What is "the bad list?"
Your ex gave the more compelling argument?
You are not at all clear in what you are trying to convince us of here - and really, that doesn't matter. WE are not the ones you need to convince.
You needed to convince a mediator, and ultimately you have to convince a judge. So - you need to get your facts all straight, preferably on paper, or you will continue to fail in what you are trying to do.