Child custody

[Cwatts359]

California
Hi I am looking for child custody advice ... I was involved with the wrong guy who ended up putting his hands on me while I was pregnant and in front of my 7 year old son... I got myself out of the situation to leave and ended up having the baby he was not present and not on the birth certificate I ended up running into him in town and he was making threats about people being shot and driving drunk . He has broken a friends ribs in the past also abuses drugs and alcohol and has a pretty bad criminal record . He tells me he will not go to court and he is tribal and tells me he can hide his paycheck. I am not concerned about the money I just don’t want him to ever have rights or take me to court if or when he cleans up his background. I know he would have to establish paternity first and then take me to court but I’m scared if he ever does if he would get any parental rights . Also if something were to happen to me I’m scared then he might do something and my daughter would be in the wrong hands ... any advice ?

 

[TheGeekess]

Too late to decide he's not father material; you've already decided that. But until he starts filing paperwork with the court, and as long as you stay off state aid of any kind then you can avoid him all you want.

 

[ProT]

I'm curious what you meant by "as long as you stay off state aid of any kind?" What exactly does that have to do with avoiding or not avoiding the father? Ty.

 

[stealth2]

I'm curious what you meant by "as long as you stay off state aid of any kind?" What exactly does that have to do with avoiding or not avoiding the father? Ty.

Part of getting the state involved in helping support the child includes naming the possible father(s), so the state can attempt to establish paternity and force the father to support his child. As long as Mom stays off welfare (as an all-encompassing term), she can skirt having paternity established until Dad decides to take action himself.

ETA: Often, once support actions are taken against an alleged father, he will file custody/visitation orders.

 

[LdiJ]

California
Hi I am looking for child custody advice ... I was involved with the wrong guy who ended up putting his hands on me while I was pregnant and in front of my 7 year old son... I got myself out of the situation to leave and ended up having the baby he was not present and not on the birth certificate I ended up running into him in town and he was making threats about people being shot and driving drunk . He has broken a friends ribs in the past also abuses drugs and alcohol and has a pretty bad criminal record . He tells me he will not go to court and he is tribal and tells me he can hide his paycheck. I am not concerned about the money I just don’t want him to ever have rights or take me to court if or when he cleans up his background. I know he would have to establish paternity first and then take me to court but I’m scared if he ever does if he would get any parental rights . Also if something were to happen to me I’m scared then he might do something and my daughter would be in the wrong hands ... any advice ?

I agree with what Stealth told you. Stay off welfare so that the state never forces you to file to establish paternity and child support. Don't file for child support yourself either. If he really is tribal the last thing that you want is for things to end up in tribal court instead of state family court.