Challenging for custody of a sibling?

[BlueKat]

I am in a situation where I feel that I need to get my much younger ½ sib out of his mother’s home. There is a clear case of neglect as far as I can tell, but I don’t know if it meets the threshold for immediate removal by CPS if his older 1/2 sister (not blood related to me) were to call them. I have not seen it myself but per her they are living in a non residential building on a rural “farm” with a tarp for a roof, and a cockroach infestation. He has been withheld from school by his mother since the age of 10 with no homeschooling to substitute. He is 16 now.

Our father would not be able to take custody (not do I believe he would want to). He is an alcoholic and also does not have an appropriate living situation for a child. My ½ Brother and his mother are in Alabama. My husband and I live in California currently, but
will be moving to Colorado in the next 3-6months.

I am 33, married with no children, and my husband and I own our home. I think this would make us good candidates on paper at the least, but I have ZERO CLUE where to even start!

Does the sister call CPS? Do i retain a lawyer first? How much will that even cost/can I afford it?? What state do I retain said lawyer in...?

I’m completely lost but can’t just abandon him to his current situation. I would gladly take any advice you all have to offer.

Thanks
K

 

[Just Blue]

I am in a situation where I feel that I need to get my much younger ½ sib out of his mother’s home. There is a clear case of neglect as far as I can tell, but I don’t know if it meets the threshold for immediate removal by CPS if his older 1/2 sister (not blood related to me) were to call them. I have not seen it myself but per her they are living in a non residential building on a rural “farm” with a tarp for a roof, and a cockroach infestation. He has been withheld from school by his mother since the age of 10 with no homeschooling to substitute. He is 16 now.

Our father would not be able to take custody (not do I believe he would want to). He is an alcoholic and also does not have an appropriate living situation for a child. My ½ Brother and his mother are in Alabama. My husband and I live in California currently, but
will be moving to Colorado in the next 3-6months.

I am 33, married with no children, and my husband and I own our home. I think this would make us good candidates on paper at the least, but I have ZERO CLUE where to even start!

Does the sister call CPS? Do i retain a lawyer first? How much will that even cost/can I afford it?? What state do I retain said lawyer in...?

I’m completely lost but can’t just abandon him to his current situation. I would gladly take any advice you all have to offer.

Thanks
K

What kind of relationship do you have with your brother? When was the last time you spent significant time with him?

 

[BlueKat]

Very little. We lived together briefly for about a year I think when he was an infant and I was 17-18. Then his mother moved him away from California. He’s visiting we me right now for a week and a half. Last year he visited me for a couple of days.

 

[Zigner]

If things are so bad, why wasn't calling the authorities the first thing you did?

You have very little chance of placement since, not only are you not in the state, you are going to be moving around in the very near future.

 

[BlueKat]

As I said in my post - I haven’t seen the situation myself, his older ½ sister told me about it. Based on what I know about his mother it does not sound outlandish or fabricated to me, so I believe her, but I don’t think I can report something I haven’t even witnessed from an entirely different state?
Also, I am attempting to respect his 1/2 sister’s situation for the moment (the mother is their shared parent, while he and I share a father). She is unsure how she wants to respond to her mother’s behavior, so I am trying to gather info on my end to help. She thinks I’m the more stable/able family member to care for him, and I do agree.
Anyway, I plan to call the authorities if that’s the last resort, but while he is here with us visiting in California he is out of the situation for he moment, taking away the immediacy of the threat so his sister can have a moment to consider her decision.

 

[LdiJ]

As I said in my post - I haven’t seen the situation myself, his older ½ sister told me about it. Based on what I know about his mother it does not sound outlandish or fabricated to me, so I believe her, but I don’t think I can report something I haven’t even witnessed from an entirely different state?
Also, I am attempting to respect his 1/2 sister’s situation for the moment (the mother is their shared parent, while he and I share a father). She is unsure how she wants to respond to her mother’s behavior, so I am trying to gather info on my end to help. She thinks I’m the more stable/able family member to care for him, and I do agree.
Anyway, I plan to call the authorities if that’s the last resort, but while he is here with us visiting in California he is out of the situation for he moment, taking away the immediacy of the threat so his sister can have a moment to consider her decision.

The reality of things is that if CPS does remove him from his mother, they are not going to want to send him to live in another state with a relative unless they believe that there is no way that his mother will be able to get her act together. That means that they will want to place him locally, even if that means foster care.

