Child Support for Child as a result of one-night stand

[ws1122]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama

My husband and I have 3 children with one more (and final) on the way. About 6 months ago, he was presented with an order to take a paternity test. The test concluded that he is indeed the father of a now 9-month old baby girl; the woman's pregnancy was the result of a one-night stand, and he was unaware of the child until receiving the paternity test order. Having said all that, I have several questions. Does the fact that she withheld all information about the child until well after the birth help our side of the case any? Does that fact that he has 3 (almost 4) children from our marriage factor into the support payment amount we have to pay to the mother? If we decide to file for joint legal and physical custody of the child, does that lessen the amount of support payed to the mother? If we decide to file for joint legal and physical custody of the child, does that then open up my earnings also?

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama

My husband and I have 3 children with one more (and final) on the way. About 6 months ago, he was presented with an order to take a paternity test. The test concluded that he is indeed the father of a now 9-month old baby girl; the woman's pregnancy was the result of a one-night stand, and he was unaware of the child until receiving the paternity test order. Having said all that, I have several questions. Does the fact that she withheld all information about the child until well after the birth help our side of the case any? Does that fact that he has 3 (almost 4) children from our marriage factor into the support payment amount we have to pay to the mother? If we decide to file for joint legal and physical custody of the child, does that lessen the amount of support payed to the mother? If we decide to file for joint legal and physical custody of the child, does that then open up my earnings also?

Short answers: No. No. You can't file for diddly, you are not legally anybody in this situation; the only we legally in the out of wedlock situation is DAD and MOM.

 

[Proserpina]

Here's what Dad needs to expect:

Joint legal custody with the regular visitation schedule.

Child to be set per guidelines; his other children won't count unless there are previous orders for child support pertaining to them. Similarly, your income doesn't count, and Dad's expenses (with a few exceptions) don't count either.

The fact that Dad claims not to have known about the pregnancy doesn't matter; I'd expect Mom to say "Hey, he knew he had sex with me and he knew that sex = chance of pregnancy. Not my problem if he didn't follow up".

 

[TheGeekess]

Here's what Dad needs to expect:

Joint legal custody with the regular visitation schedule.

Child to be set per guidelines; his other children won't count unless there are previous orders for child support pertaining to them. Similarly, your income doesn't count, and Dad's expenses (with a few exceptions) don't count either.

The fact that Dad claims not to have known about the pregnancy doesn't matter; I'd expect Mom to say "Hey, he knew he had sex with me and he knew that sex = chance of pregnancy. Not my problem if he didn't follow up".

Alabama does not have a statewide standardized visitation. There are some jurisdictions where judges have visitation orders that they prefer to be followed.

 

[Proserpina]

Alabama does not have a statewide standardized visitation. There are some jurisdictions where judges have visitation orders that they prefer to be followed.

Oh, fairy nuff!

Just so long as Dad understands he's not likely going to get a 50/50 timeshare at this point

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama

My husband and I have 3 children with one more (and final) on the way. About 6 months ago, he was presented with an order to take a paternity test. The test concluded that he is indeed the father of a now 9-month old baby girl; the woman's pregnancy was the result of a one-night stand, and he was unaware of the child until receiving the paternity test order. Having said all that, I have several questions. Does the fact that she withheld all information about the child until well after the birth help our side of the case any? Does that fact that he has 3 (almost 4) children from our marriage factor into the support payment amount we have to pay to the mother? If we decide to file for joint legal and physical custody of the child, does that lessen the amount of support payed to the mother? If we decide to file for joint legal and physical custody of the child, does that then open up my earnings also?

To be clear. Only the child's parents are involved in this, legally speaking. The child is not yours. There is not going to be any filing on your part for any sort of custody.

Of course, you should prepare yourself for your own legal matters, such as the pending divorce...

 

[ws1122]

To be clear. Only the child's parents are involved in this, legally speaking. The child is not yours. There is not going to be any filing on your part for any sort of custody.

Of course, you should prepare yourself for your own legal matters, such as the pending divorce...

I understand your assumption of divorce, given the details I've shared on this forum. However, I chose to let my husband move back in after much crying, screaming, and talking. We have our own family, and I will not let our children suffer because of this. This has been a very tough situation, but we have worked this out and continue to do so on a daily basis. It's definitely hard, but marriage itself is NOT easy. I'm not ready to give up on our marriage.

