Could a Learning Center be considered private school or after school fees?

[2Mistakes]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MS

3 children. I have full physical custody, mom and I share joint legal.

Our court order states:
"(Me) and (Her) shall equally pay all private school tuition costs, lunch fees, after school fees, and enrollment fees on behalf of their minor children."

Here's the situation:

Our 6 year old son is in 1st grade, and he is struggling with reading, to the point that if we don't do something, he is going to fail first grade. His teacher has just kept telling me to help him out at home everytime I contact her about this problem.

I've been doing that, 2 to 3 hours per night, every night. No improvement. I'm just not a teacher.

I contacted the school district earlier in the year and set him up with a tutor. She saw him once, and then we never heard from her again. I found out that she had quit. She was the only county tutor for 1st grade.

I continued trying to work with his teacher (who has the personality of a slug), and I just couldn't get any help from her. All she would tell me was to work with him at home.

So last week, I by-passed the teacher and contacted the vice principal.

She referrred me to Huntington Learning Center. (It is very similar to Sylvan, if you've not heard of Huntington.)

So I took our soon this past Saturday to Huntington for his diagnostic testing, and I went back today for the results.

As I expected, he scored very low in reading and phonics.

In order to get him where he needs to be, he needs 4 hours at the center per week, at a rate of $55 per hour. That comes to $880 per month.

Granted, that's a lot of money, but it's an important investment in our son's future. We have got to get this boy reading.

So I emailed the x-wife about it today, explained everything, and asked if this is something she can/will split with me, and her response was, "Let him fail. He can just go to summer school for free."

I guess she doesn't see that because he can not read, he will fail that as well.

She and I happen to work for the same company (we are both independent contractors), and the company publishes a weekly report of number of claims worked by adjuster. Since I know what the commission rate is, I know how much she's making, and she's making more than me. And I'm making a damn good amount! So I know it's not because of lack of funds, unless she is just really mismanaging her money.

Now going back to what my court order says above, could this learning center be considered a form of private school, or could these be considered after school fees. If you notice, the order does not say after school CARE fees, just after school fees. And he will be going here after school.

Am I grasping at straws trying to get the learning center to fit into something in our order that she has to pay 1/2 for? Or could I have a really good argument for contempt if she refuses to pay 1/2?

Thanks!

 

[Ohiogal]

I think you have a good case to get child support adjusted so that mom has to pay this for the child as it is a need that benefits him. If she won't pay take her back to court and get it ordered that she pay.

 

[2Mistakes]

I think you have a good case to get child support adjusted so that mom has to pay this for the child as it is a need that benefits him. If she won't pay take her back to court and get it ordered that she pay.

What kind of action would this be? My immediate thought was contempt of the court order. But now I'm thinking that this would be a modification of the order.

She has a bad habit of trying to make everything be about her, and this is soooooo not about her. This is about our son. If we don't get him on the right path, he is going to struggle through the rest of his school years. Reading is just too important to let this slip through the cracks.

Would that be the argument that I need to make to the judge IF this ended up in court? I'm really hoping that she will step-up and not turn this into a court proceeding. She has moved to MI, so I doubt she wants to have to come back to MS for court.

She is still paying the court-ordered $300 per month for CS (which is fine, as that's what is ordered), and we have put our court case on hold to try to work something out. She says that she is in the process of filing her taxes, and once she has them prepared, she'll see what 22% of her AGI is. At that point, I'll have to decide if I think she's being truthful about what her income is, and if so, she and I are going to enter a stipulated agreement for the judge to sign into an order. However, I think she is dragging her feet on that, and if the past is any indication of the future, she will continue to do so.

So, I'm thinking that if she continues to balk about paying for 1/2 of the learning center fees, I'll need to file a modification action, asking for child support to be increased based upon either 1.) her income; or 2.) an imputed income, which an attorney has already told me I have a good argument for. (Remember, MS doesn't imputer income as a rule, but there is a lot of supporting case law that I was researched.)

