Custody Arrangement

[AngieO'Plasty]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I am contemplating divorcing my spouse and will be meeting with an attorney this week.

I want to use my time with the attorney wisely, so I wanted to run this idea by some others first.

In regards to custody and visitation ... my spouse and I have a 6-month-old child. Currently, I am the child's primary care giver, but my spouse watches the child while I am at work.

I work Friday night and Saturday night from 7 pm to 7 am.

Givent that this is our current schedule, would it be reasonable to suggest that I retain primary custody of our child, but that spouse receive weekly visitation from Friday at 12 pm until Sunday at 12 pm, with perhaps a visit on Tuesday or Wednesday as well?

I have heard that the courts don't favor overnight visits with children under 3 years old, but since spouse and I already have this arrangement, wouldn't it make sense to simply keep it this way?

 

[candg918]

Have you considered how you might handle his watching the baby if you needed to pick up an additional shift? You might want to add some additional flexibility into the plan to cover that situation.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I am contemplating divorcing my spouse and will be meeting with an attorney this week.

I want to use my time with the attorney wisely, so I wanted to run this idea by some others first.

In regards to custody and visitation ... my spouse and I have a 6-month-old child. Currently, I am the child's primary care giver, but my spouse watches the child while I am at work.

I work Friday night and Saturday night from 7 pm to 7 am.

Givent that this is our current schedule, would it be reasonable to suggest that I retain primary custody of our child, but that spouse receive weekly visitation from Friday at 12 pm until Sunday at 12 pm, with perhaps a visit on Tuesday or Wednesday as well?

I have heard that the courts don't favor overnight visits with children under 3 years old, but since spouse and I already have this arrangement, wouldn't it make sense to simply keep it this way?

There are two major principles in setting child custody:

1. (and, by far, the most important): What is best for the child?
2. Where possible, maintain the status quo

For a 6 month old child, visits should be frequent. Ideally, the child would see each of you daily. Since there is a visitation in place that meets that objective, I would suggest that if you're living close enough to be able to keep that up (which is a good idea, if possible), I would continue it. When the child gets older, you can change to a different parenting plan.

Perhaps leave it as is until the child is 2, and then have him spend one or two nights with you and one or two days with your spouse. by the time he's 5 or 6, you could go to alternating weeks or other split custody plan. Make sure you include holidays (there are lots of ways to split it - just as an aside, it's less confusing if you say "Easter and Christmas on even years and Thanksgiving on odd years" than "Easter and Christmas on the first year, etc... because you don't have to keep counting back).

That, of course, requires that you have a reasonably amicable divorce. That doesn't mean that everything is hunky-dory from the start (divorces are always painful and stressful for everyone involved), but if you can work through that and have a decent shared parenting relationship, it's better for everyone involved. Just spend some time reading these threads to see what happens if parents are at odds - and think of what's best for your child for the next 17.5 years.

If you and your spouse agree to a parenting plan that's not too bizarre, the court will probably accept it.

 

[futuredust]

Post history... down this very same road just recently.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/sole-custody-523643.html