Hooboy, okay, that was something else.
I contacted the law firm suing me and the woman I spoke with told me, "I could apply for Charity Care," but that it likely won't be approved for the reason that I'm being sued by the physicians that work for the hospital in the emergency department and not the hospital itself, and something about the date of service being from 2014 and how they (the E.R. physicians) already assigned the debt collection to them, I'd likely not qualify.
She explained if I were to move for dismissal I'd have to pay a $20 court fee in addition to the full cost of what they're asking, which is around $4500. No payment plans, nothing lower. She started to get a little snarky when she brought up my husband and his job, basically trying to make me feel bad for not paying them in a lump sum, to which I informed her I was homeless at that time and they knew it. I followed that up with something along the lines of, "I hear that you made communication with my husband, but I'm the one talking to you now and this conversation is for my benefit in efforts to work as peacefully and civil as possible with you right now on this phone call." For whatever that was worth, she did change tones and become a little easier to communicate with.