Child custody help pls

[BadDecision]

Well, I've talked to attorneys before about things and the guy I talked to seemed to be pretty straight forward about my chances. He made it very clear that although I had a solid case it could really end up screwing me in the end because of some conflicting laws or something like that.

Wouldn't attorneys not want to do that because if they take a bunch of cases with low probability of winning they would lose more and hurt their reputation?

Actually, most attorneys like to settle out of court, have the parties agree and sign paperwork without a trial.

Not too concerned about rep., just with the judges

These cases are not about winning, it's about establishing your rights and getting reasonable time with your child that can not be taken away.
What you get may be less than what you wanted, but it has to be more than what you had to begin with... LEGAL standing

 

[stealth2]

Thanks for all the help, even if you did call me a retard in the process.

The only one who used that word was you. If that's how you'd like to identify yourself, have at it. And yes, it IS offensive to those who have kids who are mentally challenged.

 

[TCool]

The only one who used that word was you. If that's how you'd like to identify yourself, have at it. And yes, it IS offensive to those who have kids who are mentally challenged.

Well, actually BB called me a retard. But it doesn't bother me too much. My advice to you would be not to let other peoples words offend you, its not worth getting all worked up over. There are more important things to worry about, for example: If you have a mentally challenged (or whatever the PC term is) child and someone says "retard", the more important things you have to worry about are caring for your child. Getting all worked up about it isn't going to solve anything.

 

[stealth2]

Well, actually BB called me a retard. But it doesn't bother me too much. My advice to you would be not to let other peoples words offend you, its not worth getting all worked up over. There are more important things to worry about, for example: If you have a mentally challenged (or whatever the PC term is) child and someone says "retard", the more important things you have to worry about are caring for your child. Getting all worked up about it isn't going to solve anything.

I don't, but know those who do. And it is very hurtful to them. Perhaps you might want to develop a bit of empathy - it's a useful thing to have when raising kids.

 

[acmb05]

Once you have your legal rights established you do have one thing going for you when/if you file for custody.

The fact that the mother moved out of the home and left the child with you for almost a year. It will be difficult for her now to say you are not stable enough to raise her.

 

[leather]

Enough

I am new at this and I am not sure I want to continue. We should consider TCool and what he is going through right now. Not comments going back and forth between other about who has what aunt and hospital attorneys etc. He does have right as a father if his name is on the birth certificate, each state has their own set of rule and regulations so none of us know for sure what it is going to take to keep his daughter. He doesn't need to get her because he already has her in his own home. I have been through this with family members. You do need to see and attorney. Establish that you have raised her in your home even when the mother moved if this is what actually happened. Move fast before she does. Courts will consider financial support, but you have to get things in order like child care while you are in school as for a home evaluation from the courts. They go into each home and evaluate. Most reputable attorney (you can check out their records thorugh the bar association in your state) will advise you on just where you stand remember it really is up to the judge. You have a lot in your favor. Laws don't change only if you move to another state. Is the college in the same state you are in now? Remember nothing with child custody is set in concrete so if you are not able to establish custody now, in four years you will be even that much better to present yourself in court. Regardless go to school this will go well in your favor maybe not now but later. Keep fighting. And your are right if you have been accepted in college you are a smart person when I signed in on this site I did not sign in to have an english lesson. Some of us are still human to realize we all make mistake especially if we are in a hurry, upset, stressed. But there are few of us that would fight, love, protect and want with all our hearts the child we love whether it is biologically ours or not. You are her father no matter what the test say (if they are negative) no one could love her more. One more because of my education and experience (which I will not get into at this time) If she shows no signs of motivations that she is right now without your support she will get tired of taking care of the child and they usually not always but for the most part want someone else to take care of them. Make sure with you child services organization you have established a kinship meaning if any thing happens and she is taken out of the home they call you to take her. Good luck. ( for those of you who look for misspelled words don't bother there are some and I don't care)

 

[leather]

BelizeBreeze give it a break

BelizeBreeze
You don't need to make him realize anything, there are good attorneys and judges out there. TCool needs to listen to them, this is legal. By bettering himself he is a good father he can give his daughter what other can't and be a fine and wonderful example to her. He might not get custody but they can not deny him visitation and holiday rights. There is a future there for both. He needs to continue to grow, learn and gain, and he does't need to give up being a father or for other to insinuate that he would be a bad father for going to school.

