CPS took husband's child from mother.... advice?

[hire21618]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/question-on-calculator.658688/


I thought you and hub's were getting a divorce?

AFAIK, unless Mom's rights to *this* child are terminated, her consent will still be needed. The termination of her rights to the other children may weigh against her favor should Dad file to have her rights terminated wrt his child.

ETA: If you are divorcing Dad, a step-parent adoption would not be in the child's best interests.

No, we are still together. We came close to looking into divorce when I made that post. We realized we were both under severe stress that was affecting our relationship. We have since started going to therapy together as well as me doing individual and things are much better and improving every day.

Stealth, thank you for the input. I was trying to read the law on it but it can be confusing. That makes sense. As I understand it, her rights will not be terminated as my husband is a capable parent. Is that correct?

 

[stealth2]

I can't see how it would be allowed.

I suspect the court would deny an adoption. Assuming it is informed. Assuming @hire21618 's stbx knows she's considering a divorce.

 

[stealth2]

Stealth, thank you for the input. I was trying to read the law on it but it can be confusing. That makes sense. As I understand it, her rights will not be terminated as my husband is a capable parent. Is that correct?

No. He could be awarded sole physical and legal custody. I would strongly discourage the notion of a stepparent adoption until your marriage remains stable for at least a year. I'd suggest longer.

 

[hire21618]

No. He could be awarded sole physical and legal custody. I would strongly discourage the notion of a stepparent adoption until your marriage remains stable for at least a year. I'd suggest longer.

Thank you. I agree with that advice; we're working hard on stability. The adoption was just something we're just discussing as a possibility down the line, and I just wanted some more information. I really hope the mom is able to improve her life for the sake of her kids.

 

[LdiJ]

Hello!

I wanted to provide an update and ask a couple questions just out of curiousity.

My husband and I currently have placement of his daughter in a trial home visit. They just had court on April 8 and DCS, GAL, and judge all agree to change custody to my husband. Since the mother isn't in agreement with this, they schedule court on August 7th to hold a custody trial.

Mother has two younger children that are still living with kinship placement. At this time, neither of the dads is available for a custody change. According to the GAL, if mother continues to make no progress, the next step is termination of mother's rights.

I'm wondering if that does happen and her rights are terminated for the younger two, does that qualify as a reason to not need consent in a step-parent adoption? At this point, we are holding out hope that mother will get her act together, but she continues to put herself in domestic violence situations and still has no job or house of her own. If we decided to pursue a stepparent adoption, the plan would be to still allow communication between mother and stepdaughter. The plan would be to just make sure she is provided for and taken care of should anything happen to my husband, god forbid.

Thanks again for all initial help with this and any advice going forward. This forum is much appreciated!

Unless the court involuntarily terminates mom's right to that specific child, her consent would still be needed.

 

[hire21618]

Just wanted to provide an update per Blue's suggestion!

Mom started a relationship again with her husband, who refuses to comply with DCS. Mom jumps from job to job, and has not progressed passed supervised visits with any of the kids after 1.5 years. We found out in July that my stepdaughter is developmentally delayed, so have started lots of therapies and counseling. Mom refused to provide a medical/family medical history, and this among other reasons made the GAL recommend my husband get primary physical and sole legal custody.

DCS filed for change of custody in August. Shortly after mom hired a private attorney and they were fighting for joint legal. They scheduled a contested hearing on October 2, with the hopes that mom and my husband could come to an agreement prior to that.

They did come to an agreement and it was signed by both parents and filed Monday! Husband has primary physical custody, mom has supervised visits. Joint legal custody, but my husband has final say. Mom pays child support. No contact with mom's husband or father (who started this whole thing) is allowed by any means whatsoever. Any change in custody requires an investigation by DCS and the GAL on mom.

Stepdaughter is doing so well. She's been in regular counseling since June and learning that it's safe to have emotions, as well as how to express them. She started occupational therapy and speech therapy officially last night. We see changes more and more every day that she's getting comfortable and making progress.

Thank you for all your help and advice!

EDIT: changed 'officially signed' to 'signed by both parents and filed'

 

[Zigner]

They did come to an agreement and it was officially signed Monday!

"Signed" by whom, specifically?

 

[hire21618]

"Signed" by whom, specifically?

I updated my post. I didn't see that officially makes it sound like the judge signed when I first posted. Mom signed Friday, dad signed Monday and it was filed Monday.

 

[Ohiogal]

Congratulations to your husband and stepdaughter.