Child Does Not Want To Go

[TT0908]

Do you want to lose custody? What if she doesn't want to go to school? Is your daughter in counseling? Or are you just using this as an excuse to deny dad time? You won't agree? Interesting. What evidence do you have that she doesn't do well?

Of course I don't want to lose custody! I only let her stay home if she's sick. I would never let her miss school just because she doesn't want to go. She is a straight-A student.

Our papers specifically say he doesn't get two weeks back-to-back unless it's an extended stay vacation. He's not going out of town for the entire two weeks so I don't have to agree, because it's in the order that way.

The GAL and the counselor at court was my evidence where she did not want to go and did not do well.

 

[CTU]

Of course I don't want to lose custody! I only let her stay home if she's sick. I would never let her miss school just because she doesn't want to go. She is a straight-A student.

Our papers specifically say he doesn't get two weeks back-to-back unless it's an extended stay vacation. He's not going out of town for the entire two weeks so I don't have to agree, because it's in the order that way.

The GAL and the counselor at court was my evidence where she did not want to go and did not do well.

You've obviously made up your mind, so posting again is pointless. Go away and do whatever you want to do. Just don't come back crying when the court decides that you're deliberately torpedoing Dad's parenting time, and decides to make Dad the custodial parent.

 

[t74]

DD, if you do not want to go to dad's, you get to sit in your room reading good literature and doing math and science worksheets. You get to come out for meals. There is no TV, video games, friends' visits, trips to mall, music, ...

 

[Zigner]

Have you taken her to counseling to try to get to the bottom of why she is so against going to her father's house?

L - read the whole thread first

 

[TT0908]

She's 12 and being a brat. If she were being abused over there, you would have stated it and we would perhaps be more understanding.

You need therapy. She's playing you like a fiddle.



I don't think "child is a disrespectful manipulative tween" is a legally valid change of circumstance to reduce Dad's parenting time.

Perhaps the modification should be Dad gets to be CP and you get to be NCP for a while.

Your "feelings" don't matter on this issue. You have a court order, not a court suggestion. If you truly think that her feelings are based on something valid, get her into therapy/counselling to develop her coping strategies. Perhaps therapuetic visitation with Dad is in order, if he would be agreeable, in order to help facilitate a healthier parent/child relationship.



You can say "I don't think that's a great idea because...." But you CANNOT tell Dad that he can't exercise his court ordered visitation and expect things to go well for you.

Don't. Go. There.

I did tell him it was not a great idea and he just told me that she was fine and has not had an issue in the past. I had to remind him that he once had to convince her to stay at his house. So he knows she doesn't want to be there he just lies and says that she is fine while she is there.

And he's tried to take me to court to get residential but the court must always see through his lies because they never give it to him.

 

[CTU]

I did tell him it was not a great idea and he just told me that she was fine and has not had an issue in the past. I had to remind him that he once had to convince her to stay at his house. So he knows she doesn't want to be there he just lies and says that she is fine while she is there.

And he's tried to take me to court to get residential but the court must always see through his lies because they never give it to him.

It's times like this I really wish we had access to Dad. I would love to help him fix this.

 

[Zigner]

I did tell him it was not a great idea and he just told me that she was fine and has not had an issue in the past. I had to remind him that he once had to convince her to stay at his house. So he knows she doesn't want to be there he just lies and says that she is fine while she is there.

You say that in a negative way, but the fact is that DAD is parenting his child and not giving in to her manipulative behavior. He's leaps and bounds ahead of you in that regard.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I do make her go and then she melts down. Why should I have to force her to go when she is clearly in emotional distress? She was in counseling for it and we even had a GAL that took her preference into account when her dad tried to get more time with her a couple of years ago. She didn't want to go. She's two years older now and still wants to come home. She shouldn't have to suffer and should have a say when it comes down to it.

I just told her dad that she doesn't like going over there but he is oblivious and doesn't care. He just lies and says that she is fine when she is there, but if she was fine why would she be vomiting before going over there? She's a straight-A student and she wouldn't do that. It doesn't make sense.

My kid is the same age, and also a straight A student. Your kid is doing this because she is a hormonal manipulative tween. As one of the PTO members at school quipped, "May my coffee be as strong as my daughter's attitude." Were my coffee that strong, it'd pass for rocket fuel.

You need your daughter *back* in therapy, and if you go back to court for a modification, it should be to *add* therapeutic visitation with Dad. There's one of 2 possibilities: 1) her aversion to Dad is unreasonable, or 2) her aversion to Dad is reasonable. If there's any there there, this will afford you the "proof" you need. Right now... you have nothing.

 

[HRZ]

AT 18 she gets to decide ...in the meantime YOU follow the order and stop allowing her to make up the rules !

 

[Zigner]

See, even HRZ is on the same page!

 

[TT0908]

My kid is the same age, and also a straight A student. Your kid is doing this because she is a hormonal manipulative tween. As one of the PTO members at school quipped, "May my coffee be as strong as my daughter's attitude." Were my coffee that strong, it'd pass for rocket fuel.

You need your daughter *back* in therapy, and if you go back to court for a modification, it should be to *add* therapeutic visitation with Dad. There's one of 2 possibilities: 1) her aversion to Dad is unreasonable, or 2) her aversion to Dad is reasonable. If there's any there there, this will afford you the "proof" you need. Right now... you have nothing.

That won't work because we have to "agree" to put her in counseling and I'm sure he would put his foot down because he knows that if she gets to talk, she will tell them she does not want to go over there anymore.

 

[TT0908]

You say that in a negative way, but the fact is that DAD is parenting his child and not giving in to her manipulative behavior. He's leaps and bounds ahead of you in that regard.

The fact that he has to convince his child to go to his house should say something!