Child Support not being used for child

[debianne]

State : Indiana.
My husband has paid $8,000 in child support the last 12 months and will be paying $400 a month by agreement to his ex-wife for their 3 year old daughter.
His ex-wife has not used this money for their daughter but admits using it to pay her credit card bills and car payments.
She also lives with her parents so does not pay rent or utility bills. She also claims child care costs but the child is taken care of by her mother.
Does he have any rights to demand she spend it on his daughter and not herself?

Thankyou.

 

[deefran]

State : Indiana.
My husband has paid $8,000 in child support the last 12 months and will be paying $400 a month by agreement to his ex-wife for their 3 year old daughter.
His ex-wife has not used this money for their daughter but admits using it to pay her credit card bills and car payments.
She also lives with her parents so does not pay rent or utility bills. She also claims child care costs but the child is taken care of by her mother.
Does he have any rights to demand she spend it on his daughter and not herself?

Thankyou.

If the child has clothing, food, and the required necessities a child requires...then apparently it is being used for her. There is no law which dictates exactly what CS is to be used for, so your ex has no rights to demand what she spend it on. If CS is not paid through a court agreement he is at the mercy of the mother. If CS was ordered through the courts and set at a certain amount and his ex and he made a verbal agreement to change this amount without notifying the courts he could be accruing arrearages...so tread carefully.

 

[debianne]

The child has clearly not been provided with $8000 worth of clothes, necessities, food etc.. over the last 10 months.
We have no problem paying the necessary amount so long as we are paying 50% of her upkeep and the money is actually going to the child.
Are you suggesting that it would be perfectly legal for her to spend $1000 of my husbands money on a holiday for herself and her new boyfriend?

 

[deefran]

The child has clearly not been provided with $8000 worth of clothes, necessities, food etc.. over the last 10 months.
We have no problem paying the necessary amount so long as we are paying 50% of her upkeep and the money is actually going to the child.
Are you suggesting that it would be perfectly legal for her to spend $1000 of my husbands money on a holiday for herself and her new boyfriend?

I did not suggest anything....I gave you LEGAL advice and a judge will tell you the same. She is paying car payments??? Ok..does the child need to get to dr's appointments etc...she is making credit card payments..how can you prove she did NOT use the card to buy things for the child??? This can all be argued and quickly dismissed in court. As I said there is NO law which states that CS is to be used for specific items, costs...it is used for maintaining the costs attributed to the upbringing of a child. If you think your husband is paying too much...take her to court and file through there...could be he's overpaying...or could be they'll go by his and her income and order more.

 

[debianne]

I asked if you were suggesting it was legal; as 'legal' advice, you clearly were. I wasn't being rude, shocked perhaps.
I understand the child has needs which involve the use of a car, and so we should be paying 50% for the degree to which it is used for her purposes. As applies to everything involving her.
My only problem is that I am aware of how much it costs to raise a child and the definition of child support is 50% contributions per parent (including obligee). In such a case where there are provisions for a legal definition it seems odd that there is no provision for cases where this legal definition is not exercised.
The credit card bills are not related to the child whatsoever as they involve old debts his ex accumulated through personal purchases.
If my husband were to pursue this is it likely we may end up paying more money, which I presume depends on state law? (I am English so don't know the degree of state authority on these matter).
Thanks again for your help.

 

[Alabama]

When CS was figure in my case they used both of our incomes to figure the support. In my case it was not a 50:50 split. Because I make more money than the NCP, it was 60% me, 40% him.

 

[debianne]

Is there a website with a CS calculator where we could possibly find out how much we shold be paying (as she earns quite a decent salary too)? We're not afraid of paying more, only that any money we give (and thus, depriving our future children of) won't go to the right place.

 

[jfk]

Try this website. It will give you a rough idea of what the C/S should be. Hope this helps.

http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/Childsupport/indiana/

 

[debianne]

Thanks for the link. According to my rough estimations we are paying slightly too much. Perhaps this will give us some ground upon which to confront her about where the money is going.

 

[Grandma B]

Thanks for the link. According to my rough estimations we are paying slightly too much. Perhaps this will give us some ground upon which to confront her about where the money is going.

Don't bother confronting her. She has no obligation to provide you an accounting of her expenses. It doesn't matter where she lives, with whom she lives, or with whom she takes vacations (or for that matter, who pays for the vacation).

He has to pay support, and she can spend it as she likes, as long as the child is not abused or neglected.

 

[ccarter]

Well put Grandma B...obviously the poster is not getting it, and she has been given correct advice.

 

[smh33]

If the mom is claiming daycare expense in the figuring of support, you can (u'r lawyer) demand proof such as receipts or letter to verify enrollment & cost from daycare. Usually that is required to use the cost in figuring support...did your judge not ask? If the mom is living with her parents and depending on if she works,etc...the court does consider if a parent is not/does not support themselves...afterall if not supporting self how are they supporting a child? Best to get a lawyer if going to court over child support.
Oh yeah, don't ever take a vacation,buy a house,car,etc even if you are paid up and even if the ex is vacationing,owning a home,car,etc...if you do then of course you should be able to pay more support...lol Good Luck

 

[debianne]

I certainly do get the point people are making here but find it quite preposterous.
That a mother can spend so much money on herself and not the child (instead of holidaying on the money, take the child on the holiday too, or put the extra money into an account for when she's older and wants a car, home etc....this is my idea of providing for your children). She could be receiving music lessons, language tuition, a savings acount for traveling Europe before university (which we will also be paying for).
I understand completely she has no obligation to account for it but simply do not agree and am rather shocked that this is the case.
My husband wants to provide the best for his daughter and make sure she has everything he can afford, but if he is not responsible for where the money goes he could quite simply be paying $1000 a month for nothing...
I find that very hard to justify and know that if my mother had received such amounts when I was growing up i'd be curious now as to why I never had those things and where the money actually went.
A mother in England received 500 pounds for childcare from the government, she used it for a holiday with her friends. She was taken to court and order to pay it back and received vouchers for school clothing instead.

 

[dorenephilpot]

Grandma B said it best: As long as the child is not being abused or neglected, mom doesn't have to provide an accounting to your husband of how the funds are used.

If you believe that the weekly amount is artificially inflated because day care was factored in but is not now being used, then you can always go back in for a modification -- if more than a year has passed since the last modification.

 

[haiku]

well fo rone thing, child support is not considered welfare from the state so a person receiving does not have to account for what they do with any and all of thier money.

I would think your husband should really consider getting his child support established in court, that way though you may not agree with the set amount, it is the law, and none can say it is the "wrong" amount and need more or less.

be sure daycare is officially documented in court whether or not in your state it i sa seperate payment or included in the child support payment. Leave nothing to chance, and make sure all cost responsibility from daycare, schooling, and medical expense is included.

in some cases i do believe the child support system is unfair and one sided, but arguing about it here is pointless. the law is the law, and thats what they deal with here.

my husband has a good way of dealing with paying child support. (he pays faithfully every month, and also pays old marital debt, our own bills, and other responsibilities. We were able to buy a house, our priority. we cannot really afford any extra's or vacations right now. I shop consignment alot. She receives the support, and works, the kids have designer wear, the latest toys, and go to disneyworld every year, and moves from place to place, because rent is not her priority. she is jealous and vinictive, and the support we pay is never enough) my husband considers the child support he pays reimbursment for his share of whatever she chose the childrens expenses to be with her money the prior month, that way anything she chooses to do with his money is her business, and he doesnt have to think about it.

it really helps, to keep the things as a divorced parent, you cannot control in check, and not keep the anger and resentment from bleeding into your life and other relationships.