Joint custody was actually my idea. I feel that it's the right thing to do; it's not the child's fault that she is in this situation...and if we are having to pay to support her, we want to ensure that she is properly taken care of and our money is going to her and not to the mother's shopping habit.

 

[Proserpina]

I understand your assumption of divorce, given the details I've shared on this forum. However, I chose to let my husband move back in after much crying, screaming, and talking. We have our own family, and I will not let our children suffer because of this. This has been a very tough situation, but we have worked this out and continue to do so on a daily basis. It's definitely hard, but marriage itself is NOT easy. I'm not ready to give up on our marriage.

Joint custody was actually my idea. I feel that it's the right thing to do; it's not the child's fault that she is in this situation...and if we are having to pay to support her, we want to ensure that she is properly taken care of and our money is going to her and not to the mother's shopping habit.

Dad's not going to like this reality check.

What Mom does with child support is absolutely up to her. Dad will not have any control over that. Heck, there are CPs here who have built up healthy collections of Coach purses from their child support checks.

Again, a 50/50 timeshare isn't going to happen unless Mom agrees. Dad will pay guideline support.

You are not, and will never be, responsible for supporting his child.

 

[ecmst12]

You need to NOT be involved in anything dad chooses to file regarding this child. You shouldn't be in court with him, heck you shouldn't even be involved in meeting with his lawyer but at least that's in private. You need to step WAY back. Although you will be spending time with this child during visitation most likely, you need to accept your role as a bystander, not a person responsible for the raising of the child. You need to show proper respect to mom in HER role as the child's other parent.

 

[TheGeekess]

Dad's not going to like this reality check.

What Mom does with child support is absolutely up to her. Dad will not have any control over that. Heck, there are CPs here who have built up healthy collections of Coach purses from their child support checks.

Again, a 50/50 timeshare isn't going to happen unless Mom agrees. Dad will pay guideline support.

You are not, and will never be, responsible for supporting his child.

Yes, I've heard judges in Bama say that they don't order 50/50 physical custody, especially if one of the parents is doing such because they think it will reduce CS.

 

[Proserpina]

Yes, I've heard judges in Bama say that they don't order 50/50 physical custody, especially if one of the parents is doing such because they think it will reduce CS.

Or if they have the mindset that "well, if I have to pay, then I suppose I deserve some custody. I mean it doesn't matter whether it's in the child's best interests or not...it's just the principle of the thing", right?

I'm wondering if Dad would want joint custody if he WASN'T paying child support. Actually I'm wondering if DAD wants custody at all.

#jaded

 

[TheGeekess]

Or if they have the mindset that "well, if I have to pay, then I suppose I deserve some custody. I mean it doesn't matter whether it's in the child's best interests or not...it's just the principle of the thing", right?

I'm wondering if Dad would want joint custody if he WASN'T paying child support. Actually I'm wondering if DAD wants custody at all.

#jaded

Right.... I personally know of that kind of situation. Not very pretty for the child.

 

[Just Blue]

I understand your assumption of divorce, given the details I've shared on this forum. However, I chose to let my husband move back in after much crying, screaming, and talking. We have our own family, and I will not let our children suffer because of this. This has been a very tough situation, but we have worked this out and continue to do so on a daily basis. It's definitely hard, but marriage itself is NOT easy. I'm not ready to give up on our marriage.

Joint custody was actually my idea. I feel that it's the right thing to do; it's not the child's fault that she is in this situation...and if we are having to pay to support her, we want to ensure that she is properly taken care of and our money is going to her and not to the mother's shopping habit.

Do you have any clue to how offensive you are?

 

[ws1122]

Thanks to those who actually did give advice on the questions that I asked. For the record, these are only options we are discussing...I have not and do not plan to be in the courtroom, in the attorney meetings, or making the decisions. I realize that these are decisions that my husband has to make, but I simply feel that they merit some discussion between the two of us because this affects our family as well. After all, there's a child out there who is my husband's and who is a half sibling to our own children. Maybe I am being offensive...but it's hard not to when I'm talking about the woman who has a child with my husband. Good night all...

 

[cbg]

Hey, your husband was present at the time too; she didn't get pregnant by herself. How come she's the only bad guy?