In that filing, should I also ask that she be ordered to pay for 1/2 of our son's learning center fees, as it is in his best interests?

 

[Ohiogal]

It would be a modification of child support due to the extraordinary expenses of Junior.

 

[2Mistakes]

It would be a modification of child support due to the extraordinary expenses of Junior.

Aha.

Would that still be appropriate even though it's going to be a relatively short-term extraordinary expense?

His plan at the learning center covers March, April, and May. The director is confident that by the middle of May, he will be where he needs to be, based upon his testing, and the plan they put together.

 

[CJane]

Aha.

Would that still be appropriate even though it's going to be a relatively short-term extraordinary expense?

His plan at the learning center covers March, April, and May. The director is confident that by the middle of May, he will be where he needs to be, based upon his testing, and the plan they put together.

Might I make a suggestion that you keep him in the center through summer, just so he's well ahead of where he needs to be when school starts next year? Kids already lose information over the summer.

Make a 6 month plan and then reevaluate.

 

[2Mistakes]

OK, I found the following statute for MS:

SEC. 43-19-103. Criteria for overcoming presumption that guidelines are appropriate.

The rebuttable presumption as to the justness or appropriateness of an award or modification of a child support award in this state, based upon the guidelines established by Section 43-19-101, may be overcome by a judicial or administrative body awarding or modifying the child support award by making a written finding or specific finding on the record that the application of the guidelines would be unjust or inappropriate in a particular case as determined according to the following criteria:

(a) Extraordinary medical, psychological, educational or dental expenses.

(b) Independent income of the child.

(c) The payment of both child support and spousal support to the obligee.

(d) Seasonal variations in one or both parents' incomes or expenses.

(e) The age of the child, taking into account the greater needs of older children.

(f) Special needs that have traditionally been met within the family budget even though the fulfilling of those needs will cause the support to exceed the proposed guidelines.

(g) The particular shared parental arrangement, such as where the noncustodial parent spends a great deal of time with the children thereby reducing the financial expenditures incurred by the custodial parent, or the refusal of the noncustodial parent to become involved in the activities of the child, or giving due consideration to the custodial parent's homemaking services.

(h) Total available assets of the obligee, obligor and the child.

(i) Any other adjustment which is needed to achieve an equitable result which may include, but not be limited to, a reasonable and necessary existing expense or debt.

I believe that factors (a), (e), (g), and possibly (h) apply in our case, and here is why:

(a) Obviously Junior now has extraordinary education expenses. Juniorette (12 y/o daughter) now needs braces as well, and not just for cosmetic purposes. She has 2 rows of teeth on top. Ex-wife says braces aren't necessary and won't pay. Unfortunately, our order (done in 2003, when I didn't have an attorney) only says that we must split non-covered medical expenses, and doesn't list dental or orthodontic. So she refuses to pay for any of the braces. So I'm going to have that extraordinary expense coming up as well.

(e) I've never thought of bringing this up, but if I'm going to go for it, why not throw in everything including the kitchen sink, right? Our 2 oldest children are now 15 and 12, and they have definately gotten more expensive since 2003, when they were 9 and 6.

(g) I can prove that for 2008, she did not see or have the kids January through May, even though she lived only 2 hours away. During that time, I would ask her every other weekend if she was going to have them, and she would reply that she couldn't, and didn't know when she would see them again. She might have spoken to them a handful of times during that time. Then she had them May 23 - July 3rd. I got them back on July 3rd, and she did not see them again until December 19th. She had them December 19th - December 26th. I got them back on December 26th, and she hasn't seen them since. I'm not sure when the next time she will see them will. She is supposed to have them May 22 - June 26, but she emailed today that she doesn't know if she can get them this summer.

So anyways, my point is that I have increased costs because I have them about 90% of the time, sometimes more, depending on what Her Highness feels like doing.

