CS/Visitation PA

[stealth2]

Child support is retroactive to day of filing (in PA). If we have no agreement- I do plan to file when child is born.

You can legally ignore your parenting obligation to your child but not financial.

ONLY with a married couple/legally established paternity. Otherwise, it is up to the judge how far CS goes back. And if it IS ordered back to filing? It will not be in a lump sum. Rather, most likely tacked on to the monthly current support amount - and not a huge amount/mo.

 

[SunshineMama]

You don't have the first clue.

We both have good income. It would be ordered as a lump sum, not spread out over months.
As I said we did meet with an attorney months ago who explained this as worse case if we went through courts/could not agree.
We were advised to try use a mediator and reach an agreement.

My questions were just to see if things I wanted were reasonable for the agreement

 

[SunshineMama]

ONLY with a married couple/legally established paternity. Otherwise, it is up to the judge how far CS goes back. And if it IS ordered back to filing? It will not be in a lump sum. Rather, most likely tacked on to the monthly current support amount - and not a huge amount/mo.

So I guess according to you,
You can get someone pregnant. Not be happy with their decisions and decide to go to another country.
Not be involved at all with newborn/baby. Not be able to be served paperwork.
Once served deny paternity. When paternity is proven --- file 50/50 custody, and then start paying CS.
AND owe nothing for the months since mother filed (guessing up to 5 months-- 3 away, 2 in legal system)

Glad I don't live in those states...

 

[stealth2]

So I guess according to you,
You can get someone pregnant.

Well THAT would be a miraculous conception, little one!

To have an enforceable agreement, it must be - *gasp* wait for it - signed by a judge, thus making it a court order, binding on both parties and enforceable.

How old are you two? 'Cause you sound ~15, trying to be 25. Stomping your feet as you are.

 

[LdiJ]

So I guess according to you,
You can get someone pregnant. Not be happy with their decisions and decide to go to another country.
Not be involved at all with newborn/baby. Not be able to be served paperwork.
Once served deny paternity. When paternity is proven --- file 50/50 custody, and then start paying CS.
AND owe nothing for the months since mother filed (guessing up to 5 months-- 3 away, 2 in legal system)

Glad I don't live in those states...

That is true for every state in the country, including yours. Its possible that CS can be ordered retroactive to the date of filing but its not guaranteed anywhere. It also can take up to six months for CS to be ordered AFTER dad is served.

Its also not guaranteed anywhere that dad would get a 50/50 timeshare.

Is dad more than a bit of a jerk and disinterested future parent because he has decided to take a three month trip to Europe instead of being present when his child is born? Absolutely! However, as an unwed parent the courts are not going to punish him for that by ordering extra child support or making him jump through extra hoops in order to have parenting time with his child.

Either he is a good guy who is going to realize how much of a mistake he made when he gets back and actually meets his child...or, he really is a jerk, in which case its better to be forewarned now, rather than blindsided by it after the child is born.

The reason why the attorney has been urging you two to mediate is because no court action could be taken before the child was born anyway, and mediated agreements are always encouraged.

 

[Ohiogal]

That is true for every state in the country, including yours. Its possible that CS can be ordered retroactive to the date of filing but its not guaranteed anywhere. It also can take up to six months for CS to be ordered AFTER dad is served.

Its also not guaranteed anywhere that dad would get a 50/50 timeshare.

Is dad more than a bit of a jerk and disinterested future parent because he has decided to take a three month trip to Europe instead of being present when his child is born? Absolutely! However, as an unwed parent the courts are not going to punish him for that by ordering extra child support or making him jump through extra hoops in order to have parenting time with his child.

Either he is a good guy who is going to realize how much of a mistake he made when he gets back and actually meets his child...or, he really is a jerk, in which case its better to be forewarned now, rather than blindsided by it after the child is born.

The reason why the attorney has been urging you two to mediate is because no court action could be taken before the child was born anyway, and mediated agreements are always encouraged.

If this is his child. Because he doesn't have a child until paternity is established. And we have all seen Maury where MOM guarantees he is the father but then she has to get 12 over men tested. Maybe mom should not have gotten pregnant until she was married if she didn't want to deal with this.

 

[SunshineMama]

That is true for every state in the country, including yours. Its possible that CS can be ordered retroactive to the date of filing but its not guaranteed anywhere. It also can take up to six months for CS to be ordered AFTER dad is served[/U].

Its also not guaranteed anywhere that dad would get a 50/50 timeshare.

