concern over children being alone with other parent

[Alesia55]

What is the name of your state? new Hampshire

I was impregnated by a 25 year old when I was 16. we had 3 children and he was extremely abusive which is documented. He was absent from the 3 kids lives for 5-6 years. he has barely ever seen our youngest daughter. he has explained very sexual things that aren't true in his motions he submitted including accusations of molestation with our children to deflect his shortcomings that will be discussed in court.There is now a custody battle because i refuse to do things without courts help so he has attacked me in every way possible. my concern is my kids are not comfortable being alone with him and have witnessed him dating minor girls (16-17 year old girls) he has continuously done so for years. i have proof that he had another sexual relationship with a minor and he was 35 years old. how do i keep my kids safe from a predator? what is the proper way to discuss this with judge? what will they do? he has clearly shown his behavior hasn't changed, he has manipulated the children, he took the kids to Florida without my consent to live and i took them back, he has abused every girlfriend he has been with and has punched my son in the stomach. he claims my son has disabilities that he doesn't really have. I'm scared he will get custody when we have been in hiding for over a year. there has been a restraining order set multiple times against him. please help!

 

[cbg]

We're going to need just a tad more information than that.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? new Hampshire

More information is needed.

 

[Alesia55]

More information is needed.

i was impregnated by a 25 year old when I was 16. we had 3 children and he was extremely abusive which is documented. He was absent from the 3 kids lives for 5-6 years. he has barely ever seen our youngest daughter. he has explained very sexual things that aren't true in his motions he submitted including accusations of molestation with our children to deflect his shortcomings that will be discussed in court.There is now a custody battle because i refuse to do things without courts help so he has attacked me in every way possible. my concern is my kids are not comfortable being alone with him and have witnessed him dating minor girls (16-17 year old girls) he has continuously done so for years. i have proof that he had another sexual relationship with a minor and he was 35 years old. how do i keep my kids safe from a predator? what is the proper way to discuss this with judge? what will they do? he has clearly shown his behavior hasn't changed, he has manipulated the children, he took the kids to Florida without my consent to live and i took them back, he has abused every girlfriend he has been with and has punched my son in the stomach. he claims my son has disabilities that he doesn't really have. I'm scared he will get custody when we have been in hiding for over a year. there has been a restraining order set multiple times against him. please help!

 

[Alesia55]

We're going to need just a tad more information than that.

ok what information is needed because this case gets very tricky.

 

[Alesia55]

More information is needed.

Tos?

 

[Just Blue]

ok what information is needed because this case gets very tricky.

That question was asked of you BEFORE your second post/edit to your first post that gave some actual information.

Are you actively hiding the children from their father? Are there any current custody orders ...if so what state?

 

[Alesia55]

That question was asked of you BEFORE your second post/edit to your first post that gave some actual information.

Are you actively hiding the children from their father? Are there any current custody orders ...if so what state?

he doesn't have our address he doesn't know where the kids go to school etc. there is a pending case right now regarding custody here in new Hampshire. there has been a restraining order as well that's been set for 18 months

 

[stealth2]

Were you married?

 

[Alesia55]

Were you married?

no we were never married and im applying for sole custody. im more concerned with his innapropriate behaviors hes subjecting children too and dating girls only 7 years his childs senior. As a 37 year old man he has preyed on 16-17 year old girls including myself and I don't know if the courts will take stuff like that into consideration. he has had stalking orders from 2 women and hes had domestic. he has tried to alienate the children and tell them I didn't love them etc and has subjected the kids to certain situations that is not appropriate for children such as telling his sons sexual positions hes had girls in or different places he has had sex. He is most CERTAINLY a predator and continues to get away with it. our oldest child is proof I was a minor when I became pregnant and I have proof of other relationships hes had with minors. in his motions the HE submitted to the courts he claimed obsurd things such as all 3 of my kids are being molested and we live in a sex dungeon with the kids. I could go on but its too much. over 150 pages hes submitted claiming all types of stuff, repeatedly talking about me in certain sexual positions. it read like a soft porn to be frank. its disgusting to read. he claims I tell my daughter he will have sex with her. I don't know how to approach court about al this craziness. can they terminate his rights? mental evaluation?

 

[Alesia55]

That question was asked of you BEFORE your second post/edit to your first post that gave some actual information.

Are you actively hiding the children from their father? Are there any current custody orders ...if so what state?

im more concerned with his innapropriate behaviors hes subjecting children too and dating girls only 7 years his childs senior. As a 37 year old man he has preyed on 16-17 year old girls including myself and I don't know if the courts will take stuff like that into consideration. he has had stalking orders from 2 women and hes had domestic. he has tried to alienate the children and tell them I didn't love them etc and has subjected the kids to certain situations that is not appropriate for children such as telling his sons sexual positions hes had girls in or different places he has had sex. He is most CERTAINLY a predator and continues to get away with it. our oldest child is proof I was a minor when I became pregnant and I have proof of other relationships hes had with minors. in his motions the HE submitted to the courts he claimed obsurd things such as all 3 of my kids are being molested and we live in a sex dungeon with the kids. I could go on but its too much. over 150 pages hes submitted claiming all types of stuff, repeatedly talking about me in certain sexual positions. it read like a soft porn to be frank. its disgusting to read. he claims I tell my daughter he will have sex with her. I don't know how to approach court about al this craziness. can they terminate his rights? mental evaluation?

