CP jailed, plan B?

[paterunum]

Perhaps my main two points (besides the biggest question of "do I have better chances at temp. custody now?")
1. Can they really hold me in contempt because I was three hours late due to weather conditions (again wheather reports available, including the shutting down of one of the interstate highways toward my destination).

2. Does CP, and only CP have the right to determine the "upbringing" (by that I include all about education, value system, opinions, etc.) of the child? With or without Joint management (and we do have JMC), shouldn't the NCP express his opinions to the child and give him another point of view? (and actually in my case, I was just dealing with sheer ignorance of a child raised according to very strict religious values).

 

[CJane]

Perhaps my main two points (besides the biggest question of "do I have better chances at temp. custody now?")
1. Can they really hold me in contempt because I was three hours late due to weather conditions (again wheather reports available, including the shutting down of one of the interstate highways toward my destination).

Possibly, if Mom can show that you KNEW the storm was approaching and CHOSE to be late/possibly not be able to make the trip at all rather than leaving a little early and beating the storm.

2. Does CP, and only CP have the right to determine the "upbringing" (by that I include all about education, value system, opinions, etc.) of the child? With or without Joint management (and we do have JMC), shouldn't the NCP express his opinions to the child and give him another point of view? (and actually in my case, I was just dealing with sheer ignorance of a child raised according to very strict religious values).

Technically, no. HOWEVER, it CAN be seen as detrimental to a child this young, whom you have NO relationship with (really, you don't, and that IS a big deal, no matter how you try to gloss over it), to go so totally against his upbringing (whether strictly religious or strictly atheist) and "inform" him as you chose to.

Think about it. Let's say you're totally and completely atheist. You choose to tell your child that God is a lie, that there is no proof of his existence, and that EVERYONE knows this. He's believed that since birth, essentially, and he's now of school age. And then someone in a position of authority, someone who is attempting to have a positive and permanent place in the child's life, takes him off to a place he's isolated from you, he's around people he doesn't know at all, he's trying to figure out his place in this whole weird scheme and that person decides to sit him down and explain to him that not only is God NOT a lie, but God is, in fact all powerful and angry at him for not believing in him.

Think it's in the kids' best interests?

 

[paterunum]

1. We went to court: Judge dismissed the "late arrival" after we presented enough evidence that the weather did not permit travel (the only way to "beat the storm" would have been to leave on Dec. 24 and either spend 2 nights at hotels away from my family celebrations, or return the child two days early - regardless of how it went, for future reference, what is a reasonable deal in cases like this: due to weather or other out of control circumstances, missing xmas or other important events with dad returning him early, or being a couple of hours late?).

2. CP was found in contempt for two violations, but the judge did not feel she had to be committed to jail time. He suspended the sentence and put her on probation again. One more violation and it will be automatic.

3. Issue of temporary or permanent custody was postponed to final hearing.

4. Your point about values. I did not want to confuse the child's mind. As I said, this came up as a matter of knowledge. The child did not know about dinosaurs. A 4 yr old showed him a book of pre-historical animals, neanderthals etc. I told him that those creatures were in this world before human beings. I did NOT tell him that God does not exist, and even more, I did not tell him "that's how it is (about religion)." And this conversation about dinosaurs came up by accident, not staged. What his current caregiver and I argued about is whether he should be imparted this knowledge or not, whether I can tell him "that's how I see it, but you can figure it out on your own later." (and I haven't even done that yet).

My current lady was raised at that age being sent to church, learning about evolution, learning at least what other religions were out there (not their exact doctrines), etc. And she did just fine. Aren't most children raised that way? And, as I stated, yes, I was just faced with ignorance. My child can be christian, he can be atheist, or anything else, but not from sheer ignorance. The only principle I teach him as a firm belief is tolerance. CP (and caregiver) are intolerant, and my fear is that he might turn out that way too.

But you're saying that minimal contact is the issue here. So, do you suggest that I make my points very gradually, and with time? Isn't this a crucial age when the child forms his worldview? I am reading literature on this matter.