Is dad more than a bit of a jerk and disinterested future parent because he has decided to take a three month trip to Europe instead of being present when his child is born? Absolutely! However, as an unwed parent the courts are not going to punish him for that by ordering extra child support or making him jump through extra hoops in order to have parenting time with his child.

Either he is a good guy who is going to realize how much of a mistake he made when he gets back and actually meets his child...or, he really is a jerk, in which case its better to be forewarned now, rather than blindsided by it after the child is born.

The reason why the attorney has been urging you two to mediate is because no court action could be taken before the child was born anyway, and mediated agreements are always encouraged.

Thank you.

"However, as an unwed parent the courts are not going to punish him for that by ordering extra child support or making him jump through extra hoops in order to have parenting time with his child."

Thank you, that is what I was looking for. I am going to look into having Family Wizard added if cant have actual classes.

Although this new information about CS not being back dated is surprising, and will be contacting a new attorney today now.

 

[stealth2]

Although this new information about CS not being back dated is surprising, and will be contacting a new attorney today now.

Going to wait for the OG Effect to take effect.

 

[SunshineMama]

Well THAT would be a miraculous conception, little one!

To have an enforceable agreement, it must be - *gasp* wait for it - signed by a judge, thus making it a court order, binding on both parties and enforceable.

How old are you two? 'Cause you sound ~15, trying to be 25. Stomping your feet as you are.

Its frustrating to think someone can use the legal system to postpone support a child. If you have to be court ordered to do paternity (many other options then can just acknowledge), and also cant be found to serve paperwork-- You should still be supporting your child during that time IMO.

Im lucky to have budgeted and have family help. What if you were on Welfare or Medicaid? Why should my tax dollars pay for some jerk's child who prolonged paying CS. ---- But I guess that would be another debate entirely.

 

[SunshineMama]

Going to wait for the OG Effect to take effect.

I dont know what OG Effect is. But if things could end up as you all are saying I should be prepared with my own attorney. Hopefully get established before baby comes. This is all about a baby remember---

Also I wonder if you were the judge would you back date child support?

You seem to feel very strongly it wont be retroactive.

If courts take 6 months to process--- Why should child suffer without CS? CS is the right of the child.

Im trying to understand

 

[TheGeekess]

Its frustrating to think someone can use the legal system to postpone support a child. If you have to be court ordered to do paternity (many other options then can just acknowledge), and also cant be found to serve paperwork-- You should still be supporting your child during that time IMO.

Im lucky to have budgeted and have family help. What if you were on Welfare or Medicaid? Why should my tax dollars pay for some jerk's child who prolonged paying CS. ---- But I guess that would be another debate entirely.

That's the price one pays when one decides to procreate outside a marriage; putative Fathers are not required to support squat until the court tells them so.

Don't think that the State doesn't go after putative fathers when children end up on Welfare, because the State does (and will).

 

[Ohiogal]

Its frustrating to think someone can use the legal system to postpone support a child. If you have to be court ordered to do paternity (many other options then can just acknowledge), and also cant be found to serve paperwork-- You should still be supporting your child during that time IMO.

Im lucky to have budgeted and have family help. What if you were on Welfare or Medicaid? Why should my tax dollars pay for some jerk's child who prolonged paying CS. ---- But I guess that would be another debate entirely.

Its frustrating that people like you can get pregnant out of wedlock and then think that the laws shouldn't apply to you because you are a special snowflake and one of your sex partners should be forced to support a child who may or may not be his. And then when said man doesn't do everything you want that you will attempt to punish him financially or with other means.

 

[Ohiogal]

I dont know what OG Effect is. But if things could end up as you all are saying I should be prepared with my own attorney. Hopefully get established before baby comes. This is all about a baby remember---

Also I wonder if you were the judge would you back date child support?

You seem to feel very strongly it wont be retroactive.

If courts take 6 months to process--- Why should child suffer without CS? CS is the right of the child.

Im trying to understand

Don't have a child you can't afford. End of story. Child support is NEVER a guarantee.

 

[SunshineMama]

Its frustrating that people like you can get pregnant out of wedlock and then think that the laws shouldn't apply to you because you are a special snowflake and one of your sex partners should be forced to support a child who may or may not be his. And then when said man doesn't do everything you want that you will attempt to punish him financially or with other means.

Forced back support for a child that is found to be legally his. As I said I am planning to offer a paternity clause if he wants it. I am also going to offer an outside paternity test if he has any doubts--- which will be much quicker then a court ordered.

Seeing your child and coparenting isnt punishment.

 

[SESmama]

I am also going to offer an outside paternity test if he has any doubts--- which will be much quicker then a court ordered.

Won't hold up in court