on my 18th bday, and I will be moving into my fathers home, I will also petition the court for the name change. I will take your advice about adoption to heart, and give it a few years, but as it stands right now in this time and moment, i couldnt care less about the relationship with my mother as I blame her for allowing the abuse to continue.

a question about pettiness. When i was 16 my mother and her husband bought me a vehicle. Its in my name on title and I pay the insurance myself. But with the upcoming b-day and move, will they have legal grounds to take the car back? If they did I have enough in savings to buy another used car, but i had been saving for college. Would they be able to take back any other gifts that were given to me? In question are electronics, and clothes. I plan on moving while he is at work, so that it will be easier on me, but dont want to be accused of stealing. I have a computer that they purchased, but i will not be taking that as it is in a common living space, i only plan on taking what is contained in my bedroom.

If your name is on the title to the car, then he would have no legal grounds to take it back, but I would make 100% sure that his name is not on the car anywhere, such as joint owner etc.

As for the rest of your things, I believe that once you take them, the burden of proof would be on him to prove that he paid for them, (receipts etc) and that they were not a gift. I would think he would have to take you to small claims court, and trying to take a childs clothes and nintendo away from them when they leave home probably wouldn't fly well with the judge, but that's just a guess.

 

[Ohiogal]

I didn't even pay attention to the other responses when I made my last response....my bad.

I do want to point out however that I know several people who were involved in adult adoptions, in several different states.....and it was basically just as easy as saying "I want HIM to be my daddy".

The existing legal parents didn't have to be served or notified of the adoption. Nor did the parties have to go through the process of terminating their parental rights.

However, what makes it sticky, and why I recommended that he consult an attorney, is that it ends up being a single parent adoption. Therefore not only would it remove his stepfather as his legal father, but it would also remove his mother as his legal mother....which is something that he could seriously regret in the future.

I have never heard of it being that easy nor have i ever seen it being that easy when there were other alive legal parents. That is just amazing, confusing, scary.....