You might have a shot eventually, but it would probably be at least a year with you jumping through a lot of hoops, before that happens. It could happen a little faster if mom really messes up, but if there is anyone at all in Louisiana who would challenge you, its likely that he would stay in Louisiana.

Have you considered offering to mom that he stay with you for a while? To help her out?

 

[TheGeekess]

Alabama's DHR is not going to send him across the country.
(Not Louisiana, as the post above says - LA has squat to do with AL).

 

[Taxing Matters]

I am 33, married with no children, and my husband and I own our home. I think this would make us good candidates on paper at the least, but I have ZERO CLUE where to even start!

Let’s start with the basic law on this. Under the Supreme Court’s interpretation of the Constitution parents have a right to to custody of their children and the right to make decisions regarding the care of the children so long as the parents are fit. Parents have the obligation to support their children and parents cannot physically abuse or severely neglect their children. Parents who abuse or severely neglect their kids are considered unfit and can end up losing their parental rights. But until that happens, the parents cannot be forced to give up custody of their kids, even if someone else might be able to provide a better home to the kids. Kids are not entitled to the best home available and our laws do not allow someone to take a kid away from a parent based on being able to provide a nicer home, better education, etc. After all, poor parents should not be at risk of losing their kids just because they are poor and someone wealthier can provide more.

What this means is that you cannot just step in and get custody of the kids over the mother’s objection even though you might show you can provide the kid a better living situation. The mother would first have to be declared unfit and have her parental rights terminated. That is not something that is easily done. If Alabama's Office of Child Protective Services (CPS) finds that the kids are at risk, it can take the kids from the home and start the process that could lead to termination of the parent's rights. Usually that means first trying to work out a plan by which the mother can cure the problems CPS found so that the child can be returned to the mother's care. If that doesn’t work out, then the agency goes to court to seek termination of the mother's rights. That litigation, including appeals, can take months or even years to complete. There is no guarantee that the state would place the child with you even after the parent's rights are terminated. The child is 16 now. If he is getting close to 17, there is a good chance that this process wouldn't even get finished before he turns 18. And once he's 18 he can go wherever he chooses.

You may want discuss this matter with a family law attorney in Alabama to get a feel for what all would be involved here and how long the process would take and what shot you might have to actually get custody if the mother's rights do get terminated.

 

[stealth2]

If he's now visiting with you, what has he said about his living conditions, etc.?

 

[TheGeekess]

Let’s start with the basic law on this. Under the Supreme Court’s interpretation of the Constitution parents have a right to to custody of their children and the right to make decisions regarding the care of the children so long as the parents are fit. Parents have the obligation to support their children and parents cannot physically abuse or severely neglect their children. Parents who abuse or severely neglect their kids are considered unfit and can end up losing their parental rights. But until that happens, the parents cannot be forced to give up custody of their kids, even if someone else might be able to provide a better home to the kids. Kids are not entitled to the best home available and our laws do not allow someone to take a kid away from a parent based on being able to provide a nicer home, better education, etc. After all, poor parents should not be at risk of losing their kids just because they are poor and someone wealthier can provide more.

What this means is that you cannot just step in and get custody of the kids over the mother’s objection even though you might show you can provide the kid a better living situation. The mother would first have to be declared unfit and have her parental rights terminated. That is not something that is easily done. If Alabama's Office of Child Protective Services (CPS) finds that the kids are at risk, it can take the kids from the home and start the process that could lead to termination of the parent's rights. Usually that means first trying to work out a plan by which the mother can cure the problems CPS found so that the child can be returned to the mother's care. If that doesn’t work out, then the agency goes to court to seek termination of the mother's rights. That litigation, including appeals, can take months or even years to complete. There is no guarantee that the state would place the child with you even after the parent's rights are terminated. The child is 16 now. If he is getting close to 17, there is a good chance that this process wouldn't even get finished before he turns 18. And once he's 18 he can go wherever he chooses.

You may want discuss this matter with a family law attorney in Alabama to get a feel for what all would be involved here and how long the process would take and what shot you might have to actually get custody if the mother's rights do get terminated.

Not in Alabama. Age of majority is 19.

 

[Taxing Matters]

Not in Alabama. Age of majority is 19.

Yes, you're right. Thanks for the correction.