Child From a 1 Night Stand

[Unknown Father]

I'm a 26 year old male and live in California. I had a one time encounter with a 42 year old woman that told me she wasn't able to get pregnant. I should have, but I didn't use protection. I didn't talk or see her again, but then she calls me 7 months later to tell me she's pregnant. The due date seems off by 2-3 weeks off from the encounter date, so I just paid $1500 to get a prenatal DNA test. As I'm waiting now for the results, I'm realizing this woman seems like something is off with her and it's making me extremely nervous. She's texting me long paragraphs about her life, I respond just enough to keep her from going off on me. She's tried coming up with reasons to see me and texting me heart emoji's. She's texting me as though I'm as happy and ecstatic as she is about this situation, and I don't want anything to do with her. She is in the process of a divorce, and her only child just turned 18. She doesn't appear to have a job, money or a life in any way. I feel like she did this on purpose, but I take responsibility for my mistake and have not accused her. If I am the father of this child, I would like to do the right thing, and be the father in this baby's life, but I don't want anything to do with this woman at all. I will sign the birth certificate, be present for the birth, and then establish visitation. I would like to have 50% visitation, including holidays, and I assume I'll need to get this as a legal agreement. She's due in 6 weeks. Should I get the ball rolling immediately after paternity results, or do I have to wait until the baby is born to take legal action? At what age does the court allow the biological father to have visitation without the mother? Do I have to be at her residence with her to see him as an infant? The ways she's acting right now, I feel like she will use the baby to manipulate me once she realizes I don't want her around, only my son.I just want to avoid any problem with her.

 

[Just Blue]

I'm a 26 year old male and live in California. I had a one time encounter with a 42 year old woman that told me she wasn't able to get pregnant. I should have, but I didn't use protection. I didn't talk or see her again, but then she calls me 7 months later to tell me she's pregnant. The due date seems off by 2-3 weeks off from the encounter date, so I just paid $1500 to get a prenatal DNA test. As I'm waiting now for the results, I'm realizing this woman seems like something is off with her and it's making me extremely nervous. She's texting me long paragraphs about her life, I respond just enough to keep her from going off on me. She's tried coming up with reasons to see me and texting me heart emoji's. She's texting me as though I'm as happy and ecstatic as she is about this situation, and I don't want anything to do with her. She is in the process of a divorce, and her only child just turned 18. She doesn't appear to have a job, money or a life in any way. I feel like she did this on purpose, but I take responsibility for my mistake and have not accused her. If I am the father of this child, I would like to do the right thing, and be the father in this baby's life, but I don't want anything to do with this woman at all. I will sign the birth certificate, be present for the birth, and then establish visitation. I would like to have 50% visitation, including holidays, and I assume I'll need to get this as a legal agreement. She's due in 6 weeks. Should I get the ball rolling immediately after paternity results, or do I have to wait until the baby is born to take legal action? At what age does the court allow the biological father to have visitation without the mother? Do I have to be at her residence with her to see him as an infant? The ways she's acting right now, I feel like she will use the baby to manipulate me once she realizes I don't want her around, only my son.I just want to avoid any problem with her.

Who did you pay 1500.00 to for the prenatal DNA?
Once the baby is born, you would file for paternity, child support and a custody order. You will not get 50% time share...at least until the infant is older.

Why would you believe a woman you just met when she tells you she can't get pregnant? Dude, you should wear a condom if only to protect yourself from STD's.

 

[Ohiogal]

Register on California's Putative Father registry. You don't have a right to attend the birth. Nor do you sign the birth certificate. You sign an affidavit of paternity swearing you are the father.

 

[Unknown Father]

Register on California's Putative Father registry. You don't have a right to attend the birth. Nor do you sign the birth certificate. You sign an affidavit of paternity swearing you are the father.

All the information I've looked up says there is no Punitive Father Registry for California. For now, she says I can be present for the birth and can sign the birth certificate, but I'm trying to be cordial with her to not upset her. I have a feeling she may change her mind once she understands I'm only interested in visitation and want nothing to do with her.

 

[stealth2]

I feel like she did this on purpose

You, presumably, understand that things don't work this way. Women can't just decide to get pregnant on a certain day, from a certain encounter - even if all the stars align. Definitely register on the Putative Father's Registry and then wait and see.

 

[stealth2]

All the information I've looked up says there is no Punitive Father Registry for California. For now, she says I can be present for the birth and can sign the birth certificate, but I'm trying to be cordial with her to not upset her. I have a feeling she may change her mind once she understands I'm only interested in visitation and want nothing to do with her.

Even if you'd spelled it correctly, you're right - CA doesn't have a Putative Father's Registry. That said, since the mother is keeping you informed, you will know when the child is born - and you can then file with the court to have a paternity test ordered - the court may - or may not - accept the results of the prenatal test you paid for. That will depend on the circumstances under which it was performed.

 

[Unknown Father]

Who did you pay 1500.00 to for the prenatal DNA?
Once the baby is born, you would file for paternity, child support and a custody order. You will not get 50% time share...at least until the infant is older.

Why would you believe a woman you just met when she tells you she can't get pregnant? Dude, you should wear a condom if only to protect yourself from STD's.

I did the test through DNA Diagnostic Center. The test results will be notarized, they claim the results can be used in court, hopefully this is true.The NIPP test was expensive, but it's the only way to be certain I'm the father before birth. I want to make sure I'm legally prepared to take the right steps, especially now that I'm realizing something seems very off with this woman.

I know my actions were stupid, I was in a very bad place emotionally at that time. I may have to pay a big price for my stupidity, but I've definitely learned my lesson and want to do the right thing.

