Child From a 1 Night Stand

[Unknown Father]

Yes - but that is a rebuttable presumption. I would suggest that you speak to a local family law attorney. It's unfortunate that you spent $1,500 on a prenatal DNA test that may or may not be useful when it would likely have been better spent on an attorney.

By the way, setting aside the initial act, I commend you on what seems like a genuine attempt to do what's right for the child. It's quite refreshing.

I spent the $1500 because I don't want to be present in a birth that's not my child, but I do want to be present for the birth of my own child. I have 5 more days for the test results, and I truly appreciate the suggestions given here. Clearly I need to retain a lawyer to arrange visitation depending the outcome.

 

[stealth2]

I spent the $1500 because I don't want to be present in a birth that's not my child, but I do want to be present for the birth of my own child. I have 5 more days for the test results, and I truly appreciate the suggestions given here. Clearly I need to retain a lawyer to arrange visitation depending the outcome.

I do want to apologize for coming across as snarky (because I feel I did).

I am curious about the DNA test. I did check out the DDC website, and am curious about how your portion of the test occurred - - was the swab done on-site, or was it a test kit that you sent in/delivered to them? It matters, for chain of custody reasons, and may determine (in part) whether the court accepts the results.

In your shoes, I would definitely consult with/retain a lawyer to handle parenting time and support issues. You want everything spelled out clearly (I won't say concisely, as this is one of those areas where more details are preferable, IMO). Make sure both physical and legal custody are spelled out (i.e. where/when/with whom kiddo lives and time spent with the other parent (physical) and who makes what important decisions (legal)). Don't fall into the trap of "well, we can figure it out when the time comes"... That's a recipe for disaster.

Take the time to read up on CA family law, custody agreements, and child support guidelines. I'm also going to DM you a link that you may or may not find useful.

 

[Unknown Father]

I do want to apologize for coming across as snarky (because I feel I did).

I am curious about the DNA test. I did check out the DDC website, and am curious about how your portion of the test occurred - - was the swab done on-site, or was it a test kit that you sent in/delivered to them? It matters, for chain of custody reasons, and may determine (in part) whether the court accepts the results.

The test involved a mouth swab for me, and a blood sample and mouth swab from the woman. The lab we went to sent the samples back to DDC.I could only find 2 labs in the US that can do this type of test. The baby's DNA is in the mother's blood, so they'll see if it matches mine. DDC claims the results are 99% accurate and their testing protocol can be used in court. If I still have to do a regular DNA test after the baby is born, it is what it is.

 

[Zigner]

I spent the $1500 because I don't want to be present in a birth that's not my child, but I do want to be present for the birth of my own child. I have 5 more days for the test results, and I truly appreciate the suggestions given here. Clearly I need to retain a lawyer to arrange visitation depending the outcome.

Frankly, you have no inherent right to be present at the child's birth, regardless of the situation. This applies to anyone who is not physically birthing the child. This applies no matter what. As to the admissibility, it's really up to the court. In my experience, DNA results that are not the result of court-ordered testing may not be admissible. It's quite possible that you will need to have DNA testing performed after the birth of the child.

 

[LdiJ]

Frankly, you have no inherent right to be present at the child's birth, regardless of the situation. This applies to anyone who is not physically birthing the child. This applies no matter what. As to the admissibility, it's really up to the court. In my experience, DNA results that are not the result of court-ordered testing may not be admissible. It's quite possible that you will need to have DNA testing performed after the birth of the child.

Just in case you might not have fully understood...

Whether or not you get to be present at the birth of the child is 100% the decision of the mother. There is absolutely nothing you can to do be present unless she is in full agreement. Even if she agrees, if your presence causes her any stress at all during the birth or she changes her mind during the birth, the doctor will remove you from the room. You need to understand that up front, so that you won't be disappointed if you cannot be present. The prenatal DNA test will not afford you any rights where the child is concerned. You won't have any rights until a judge gives you rights.

 

[Zigner]

Just in case you might not have fully understood...

Whether or not you get to be present at the birth of the child is 100% the decision of the mother. There is absolutely nothing you can to do be present unless she is in full agreement. Even if she agrees, if your presence causes her any stress at all during the birth or she changes her mind during the birth, the doctor will remove you from the room. You need to understand that up front, so that you won't be disappointed if you cannot be present. The prenatal DNA test will not afford you any rights where the child is concerned. You won't have any rights until a judge gives you rights.

I thought I covered that, but ok. It can't hurt to have it reiterated.

 

[stealth2]

I thought I covered that, but ok. It can't hurt to have it reiterated.

A lot of Dads seem to think they have the right to be present...

 

[Zigner]

A lot of Dads seem to think they have the right to be present...

Yep.

 

[LdiJ]

I thought I covered that, but ok. It can't hurt to have it reiterated.

You did, but your wording was a bit formal and I was afraid that it wouldn't quite be clear to the OP. I didn't want him to get set up for heartbreak.

 

[zddoodah]

I thought I covered that, but ok. It can't hurt to have it reiterated.

You did, but your wording was a bit formal and I was afraid that it wouldn't quite be clear to the OP. I didn't want him to get set up for heartbreak.

It was covered in posts 3 and 8 on the first page of the thread - in the most clear and succinct language possible. At this point, the horse y'all are beating is long dead.

 

[Zigner]

It was covered in posts 3 and 8 on the first page of the thread - in the most clear and succinct language possible. At this point, the horse y'all are beating is long dead.

Some horses like it rough.

 

[Unknown Father]

I got the results yesterday, and the baby is mine. Right now she's being cooperative and allowing me to be present for the birth, but I haven't pissed her off yet. I'm afraid if I serve her any papers for visitation she'll not be as cooperative. I'll have to walk on egg shells. I'm still absorbing the impact of my actions.

 

[Just Blue]

I got the results yesterday, and the baby is mine. Right now she's being cooperative and allowing me to be present for the birth, but I haven't pissed her off yet. I'm afraid if I serve her any papers for visitation she'll not be as cooperative. I'll have to walk on egg shells. I'm still absorbing the impact of my actions.

File after the child is born. Don't stress out the pregnant woman by serving court papers.

ETA: This is likely a higher risk pregnancy due to mothers age...defiantly don't add additional stress.

 

[stealth2]

I got the results yesterday, and the baby is mine. Right now she's being cooperative and allowing me to be present for the birth, but I haven't pissed her off yet. I'm afraid if I serve her any papers for visitation she'll not be as cooperative. I'll have to walk on egg shells. I'm still absorbing the impact of my actions.

DNA/Eggshells or not - she can refuse to have you at the birth.
Congrats Dad!

 

[Zigner]

File after the child is born. Don't stress out the pregnant woman by serving court papers.

ETA: This is likely a higher risk pregnancy due to mothers age...defiantly don't add additional stress.

Further to this - there is nothing to file at this point because the child has not been born yet.