 

[jbowman]

Oh. MY. GOD. What in the HELL are you talking about??? Home evaluations??? what? You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Seriously. Do NOT give advice on this forum. You just spouted off about a whole lot of CRAP. Tcool--seriously, this person DOES NOT know what he/she is saying.

Google "wisconsin""family law facilitator" or look for one in your county. If there is an office in your area, they will assist you in filling out the forms you need to establish paternity and custody/visitation--usually free of charge.

and leather-person, really STFU!

 

[stealth2]

Remember nothing with child custody is set in concrete so if you are not able to establish custody now, in four years you will be even that much better to present yourself in court. Regardless go to school this will go well in your favor maybe not now but later.

Yeah, well... simply graduating college isn't going to qualify as a change in circumstance to petition for a custody change. And by then, the court will be loathe to remove the child from the only home he's known for 4+ years. Please - don't give the kid such poor advice.

 

[leather]

Oh. MY. GOD. What in the HELL are you talking about??? Home evaluations??? what? You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Seriously. Do NOT give advice on this forum. You just spouted off about a whole lot of CRAP. Tcool--seriously, this person DOES NOT know what he/she is saying.

Google "wisconsin""family law facilitator" or look for one in your county. If there is an office in your area, they will assist you in filling out the forms you need to establish paternity and custody/visitation--usually free of charge.

and leather-person, really STFU!

Been there done that, there is home evauation done in my state. I have had family members go through this very thing, so say what you want, believe what you want. One day of being on this site I have had enough and don't plan on being on here again because of people like you. We are all entitled to our opinion and experiences and who are you to tell me I don't know what I am talking about when I this has happened just a few years ago to a family member. I refuse to play these name calling, finger pointing games it is ok for you all to say what you want and give advise. Does the word respect others mean anything to you?

 

[leather]

jbowman

Exactly what does STFU mean got the guts to explain?

 

[stealth2]

Exactly what does STFU mean got the guts to explain?

Shut The Eff Up.

 

[jbowman]

Been there done that, there is home evauation done in my state. I have had family members go through this very thing, so say what you want, believe what you want. One day of being on this site I have had enough and don't plan on being on here again because of people like you. We are all entitled to our opinion and experiences and who are you to tell me I don't know what I am talking about when I this has happened just a few years ago to a family member. I refuse to play these name calling, finger pointing games it is ok for you all to say what you want and give advise. Does the word respect others mean anything to you?

Because you DONT know what you are talking about. I dont care what your family members have been thru a few years ago. By the way, is your state the same as Tcool's? If not, that is even more reason to be quiet about things you dont know.

 

[ceara19]

Been there done that, there is home evauation done in my state. I have had family members go through this very thing, so say what you want, believe what you want. One day of being on this site I have had enough and don't plan on being on here again because of people like you. We are all entitled to our opinion and experiences and who are you to tell me I don't know what I am talking about when I this has happened just a few years ago to a family member. I refuse to play these name calling, finger pointing games it is ok for you all to say what you want and give advise. Does the word respect others mean anything to you?

It has nothing to do with "believing". It's all about KNOWING. What happened to some of your family members in YOUR state is not relevant to the OP's case.

As far as respect goes, you have not given one bit of LEGALLY CORRECT information. If you want respect, EARN IT. There are several people here that I have respect for. BB happens to be one of them. Regardless of what his PERSONAL opinion is on any given matter, I have yet to see where he has given any LEGALLY INCORRECT information to anyone. His bed-side manner may leave something to be desired, but I'll take CORRECT, HELPFUL information over NICE words any day.

 

[stealth2]

As far as respect goes, you have not given one bit of LEGALLY CORRECT information. If you want respect, EARN IT. There are several people here that I have respect for. BB happens to be one of them. Regardless of what his PERSONAL opinion is on any given matter, I have yet to see where he has given any LEGALLY INCORRECT information to anyone. His bed-side manner may leave something to be desired, but I'll take CORRECT, HELPFUL information over NICE words any day.

Ditto. My lawyer was a "b*tch on wheels" and didn't mince words at all. She told it to you straight with no pussy-footing or nice phraseology. If she thought you were acting like a moron, she told you so in no uncertain terms. And ya know what? She was exactly what was needed and earned every penny I paid her. The last thing I needed was someone with a box of tissues and a sympathetic ear.