Comments made of a sexual nature

[med88]

What is the name of your state? Iowa

Good morning. I work part-time at a major electronics chain/store where most of the employees (sales clerks) are males, probably under 25 on average (probable even younger).. I am older (over 50). My daughter is also employed at the same store - she is 19. At a recent all store meeting, my dauighter asked me for a dollar to purchase something to drink. My supervisor (male, 23 years old) says "At least she didn't have to do a lap dance for that dollar". Don't need to say how upset I was after that comment. I didn't say anything at that point. Later, during the meeting, the General Manager asked of all the employees "Do you know what shrinkage is?" (referring to theft). Same person, my supervisor who was sitting next to me, leans over and says "That's what happens to men when they get cold". I ignored the comment at the time. I really didn't know exactly how to react - the comment was uncalled for and I was uncomfortable about it and how I was supposed/expected to react.

After the meeting, I went to the district rep (general manager level - he helps general managers and is assigned our store) and told him about the comments. He had me write everything down and the HR department was engaged and I am satisfied the situation is being addressed. (Apparently this same person made comments os an explicit nature reagrding and to a female wireless phone rep - she complained to the corprate offices and the supervisor is "being dealt with". The district person told me in light of the earlier situation, this one (mine) "seals the deal".

Here's what is going on now: I use MySpace.com to monitor my kids activites/commetns with friends, etc - therefore I have a web page. My supervisor had requested me to add him as a friend some time ago which I did. Sunday morning (day after mtg) I have two bulletins from the supv. The first one titled "All things come to an end". There was nothing else in the bulletin - just the title. Then I get another one title "more on the end" and when I open it, it contains the lyrics to a Frank Sinatra song (My Way). This didn't scare me but certainly has me concerned. I've know this supervisor for four years and I've never been around him/seen him mad. I don't know the meaning of the bulletins. I am fairly certain he knows about the complaint (he was pacing in front of the conference room while I was meeting with management). That's the first thing.

The second thing. I have told NO ONE about this. The first comment I heard from a coworker was during my shift on Sunday... it was about the phone rep and the sexual harrassment charge. Then last night, I heard form a coworker about my complaint. I played dumb and asked who told him that... he said everyone came up to him and said soemthing.

Okay so last night the schedule comes out for next week. I am supposed to go out of town this weekend and had requested Saturday and Sunday off - I am scheduled for Sunday (sched runs Sun-Sat). The schedule for this week was correct - with Saturday off. My supv did the schedule for next week but not sure when in relation to the complaint.

I am starting to get really, really uncomfortable about things - concerned about being set up especially. The supv has been put on suspension (effective yesterday) but what about when he comes back.

What can/should I expect from the store? I've thought about quitting but I'm a single parent and the extra income is very useful. What do I do about the bulletins - ignore them or should I tell management? What about the schedule - I can't work the day I'm scheduled and I had requested it off (approved) - why did he schedule me anyway? What if the guy is allowed to come back to work as my supervisor. I know the law says no retaliation but**************.

 

[ecmst12]

It sounds like management is addressing the situation appropriately, you should tell them about the postings that made you uncomfortable, and you might also want to take this sleazeball off your friends list. Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. Also bring up the problem with the schedule so you can get your day off taken care of. It's important NOT to keep these things to yourself; if it comes down to a sexual harassment action, you will need to show that you did everything you could to address the problem within your company's policy before looking to the law for help. Not saying that's where it will end up, but most companys put a lot of effort into developing a workable sexual harassment policy (because they have to!) and that should definitely be your first line for these situations.

It sounds like you are not the only person who has complained about this supervisor, from what you've posted. Usually policies do not jump right to suspension for a couple of inappropriate comments, the employee is usually just counseled or sometimes given sensitivity training. If there's a pattern of behavior with this guy, then it's good that you came forward to hold him accountable for it.

 

[mitousmom]

I think you erred by not first telling the supervisor that you found his comments offensive and unwelcome and giving him a chance to stop the behavior before you reported him to management. While his comments were puerile, they weren't sexually egregious or hostile. He probably either has been told or has determined that you complained about his comments and holds you, rather than himself, responsible for his troubles. He probably feels betrayed by your actions and is acting rather childishly.

You should simply inform management of the error in your schedule and ask for a correction. Since you don't know whether your supervisor made out the schedule before or after your complaint, you shouldn't accuse him of retaliation. If you do and you are wrong, you will only have compounded the situation.

If the bulletins on MySpace.com truly made you uncomfortable and you think the supervisor is capable of harming you, you can tell management. However, unless he used company equipment to send you the bulletins, your employer is not responsible. I'm not that familiar with MySpace.com but my son tells me you have to grant others permission to post to your space. If that's the case, block his access.

There is no requirement for the confidential handling of sexual harassment complaints, although EEOC suggests it. Therefore, it is quite possible that your co-workers will find out that you made the complaint. However, I'm not quite sure why it bothers you that they know.

When the supervisor returns, whether he's your supervisor or not, you need to act maturely and professionally and hope he acts similarly.