 

[zddoodah]

I just paid $1500 to get a prenatal DNA test. As I'm waiting now for the results. . . . She is in the process of a divorce

Under CA law, when a child is born to a married woman, the legally child is presumed to be the child of the woman's husband. The presumption is only rebuttable for the first couple years of the child's life and requires a court proceeding.

I feel like she did this on purpose

You mean lied about being unable to conceive? People have been doing that for decades (probably centuries).

If I am the father of this child, I would like to do the right thing, and be the father in this baby's life, but I don't want anything to do with this woman at all.

Can't have one without the other.

I will sign the birth certificate

No you won't. Parents don't sign birth certificates. At most, you could sign an acknowledgment of paternity, and that will only happen if she's not married at the time of birth.

be present for the birth

That's ENTIRELY up to the mother.

I would like to have 50% visitation, including holidays, and I assume I'll need to get this as a legal agreement.

If you want an enforceable court order, you will have to file a court action to establish paternity. Assuming you can do that, the court will enter orders regarding legal and physical custody, visitation and support. In most, but not all, cases, such orders are based on agreement of the parties.

Should I get the ball rolling immediately after paternity results, or do I have to wait until the baby is born to take legal action?

You'll have to wait until the child is born.

At what age does the court allow the biological father to have visitation without the mother?

There is no age at which that's not possible.

Do I have to be at her residence with her to see him as an infant?

That depends on what the court says. Based on what you've written, it sounds like she won't agree to visitation without her being present.

If you get a positive DNA result, I suggest consulting with and retaining the services of a family law attorney ASAP.

 

[Zigner]

I'd like to point out that she might not have "lied" about being unable to become pregnant. I have a family member who was told by her various doctors for years that she could not conceive. She now has three young children with her husband.

 

[stealth2]

Under CA law, when a child is born to a married woman, the legally child is presumed to be the child of the woman's husband. The presumption is only rebuttable for the first couple years of the child's life and requires a court proceeding.

TY for mentioning that...

 

[Unknown Father]

Under CA law, when a child is born to a married woman, the legally child is presumed to be the child of the woman's husband. The presumption is only rebuttable for the first couple years of the child's life and requires a court proceeding.




You mean lied about being unable to conceive? People have been doing that for decades (probably centuries).




Can't have one without the other.




No you won't. Parents don't sign birth certificates. At most, you could sign an acknowledgment of paternity, and that will only happen if she's not married at the time of birth.




That's ENTIRELY up to the mother.




If you want an enforceable court order, you will have to file a court action to establish paternity. Assuming you can do that, the court will enter orders regarding legal and physical custody, visitation and support. In most, but not all, cases, such orders are based on agreement of the parties.




You'll have to wait until the child is born.




There is no age at which that's not possible.




That depends on what the court says. Based on what you've written, it sounds like she won't agree to visitation without her being present.

If you get a positive DNA result, I suggest consulting with and retaining the services of a family law attorney ASAP.

I looked this woman up on the county court website. I don't understand all the paperwork posted, but it looks like her husband filed for a divorce 2019 and they still are battling it out and had a hearing just this month. Does that mean this baby will be considered his even if they haven't been living together for 2 years?

 

[Zigner]

I looked this woman up on the county court website. I don't understand all the paperwork posted, but it looks like her husband filed for a divorce 2019 and they still are battling it out and had a hearing just this month. Does that mean this baby will be considered his even if they haven't been living together for 2 years?

Yes - but that is a rebuttable presumption. I would suggest that you speak to a local family law attorney. It's unfortunate that you spent $1,500 on a prenatal DNA test that may or may not be useful when it would likely have been better spent on an attorney.

By the way, setting aside the initial act, I commend you on what seems like a genuine attempt to do what's right for the child. It's quite refreshing.

 

[stealth2]

I looked this woman up on the county court website. I don't understand all the paperwork posted, but it looks like her husband filed for a divorce 2019 and they still are battling it out and had a hearing just this month. Does that mean this baby will be considered his even if they haven't been living together for 2 years?

Hubz can fight paternity given the circumstances. Including your paternity test.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes - but that is a rebuttable presumption. I would suggest that you speak to a local family law attorney. It's unfortunate that you spent $1,500 on a prenatal DNA test that may or may not be useful when it would likely have been better spent on an attorney.

By the way, setting aside the initial act, I commend you on what seems like a genuine attempt to do what's right for the child. It's quite refreshing.

I would say yes, but not only is it a rebuttable presumption but it is pretty much guaranteed that the husband is already working on disestablishing the marital presumption of paternity as part of the divorce. Clearly its a hostile divorce if they are still battling he is certainly not going to be accepting paternity for a child that is not his.

I think it was a bit unnecessary as well to spend $1500 on a prenatal DNA test when it would have been a lot less expensive to simply wait until the baby was born. However, if he turns out not to be the father then he will be out of things sooner. Otherwise, things will just be on hold until after the baby is born anyway.

 

[zddoodah]

her husband filed for a divorce 2019 and they still are battling it out and had a hearing just this month. Does that mean this baby will be considered his even if they haven't been living together for 2 years?

Under section 7540 of the Family Code, a conclusive presumption of paternity applies if the mother and her husband were cohabitating t the time of conception at birth. Doesn't sound like that applies here. However, under section 7611: "A person is presumed to be the natural parent of a child if . . . (a) The presumed parent and the child’s natural mother are, or have been, married to each other and the child is born during the marriage, or within 300 days after the marriage is terminated by death, annulment, declaration of invalidity, or divorce, or after a judgment of separation is entered by a court."

Again, and particularly if the woman and her husband are involved in a contentious divorce case, if you get a positive DNA result, I suggest consulting with and retaining the services of a family law attorney ASAP.