(h) I believe that she has a lot of assets in her name. She has told my wife that the 6 Harleys that are her boyfriends are in her name because he has problems with the IRS. I believe that she also has several of his houses in her name, for the same reason, as well as his business. I don't have proof of these things, however.

So, am I on the right track with this? Are these the arguments I would make to the judge, and back them up with evidence?

 

[wileybunch]

Has an IEP been discussed? You an advocate that your child be tested. If he has some learning difficulties, he can be receiving services through the public schools to address his needs.

 

[2Mistakes]

Has an IEP been discussed? You an advocate that your child be tested. If he has some learning difficulties, he can be receiving services through the public schools to address his needs.

I was told by the vice principal that he doesn't qualify, as "he does not appear to have a learning disability." "It appears that he did not get the basics he needed in kindergarten."

Which I actually believe. His K teacher treated it like pre-school, and I don't feel that she gave the kids what they needed. There were only 4 kids total in that class (he was at a private school for K, and is now in public school), and I wonder how the other 3 are doing now, but I'm not sure where they and their parents are to find out.

I sometimes wonder if he is possibly dyslexic, but I was told that he can not be tested for that until he is at least 7, which will be next school year

 

[2Mistakes]

Might I make a suggestion that you keep him in the center through summer, just so he's well ahead of where he needs to be when school starts next year? Kids already lose information over the summer.

Make a 6 month plan and then reevaluate.

I am 100% with you on this suggestion, and the center reccomended it as well.

However, by court order, his mom is to have him from when school gets out on May 22nd until June 26th.

If I can work this out financially, either via an agreement with his mom, or via the court, I fully intend to have him resume when he comes home in July, and continue for the rest of the summer, and on into the beginning of 2nd grade, when we can see if he is where he needs to be.

 

[wileybunch]

I was told by the vice principal that he doesn't qualify, as "he does not appear to have a learning disability." "It appears that he did not get the basics he needed in kindergarten."

Schools aren't quick to do testing or even suggest testing is needed even when it clearly is. I don't know why, but this is very typical.

I sometimes wonder if he is possibly dyslexic, but I was told that he can not be tested for that until he is at least 7, which will be next school year

Not true:
NCLD - Testing for Dyslexia
What Is Dyslexia - NYBIDA.org New York Branch of The International Dyslexia Association

 

[CJane]

Not true:
NCLD - Testing for Dyslexia
What Is Dyslexia - NYBIDA.org New York Branch of The International Dyslexia Association

That doesn't mean that the SCHOOL DISTRICT will do testing prior to age 7. Things like this definitely vary by district/state.

 

[2Mistakes]

That doesn't mean that the SCHOOL DISTRICT will do testing prior to age 7. Things like this definitely vary by district/state.

I should have been more clear because this is what I meant. Our district doesn't do dyslexia testing until at least age 7. That's what the vp meant when she said he can't be evaluated for it yet. The district (and maybe state?) won't allow it.

 

[CJane]

I should have been more clear because this is what I meant. Our district doesn't do dyslexia testing until at least age 7. That's what the vp meant when she said he can't be evaluated for it yet. The district (and maybe state?) won't allow it.

Yeah, there are certain 'milestones' that a child is supposed to reach by very specific ages... and they won't test early.

For example, both Wild and Unruly had issues w/the Z/S sound. They were evaluated w/in weeks of turning 7 and put into speech class.

I KNEW long before Unruly was 7 that she'd be in speech - she had exactly the same issues with the sound that Wild had. But we had to wait til she was 7 for the school to take action.

You'll have to do the same... sucks sometimes, but it's WAY better than a mis-diagnosis because they tested too early. You don't need your child labeled forever.

 

[wileybunch]

Going to disagree because speech issues with forming certain letters is a whole different ballgame and early intervention is not indicated because it often resolves with age and if it's not causing other issues such as emotional, no hurting in waiting. With dyslexia early intervention IS recommended, but 2Mistakes, if you suspect there might be something to that, there are things you can do now to help him learn in a way that works better for him.