 

[LdiJ]

no we were never married and im applying for sole custody. im more concerned with his innapropriate behaviors hes subjecting children too and dating girls only 7 years his childs senior. As a 37 year old man he has preyed on 16-17 year old girls including myself and I don't know if the courts will take stuff like that into consideration. he has had stalking orders from 2 women and hes had domestic. he has tried to alienate the children and tell them I didn't love them etc and has subjected the kids to certain situations that is not appropriate for children such as telling his sons sexual positions hes had girls in or different places he has had sex. He is most CERTAINLY a predator and continues to get away with it. our oldest child is proof I was a minor when I became pregnant and I have proof of other relationships hes had with minors. in his motions the HE submitted to the courts he claimed obsurd things such as all 3 of my kids are being molested and we live in a sex dungeon with the kids. I could go on but its too much. over 150 pages hes submitted claiming all types of stuff, repeatedly talking about me in certain sexual positions. it read like a soft porn to be frank. its disgusting to read. he claims I tell my daughter he will have sex with her. I don't know how to approach court about al this craziness. can they terminate his rights? mental evaluation?

Do you have an attorney? If not, I really recommend that you hire one. If you do have an attorney you should be discussing these matters with your attorney.

However, I can tell you that if he has submitted 150 pages of real off the wall stuff, then you might not even have to ask for a psych evaluation, the judge may just order one on his/her own.

 

[Alesia55]

Do you have an attorney? If not, I really recommend that you hire one. If you do have an attorney you should be discussing these matters with your attorney.

However, I can tell you that if he has submitted 150 pages of real off the wall stuff, then you might not even have to ask for a psych evaluation, the judge may just order one on his/her own.

no attorney which is why I am here on this forum unfortunately. I have two other children in addition to our three he doesn't support so its not doable. I cant get a free lawyer unless charges are criminal

 

[stealth2]

Here are some problems I see.... First, Age of Consent in NH is 16. So, he really wasn't doing anything (legally) "wrong" with regard to impregnating you. I don't know what proof you think you have wrt his sexual activity w/other minors, but anything short of convictions won't do much for you. Unless you have incontrovertible proof that the girls were under 16. This raises the question of why you didn't report it. As for "inappropriate" comments to the children - how you became aware of those comments & the children's ages at the time will come into play. Generally speaking, if the kids told you and you tell the judge, it would be considered hearsay and inadmissible. This is why they would have needed to tell someone else - a mandated reporter (such as a teacher, administrator, counselor, doctor, etc.) at the time it happened.

Your best bet, IMO, would be to request a psych eval - but know that is often ordered for both parents and the expense at least split between you. If he has a lawyer, it would not surprise me to have you ordered to pay. Asking for a step-up period of supervised parenting time as well as rehabilitative therapy for him/the children would be prudent requests.

But I honestly think you're in over your head.

If you/your kids aren't in therapy? I'd recommend it. Many states provide a sliding scale payment option. Social Services would be able to help you locate someone (though it may be wise to leave it at your kids could use counseling due to the reappearance of their father after years - leave out the salacious commentary...).

Best of luck.

 

[Alesia55]

Here are some problems I see.... First, Age of Consent in NH is 16. So, he really wasn't doing anything (legally) "wrong" with regard to impregnating you. I don't know what proof you think you have wrt his sexual activity w/other minors, but anything short of convictions won't do much for you. Unless you have incontrovertible proof that the girls were under 16. This raises the question of why you didn't report it. As for "inappropriate" comments to the children - how you became aware of those comments & the children's ages at the time will come into play. Generally speaking, if the kids told you and you tell the judge, it would be considered hearsay and inadmissible. This is why they would have needed to tell someone else - a mandated reported (such as a teacher, administrator, counselor, doctor, etc.) at the time it happened.

Your best bet, IMO, would be to request a psych eval - but know that is often ordered for both parents and the expense at least split between you. If he has a lawyer, it would not surprise me to have you ordered to pay. Asking for a step-up period of supervised parenting time as well as rehabilitative therapy for him/the children would be prudent requests.

But I honestly think you're in over your head.

If you/your kids aren't in therapy? I'd recommend it. Many states provide a sliding scale payment option. Social Services would be able to help you locate someone (though it may be wise to leave it at your kids could use counseling due to the reappearance of their father after years - leave out the salacious commentary...).

Best of luck.

I was in florida when I was impregnated and he was in new York and Florida with the other minor girls. he lives in florida currently as well. I thought the other girls looked young but I didn't know ages until my kids brought it to my attention that they celebrated said girls 18th birthday. there are no court mandated places for supervised visits in the state of new Hampshire as I have already requested it. I put the kids in therapy awhile and ago I cant report something he hid and he made the kids lie about it most I can do is mention it to show his character. He has sent me messages admitting being with her etc but he claimed she was 19. he was the manager where she worked and knew her age. my kids ages are 12,10,8 and with that being said my 12 year old has seen and heard the most and suffers from ptsd from his own father.
the whole reason new Hampshire plays a big role in this was because I'm originally from here and have been raising our children out here for over 7 years. I fled Florida with my two children back in 2009 and we have basically been here since. how can my kids report something they didn't know was wrong? they just notified me not even 2 weeks ago of some new stuff. I understand anybody can walk into a court room and make things up because he's doing it to me but the difference is that I can back my claims. I feel like I'm over my head because this story is almost unbelievable. I'm ok with being investigated but i'm not sure if all these things will open the door for an investigation regarding him. I have tried calling social services on myself to start an investigation but was told they cant do that. this trial has gone on 18 months and the final hearing is this month. He has never come up for one visit regarding the kids nor one hearing. judge HAS taken notice to certain behaviors but im just not sure it will be enough. I wasn't sure if I would be able to request a psych evaluation.