Complicated custody

[Otterchick]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Ohio
I apologize for the length, but as I said, it's complicated. We have a lawyer but would like a second opinion.
A little over a year ago, my husband and I were having problems. During this time he was seeing someone who was seperated from her husband. After a couple of months, she got pregnant with twins. Shortly after this, my husband and I reconciled and have even renewed our vows. Although we have not had a paternity test yet (going to court for that), we are pretty sure they are his. We had no intention of avoiding any responsibility for these children, even hoping to get custody one day because she is a nutjob. (Trust me on this) Here is where the fun starts.
She was letting us have the babies overnight 3-4 nights a week as she already has 2 children that are comepletely out of control. She was more that happy to have us take them, she even let a friend keep them for a couple of days the week they came home from the hospital. This was working out ok, we were doing all the transporting and although we weren't paying support at this time, we did purchase formula and diapers on request. After about 2 months of this, she basically gets mad because I got a new (to me) van to easier transport the babies and our other 3 kids and she got jealous. That week we get a call saying that she and her husband are going to work things out (even though she has been seeing another married man) and that we can't see the kids anymore. (Just previous to this she told my husband that she was pregnant by this other married man.) This has been about 2 months ago, we have not seen the babies since and she has left a message saying that her and this "other man" are going to move to Florida and she wanted my husband to sign off on his rights. She also lied to our lawyer telling him that we said we wanted nothing to do with the babies (which he knows is crap and which is why we spend $1000 on baby things for our house when they were born).
To sum it up, we are going to court for a forced paternity test and joint custody. Do we have a chance?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Even if your husband is found to be the biological father of the children (and that's not a given) he may have no rights under Ohio law which give legal rights to the husband during a marriage.

At the present time, he has no rights whatsoever. And you, regardless of how the paternity turns out, will never have rights to the children.

 

[timsgurlfurlife]

I give you a big applause for taking your husband back and working things out even after there are babies involved in the infidelity.(Cause I don't think I could)......But back to the subject....Did you keep receipts etc. from all that you bought? I would think that if the PT comes out as your husband being the father then he could have SOME rights. But if she handed them over all the time because she couldn't handle them then chances are in the future she could do the same when things get unbearable. But I have learned that the senior members no more about things so pay attention to what they have to say. This is just my opinion .....BUT I beleive that he could get some rights if he turns out to be the dad.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Ohio
I apologize for the length, but as I said, it's complicated. We have a lawyer but would like a second opinion.
A little over a year ago, my husband and I were having problems. During this time he was seeing someone who was seperated from her husband. After a couple of months, she got pregnant with twins. Shortly after this, my husband and I reconciled and have even renewed our vows. Although we have not had a paternity test yet (going to court for that), we are pretty sure they are his. We had no intention of avoiding any responsibility for these children, even hoping to get custody one day because she is a nutjob. (Trust me on this) Here is where the fun starts.
She was letting us have the babies overnight 3-4 nights a week as she already has 2 children that are comepletely out of control. She was more that happy to have us take them, she even let a friend keep them for a couple of days the week they came home from the hospital. This was working out ok, we were doing all the transporting and although we weren't paying support at this time, we did purchase formula and diapers on request. After about 2 months of this, she basically gets mad because I got a new (to me) van to easier transport the babies and our other 3 kids and she got jealous. That week we get a call saying that she and her husband are going to work things out (even though she has been seeing another married man) and that we can't see the kids anymore. (Just previous to this she told my husband that she was pregnant by this other married man.) This has been about 2 months ago, we have not seen the babies since and she has left a message saying that her and this "other man" are going to move to Florida and she wanted my husband to sign off on his rights. She also lied to our lawyer telling him that we said we wanted nothing to do with the babies (which he knows is crap and which is why we spend $1000 on baby things for our house when they were born).
To sum it up, we are going to court for a forced paternity test and joint custody. Do we have a chance?

I'm not sure what the judge will order (It's hard for anyone to guess) but at the minimum - once paternity is established- he'll get visitation rights.

Has your husband already filed in court for Paternity & Custody? It's unlikely she will be able to move out of state while a custody/paternity case is underway. Make sure you notify the courts of her intent to flee the state with the children, so that can be addressed. Then if she moves in the future your husband will be able to petition the court to prevent the move & the mother would have to prove to the court that the move is in the best interest of the children.

This one is complicated and may take a while to work it's way through the various avenues in court. Does the father have an attorney?

 

[Otterchick]

We have hired an attorney and are going to court next week to force her to submit to a paternity test and for joint custody. We have a lot of documentation as to messages she has left showing that she believes that he is the father. We also filed with the putative father registry when she was pregnant. I just wanted another perspective on our chances given the situation with the mother. She now has 4 children and one on the way by 4 different men all while married to her husband, and although I am not trying to absolve my husband from any wrongdoing I do believe we would be better parents than a woman who allows her 3 year old to call her a bitch. Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond to this, it is truly appreciated.
And a special comment to Belize:
I know I will never personally have rights as I am already raising my husbands 3 children from a previous relationship. However, that doesn't make me love them any less. I've read many of your responses and not everyone is looking for easy money by suing, some just want help. You may not intentionally do this, but many of your answers seem very condescending. Please take this into consideration when answering someone's plea for help.