Contempt?

[StepMomInGA]

What is the name of your state?GA

Let me give you some backround on this issue first...

My step son has been living with me and his dad for almost 2 years. He does not see his mom all too often. In the past 6 months my SS told me that right before he moved down here with us, he asked his mom "Why did you and daddy get divorced?" She said, "Because he slapped me." My SS couldn't remember if she said slapped or choked. Well, we let him know that's not true, and that his dad would never do something like that. We also told him that there are some things that children should not know, like the "real" reason why parents get divorced because it make make your feeling towards the other parent sour. When SS always asked his dad the same question, he just always said "it just didn't work out", my husband never told his son that "your mom couldn't stop having sex with different guys while we were married" It just wouldn't be right..

Well, my ss just came back from visitation with his mom for the summer. He told me that he asked her if his daddy really slapped her, he told me that she said" Yes, he tried to kill me." I couldn't believe she actually had the balls to say that to him..
What should my husband do? Should he send a certified letter to her letting her know that he will turn her in for contempt if she does anything like this again? It states in the custody papers "The parties shall refrain from making derogatory or disparaging remarks against the other party in presence of the minor child and shall not malign the other party to the minor child."

These are all lies, they are things that did not happen. I've been with my husband for 7 years and he's never tried to lay a hand on me. I think if someone tried to "kill" me, I'd at least fill out a police report!

 

[stealth2]

And how does Dad intend to prove that Mom said these things? When all he has is teh word of the child? Does he intend to have the kid testify against his mother?

 

[StepMomInGA]

No, his dad would not have him testify against her in court. I guess his intent of the certified letter would be to tell her to back off with comments to my SS with hope that she does. What CAN you do in this type of situation?
Honestly, I think there is no hope for this woman at all!

 

[stealth2]

Frankly? Not much. A wiser course of action would be for Dad to tell the boy when this sort of thing comes up that the reasons for the divorce are many and varied - and are grown-up reasons which did not involve the child. That everyone sees the same thing from a different perspective, and sometimes people say things they don't mean when they're angry, upset, etc. Lather, rinse, repeat.

And, to be honest, you really shouldn't be in the middle of those conversations. You were not part of THAT marriage, and you only have the one side of it. If he asks you, you should refer him to his father.

 

[StepMomInGA]

Thanks! I really think if my husband DID sent a letter, it would just open up an whole new can of worms. We're also afraid that she'll get my ss involved even more than what his is now.

 

[kat1963]

There is an old saying that goes "When someone talks bad about you live so no one believes them." It will all come out in the end, just give it some time...trust me.
KAT