Complicated divorce/child custody... help!

[not2cleverRed]

I am not playing a game or “playing house” I removed us from an verbally and emotionally abusive household and am trying to do the best for her. I work my ass off to provide for her without any help so your rude comments are not accepted here.

She has a legal father who she does not call Daddy.

We are not questioning your decision to get out of your marriage. We are questioning the wisdom of allowing someone to become the legal father who was neither the biological father nor, seemingly, particularly emotionally invested in becoming a father.

There were ways to avoid this. In the fresh blush of new love and marriage, it perhaps seemed convenient, but long term it would have been better to establish the biological father's paternity, waited a year, and then gone forward with a stepparent adoption. It is much more difficult for someone who has gone through the stepparent adoption process to later claim that they were "tricked" into becoming a legal parent during a divorce.

You are in a situation where your child is saddled with a legal parent who is neither her biological parent nor loves her. Yes, she needs therapy.

There are plenty of stepchildren out there who are more bonded with their stepparents than your child is with her legal father.

 

[Just Blue]

She has a legal father who she does not call Daddy.

We are not questioning your decision to get out of your marriage. We are questioning the wisdom of allowing someone to become the legal father who was neither the biological father nor, seemingly, particularly emotionally invested in becoming a father.

There were ways to avoid this. In the fresh blush of new love and marriage, it perhaps seemed convenient, but long term it would have been better to establish the biological father's paternity, waited a year, and then gone forward with a stepparent adoption. It is much more difficult for someone who has gone through the stepparent adoption process to later claim that they were "tricked" into becoming a legal parent during a divorce.

You are in a situation where your child is saddled with a legal parent who is neither her biological parent nor loves her. Yes, she needs therapy.

There are plenty of stepchildren out there who are more bonded with their stepparents than your child is with her legal father.

It seem that there are more step-parents out there bonded with their step-children than OP hubby is to his legal child. Child might feel very bonded to mother husband.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am not playing a game or “playing house” I removed us from an verbally and emotionally abusive household and am trying to do the best for her. I work my ass off to provide for her without any help so your rude comments are not accepted here.

You had no right to let your husband step in as dad. You should have informed the biological father as soon as possible. Now, your husband will have a right to get full custody and you can pay him child support. Per the law in OK. So yes, it is a game to play musical daddies and not be forthright. you should have had your husband sign the denial of paternity immediately.