Child Support based on 50/50 timeshare, but ex doesn't take kids

[pokeyAZ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? AZ

My ex and I have been divorced for years and only get along because I chose not to fight (he loves the fight). The child support arrangement for four kids is hinged on 50/50 time split, and the order only dictates that I receive $100 per month because of this, but he is supposed to pay 50% of clothing, afterschool activities, medical and dental insurance and overages etc.

However, he has not had the kids since 2001, aside from a few dinners here and there - probably 2x a month a best. No vacations, holidays or weekend visits. I allow him to arrange these dinners whenever he wants and there is no particular schedule; whenever his time permits. Kids are happier living without the disruption of moving back and forth, and so am I. As long as I don't want money or a commitment on time, we get along great.

I have not brought this to court for two reasons: he is a fighter and everything ends us costing me more than I can afford, as well as immersing me in a battle that disrupts my family's calm, and he is self employed so can hide his income and assets. We both work full time and make about $35K-$40K per year. His payments are sporatic because he always claims to be going through a rough spot. Overall, he has paid about $11K per year in inconsistent payments. I have tons of expenses that should be covered but he feels that this is his limit and unless I want to take him to court, he will not pay more. Can our child support arrangement be changed to retroactive? According to my expenses, I show him needing to pay closer to $18-20K per year, especially since he does not exercise his visitation as the agreement outlines, and therefore has no expenses of his own to offset mine. My kids are all teenagers, and taking care of them is a full time and expensive job! What are my options?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? AZ

My ex and I have been divorced for years and only get along because I chose not to fight (he loves the fight). The child support arrangement for four kids is hinged on 50/50 time split, and the order only dictates that I receive $100 per month because of this, but he is supposed to pay 50% of clothing, afterschool activities, medical and dental insurance and overages etc.

However, he has not had the kids since 2001, aside from a few dinners here and there - probably 2x a month a best. No vacations, holidays or weekend visits. I allow him to arrange these dinners whenever he wants and there is no particular schedule; whenever his time permits. Kids are happier living without the disruption of moving back and forth, and so am I. As long as I don't want money or a commitment on time, we get along great.

I have not brought this to court for two reasons: he is a fighter and everything ends us costing me more than I can afford, as well as immersing me in a battle that disrupts my family's calm, and he is self employed so can hide his income and assets. We both work full time and make about $35K-$40K per year. His payments are sporatic because he always claims to be going through a rough spot. Overall, he has paid about $11K per year in inconsistent payments. I have tons of expenses that should be covered but he feels that this is his limit and unless I want to take him to court, he will not pay more. Can our child support arrangement be changed to retroactive? According to my expenses, I show him needing to pay closer to $18-20K per year, especially since he does not exercise his visitation as the agreement outlines, and therefore has no expenses of his own to offset mine. My kids are all teenagers, and taking care of them is a full time and expensive job! What are my options?

Run the numbers on an online child support calculator for your state. I think that you are probably setting your sights too high if you think that with his income level you would get child support that high. What he is paying now may be more in line with what your state guidelines would call for.

 

[pokeyAZ]

Ran the calculator

The child support calculator says that he should be paying about $1200 per month. I have never received that much - especially at one time! Annually this would be about $14.4K vs the $11K I am getting, and since he has not paid that amount and 4 years have gone by, there is about alot owing that is accrueing - and our agreement does say he is to split all medical and extracurricular - which are the issues of concern. One of the kids has had reoccuring illness and my medical expenses last year were $6K after insurance. The real problem is that the amount owing is probably the same as the cost of the attorney!

 

[pypercat]

okay - First, you have to stop being afraid of your ex - mine is much like you describe, and until you learn to fight back legally he will take advantage of you again and again and again.
My understanding is that all the court needs is two years of tax returns to determine child support from the self-employed. You can get those by court order.
IF you can prove that he has seen the kids less than 25% of the time, you can ask the court to modify your order and grant you more child support. It may cost you some attorneys fees and some court costs, but it's either that or no change. You get to decide.
good luck!

 

[pokeyAZ]

his tax returns show something like $19K annual salary. As I said, he is a weasel on hiding income and assets. Always works on commission gigs; always robbing peter to pay paul...but somehow recently managed to lease a new expensive sportscar and lives a life of restaraunts, nightclubs and travel...but is always ready with a smokescreen so you can never find the money. I know that I will need to spend an enormous amount of time and energy finding the truth. And I know that the attorney fees could be more than any amount awarded...so it just is hard to decide to take the step.

 

[LdiJ]

his tax returns show something like $19K annual salary. As I said, he is a weasel on hiding income and assets. Always works on commission gigs; always robbing peter to pay paul...but somehow recently managed to lease a new expensive sportscar and lives a life of restaraunts, nightclubs and travel...but is always ready with a smokescreen so you can never find the money. I know that I will need to spend an enormous amount of time and energy finding the truth. And I know that the attorney fees could be more than any amount awarded...so it just is hard to decide to take the step.

Did you run the child support calculator using the 19K? Because if you didn't, you should. If you can't prove that he is making considerably more than 19k, you won't come close to getting the 11k you recieve now, let alone anything more. (and its his profit that counts, not his gross income)