Court ordered visit

[Can'tSeemToWin]

What is the name of your state? Daughter is in Massachusetts, Father lives in NC. My husband has a court order stating that his daughter will come to visit in February. He is supposed to pay for the flight, we have arranged the flight and the Mother is stating that the daughter doesn't like the fact that there is a layover on the return flight home. Unfortunately, this is the best we could do. I reminded her that it was court ordered for my husbands daughter to visit and that if she didn't they would be in contempt. The mother stated that they would not be in contempt if it had to do with the safety of a minor. The child is 16 1/2 years old, she will be almost 17 when she is supposed to come and visit.

 

[Same_sht_DD]

What is the name of your state? Daughter is in Massachusetts, Father lives in NC. My husband has a court order stating that his daughter will come to visit in February. He is supposed to pay for the flight, we have arranged the flight and the Mother is stating that the daughter doesn't like the fact that there is a layover on the return flight home.Unfortunately, this is the best we could do. I reminded her that it was court ordered for my husbands daughter to visit and that if she didn't they would be in contempt. The mother stated that they would not be in contempt if it had to do with the safety of a minor. The child is 16 1/2 years old, she will be almost 17 when she is supposed to come and visit.

I say Mamma bear is out of luck.

Dad is abiding by the CO.

A 16 (almost 17) year old is more than capable of handling and navigating a layover.

What is Mamma's concern of safety?

 

[Can'tSeemToWin]

the lenght of the layover, it's 3 hours but the daughter has to change planes. We agree it's not the best choice but it is what was available.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Daughter is in Massachusetts, Father lives in NC. My husband has a court order stating that his daughter will come to visit in February. He is supposed to pay for the flight, we have arranged the flight and the Mother is stating that the daughter doesn't like the fact that there is a layover on the return flight home. Unfortunately, this is the best we could do. I reminded her that it was court ordered for my husbands daughter to visit and that if she didn't they would be in contempt. The mother stated that they would not be in contempt if it had to do with the safety of a minor. The child is 16 1/2 years old, she will be almost 17 when she is supposed to come and visit.

Unless the court order specifies flights are to be non-stop, then Mom is out of luck on this one. She's in contempt. Perhaps if the child was younger, this could be a valid concern (or lack of $ to pay an escort on the flight)- it would be appropriate...but a 16 1/2 year old can take a flight with a layover.

 

[StickyFingers]

Unless the court order specifies flights are to be non-stop, then Mom is out of luck on this one. She's in contempt. Perhaps if the child was younger, this could be a valid concern (or lack of $ to pay an escort on the flight)- it would be appropriate...but a 16 1/2 year old can take a flight with a layover.

I agree with 'Same'....A 16 year old girl can keep up with multiple things.....boys, friends....boyfriends..

A layover (even if 3 hours) shouldn't be a problem, especially if she is educated about layovers and what to do.(If she never encountered one before)

Hell, 16 year olds know everything....

 

[Can'tSeemToWin]

I agree with 'Same'....A 16 year old girl can keep up with multiple things.....boys, friends....boyfriends..

A layover (even if 3 hours) shouldn't be a problem, especially if she is educated about layovers and what to do.(If she never encountered one before)

Hell, 16 year olds know everything....

If you only knew how true your statement about 16 year olds is...

Thank you both for your replies, I appreciate it.

 

[Can'tSeemToWin]

Unless the court order specifies flights are to be non-stop, then Mom is out of luck on this one. She's in contempt. Perhaps if the child was younger, this could be a valid concern (or lack of $ to pay an escort on the flight)- it would be appropriate...but a 16 1/2 year old can take a flight with a layover.

Thank you!

 

[VA_Mom]

I reminded her that it was court ordered for my husbands daughter to visit and that if she didn't they would be in contempt.

Just an FYI and a way to keep the peace...have Dad tell her next time that she would be in contempt. It keeps down some of the friction and will look better in court in the event your husband would need to file for contempt which he should if the CP does not realize real quick that her concerns are invalid.

 

[LdiJ]

The only thing that I can think of that would make mom's/daughter's concerns valid is if the layover/plane change requires a change in terminal.

That can be pretty complicated....I missed a connecting flight once due to that.

 

[stealth2]

How is this at all different from your other thread on this same topic from the other week? https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=297338

 

[VA_Mom]

How is this at all different from your other thread on this same topic from the other week? https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=297338

Sounds like you are a meddlesome stepmom now. Save the sob story about the stepdaughter not talking to your husband. That is between the both of them and do something like prepare her room for when she visits instead of fretting over things that your husband, her legal biological parent, should be dealing with and trying to throw your weight around by telling bio mom and grandmom that they will be in contempt. Your husband is no longer 16 and if he can't talk to his ex and THEIR daughter maybe they should attend family counseling to deal with this situation. Yeah yeah yeah bio mom is starting all the problems but you knew she was alive before you married him so it comes with the territory and remaining a neutral party will do more good than telling her she will be in contempt.

They need to have a clause in custody orders about meddlesome, controlling stepparents and bf/gf.

 

[stealth2]

I do think it's time for Dad to grow a pair and deal with Mom himself.

 

[Can'tSeemToWin]

I do think it's time for Dad to grow a pair and deal with Mom himself.

I'm not looking for a fight here, It is different than my last thread because the mother Instant messaged ME last night stating that my stepdaughter would not be coming because of the layover and that she checked and said that if it has to do with the safety of a minor then she won't be in contempt.

And trust me as far as Dad growing a pair and dealing with mom himself, he has. He has dealt with her for 16 and a half years and this is not a nice woman.

Do me a favor the next time before you jump down my throat and maybe get more information. I was only looking for advice, I'm just a wife that is trying to look for information for my husband. And a stepmother who loves her stepdaughter. I'm not a meddlesome stepmother, like I said in the beginning of the message, the mother IM'd me last night, I did not contact her.

 

[Can'tSeemToWin]

Sounds like you are a meddlesome stepmom now. Save the sob story about the stepdaughter not talking to your husband. That is between the both of them and do something like prepare her room for when she visits instead of fretting over things that your husband, her legal biological parent, should be dealing with and trying to throw your weight around by telling bio mom and grandmom that they will be in contempt. Your husband is no longer 16 and if he can't talk to his ex and THEIR daughter maybe they should attend family counseling to deal with this situation. Yeah yeah yeah bio mom is starting all the problems but you knew she was alive before you married him so it comes with the territory and remaining a neutral party will do more good than telling her she will be in contempt.

They need to have a clause in custody orders about meddlesome, controlling stepparents and bf/gf.

I really find your reply to my post inappropriate, like I said to Stealth, I'm not looking for a fight. I am not a meddlesome stepparent, I have stayed out of this. Again if you do not know what is going on how can you judge someone. As for the daughter not talking to the father, he can't control that. He has tried and she won't talk to him.

As for the biological mother and knowing that she was alive when I met him yes that is true but, the mother had absolutely NOTHING to do with her daughter when I met my husband. It is only since my stepdaughter turned 15 that the mother has become interested in her again.

 

[Mbarr77]

I really find your reply to my post inappropriate, like I said to Stealth, I'm not looking for a fight. I am not a meddlesome stepparent, I have stayed out of this. Again if you do not know what is going on how can you judge someone. As for the daughter not talking to the father, he can't control that. He has tried and she won't talk to him.

As for the biological mother and knowing that she was alive when I met him yes that is true but, the mother had absolutely NOTHING to do with her daughter when I met my husband. It is only since my stepdaughter turned 15 that the mother has become interested in her again.

Not jumping down your throat, just asking a question here. Does the bio-mom have custody? If so, how could she not have had anything to do with the child until she was 15?