Custodial Parent Moving From IL to TX...

[melissa1277]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Currently in IL, moving to TX in November


I am a single Mom of 3 and I am moving to TX from IL in November to be closer to family and to make a better life for myself (college). I have Sole Custody of my two oldest (and I can move with them, no problem there) and I do have permission from my youngest's Father to move to TX. Just a side note: The Father and I get along very well...

Now my questions are...Just want someone to help us in the right direction..

1. Seeing that I am seeking to make the move and removing my child from regular visitation from his Father, how does Child Support work? My Ex (we have never been married) makes approx. $150,000-$200,000 a year while I am currently making $30,000 (whole reason I am going off to school )

2. Obvisously, I can't afford to fly 3 boys to visit my Ex (he is practically Dad to my other two boys, he has known them their entire life- I can afford to fly one of my boys, that is not a problem), so I am giving what I can in assisting in travel arrangements.. Im willing to drive the majority of the way there to help in visitation.. Does this affect child support??

3. What are some other good topics to discuss with my Ex when we have a document written up in regards to my move??

Any advice on whom I should talk with that isn't going to cost a lot of money..

Thank you sooo much!@

 

[WittyUserName]

Are there currently court orders in place regarding support?

 

[ecmst12]

No court is going to order you to fly 2 kids who are not his to visit your ex, if you let them visit him at all it is going to be solely at your discretion and you can set the terms with your ex. That you are allowing visitation at all shows that you are thinking of your children rather then yourself.

 

[melissa1277]

Ok.. We never had a court order.. We had my Ex's Father ( I know a little strange) whom was a lawyer (he is now deceased as a few months ago) wrote up a custodial/child support agreement between the two of us. This was 8 years ago. We never changed anything on it...We have never really had a problem. If I ever needed a little extra money, he always helped. THANK GOODNESS!!

I really want to be fair for the BOTH of us. But we now make a significant diffrence in income so Im not sure what I should approach with (child support)to make it acceptable for both of us Its just difficult because the diffrence in lifestyle is sooo diffrent because of the amount of money he makes compared to mine. I don't want to ask for a ridiculous amount of support especially because I am the one wanting to make the move.... Just need suggestions!

I do want whats best for my boys. I fully realize what is best is probably not taking them from their "Dad" He is "Dad" to all of them, but I can't live where I do and continue with my education and work Full-time without the help of my family (my sisters both will be living in TX). I desperately need to make a better life for my boys and I will do everything in my power to make a relationship with "Dad" as good as it possibly can be living so far away!

FYI...My Ex's main corporate office is in Dallas... 20 mins from where I will be living.. He travels to TX at least once a month

Just asking for more advice.. thanks everyone!!

 

[ecmst12]

I would suggest you go to court and get an order that you both have to file, at least regarding the biological child. You will not get child support for the other 2, nor should you ask. You do not need to commit to a court ordered schedule for the other 2 children either. You can file for child support (should have long ago) for the child that you share. If you do it before you move, it will be in your current state using those guidelines. If you want to wait until after the move you have to wait 6 months to establish residency in the new state.

I think it would be reasonable for you to offer to pay transportation costs for the child you share to visit and if he wants the other 2 to come as well, he needs to cover the cost. You can also allow for visitation while he is in TX. You may want to have a consult with a lawyer before you decide what you will ask the court to approve.

 

[melissa1277]

First and foremost.. where do I even go to start a court order? What or Who do I contact in regards of that?

I know I should have filed for child support a long time ago, I know...

My Ex DOES NOT pay support for my other two children nor do I expect him to. I would never ask for support for them. They are not his responsibility. Obviously, he has been "Dad" to them (he has know them since my one son just turned 2 and my oldest turned 5- they are now 11 and 14) so he does treat all the boys the same. While we were together, my Ex wanted me to be a stay-at-home Mom, and I was for 5 years- we were never married)... that is what we decided together. Now, that we aren't together, he helps out if my other two boys need something extra (a pair of shoes, some clothes, $20 for my oldest to go out with friends, etc..)... But I realize, to the fullest extent, that I am very lucky to have that for my boys, its definitely not a normal scenerio. But, If he were to stop helping in that way with my other two boys, it honestly could be a little difficult on us AT FIRST but I could not complain.. my boys had it pretty good for a long time.. now its time for Momma to make it even better (in time!!)

However, the only thing I would HOPE to expect from him is to continue to be in their (my other two children, that are not his) lives.. not financially but just there for them when they need to talk, etc..

I have no problem with paying for my youngest to see his Dad.. but I can only afford so much!! The question is, how often do we try to make the visits for?? What is a typical out of state visitation set for? Im sure they vary greatly, but what do you think would be normal/good??

Thanks so much for your advice already.. I really appreciate it!!

 

[CJane]

If the original child support/visitation agreement was set in IL, it will/should remain in IL. IL uses ONLY the non-custodial parent's income to set child support - and does NOT take into account time spent with the children.

If state guidelines are followed, he should pay 20% of his net income.

Calculating Child Support Obligation

An agreement for him to pay standard child support, and you agreeing to cover transportation of the child for visitation on a schedule that works for the three of you would be simple to file with the court with no attorney.

If Dad is in TX once/month, include in the agreement that when he is in town, he can exercise time with the child that you share. You will NOT be able to include the two boys that are NOT his in any orders, but whether you CHOOSE to allow visitation with them or not is 100% up to the two of you.

 

[melissa1277]

"IL uses ONLY the non-custodial parent's income to set child support - and does NOT take into account time spent with the children."

I do know that IL uses the non-custodial parents income to set child support, but what do you mean when you said "IL does not take into account time spent with the children"?

Im sorry I don't understand... there are just soooo many diffrent laws and regulations out there... Im sooo confused!

 

[CJane]

"IL uses ONLY the non-custodial parent's income to set child support - and does NOT take into account time spent with the children."

I do know that IL uses the non-custodial parents income to set child support, but what do you mean when you said "IL does not take into account time spent with the children"?

Im sorry I don't understand... there are just soooo many diffrent laws and regulations out there... Im sooo confused!

Some states grant various credits to the non custodial parent based on the amount of time that parent spends with the children.

You asked

Seeing that I am seeking to make the move and removing my child from regular visitation from his Father, how does Child Support work?

It seemed like you believed this would be the case in IL. But it doesn't matter - legally speaking - if he has the child 47% of the time or 7% of the time. Child support would remain 20% of his income.

 

[stealth2]

What about the other father?