Custody battle: Please post your opinion

[Phoenix_Down]

Me and my fiance are currently going through a custody battle with her ex. Today we received a declaration in the mail stating that I am a "danger" and a "threat" to the child. Along with this declaration he posted absolutely no evidence to state or confirm that I have harmed the child in any way. The only exhibit attached with the document was my past criminal history (4 years old). Does anybody know whether or not he can simply file a no contact order and have it actually granted without any substantiating evidence? someone please help me I love my daughter very much.

 

[moburkes]

Me and my fiance are currently going through a custody battle with her ex. Today we received a declaration in the mail stating that I am a "danger" and a "threat" to the child. Along with this declaration he posted absolutely no evidence to state or confirm that I have harmed the child in any way. The only exhibit attached with the document was my past criminal history (4 years old). Does anybody know whether or not he can simply file a no contact order and have it actually granted without any substantiating evidence? someone please help me I love my daughter very much.

It is her fight with her ex. She is not your daughter. What is on your criminal history?

 

[Phoenix_Down]

Just drug convictions. I have been out of jail for 9 months and am now a firefighter and have been working steady and complying with my parole. I understand that it is her battle with her ex. The only problem with that is when he could dig up nothing on her he decided he would go after me and my past. Im not voluntarily getting involved. He's pulling me in.

 

[moburkes]

Just drug convictions. I have been out of jail for 9 months and am now a firefighter and have been working steady and complying with my parole. I understand that it is her battle with her ex. The only problem with that is when he could dig up nothing on her he decided he would go after me and my past. Im not voluntarily getting involved. He's pulling me in.

Out of jail for 9 months is COMPLETELY different from a 4 year old criminal history. And, JUST DRUGS???????????????????? Are you kidding me?

Him pulling you into this has nothing to do with the fact that you call this child your daughter (which she is not). Hell, you're not even married to her mother!

 

[Phoenix_Down]

okay

Hi this is the mother in question and yes just drug charges only..My ex was accused of the same charges almost 2 years ago except MORE....So my response to you is this..My fiance and I will be married in Febuary. and My daughter is his step daughter And she loves him very much so... I am hear for advice not someone who is going to pick apart specific words and say something stupid about it... I take it your a father yourself??? So from your stand point if you were to be with a woman who has a child in a previous relationship and her ex was belittling you because of something you did 4 YEARS ago would you be upset?? If you cared for that child???? My fiance is not at alll violent but my ex used to torment me daily for 3 years so if you seriously have any advice be so kind to reply but don't sit here and start an argument its already stressful enough....

 

[moburkes]

Hi this is the mother in question and yes just drug charges only..My ex was accused of the same charges almost 2 years ago except MORE....So my response to you is this..My fiance and I will be married in Febuary. and My daughter is his step daughter And she loves him very much so... I am hear for advice not someone who is going to pick apart specific words and say something stupid about it... I take it your a father yourself??? So from your stand point if you were to be with a woman who has a child in a previous relationship and her ex was belittling you because of something you did 4 YEARS ago would you be upset?? If you cared for that child???? My fiance is not at alll violent but my ex used to torment me daily for 3 years so if you seriously have any advice be so kind to reply but don't sit here and start an argument its already stressful enough....

We prefer that you 2 post under different names, instead of sharing a userID. It is very confusing to speak to 2 people under 1 ID. You do realize, mom, that a stepparent has NO LEGAL RIGHTS to the stepchild, right? NONE. AT. ALL.

And, no, I'm a single mother.

Again, saying that you've been out of jail for 9 months is COMPLETELY different from saying that your history is 4 years old. The "history" is CURRENT.

He tormented you daily for 3 years? Because you allowed him to, or because he violated court orders to stay away from you?

 

[Phoenix_Down]

Hi again

This is mother in question and this is his deal...So you should understand that not only does my fiance have a record but I have nothing at all, My ex has multiple Great bodily injuries not only to myself but to his ex he was with after I left him... He is currently moved in with his new girlfriend he has been with 3 months and Rumor has it SHE is pregnant. Repeat behaviors?? I dont know we will have to see. But the thing about it all All of my exs family has drug charges, I am thinking that this is what last leg he has to stand on so he is going to use it... My fiance has learned his lessons, and my ex just finds ways to make them acceptable IE: he (my ex) now has a medicinal script for marijuana, so he can continue to use drugs.Anytime he pleases, there is sooo much involved and I think it would take an hour to type it up....On the other hand... I was in a situation that many people call the "cycle" Abuse starts then they appoligize and then it starts again.... I moved here when I was 15 pretty much by myself after my mother passed, and have been on my own since....I met My ex when I was 17 and we moved in together after 3 months LOL (see the repeat) After another 60 days the abuse started, I was vulnerable and now pregnant (see the repeat) So i had no choice but to try to change him, after about 3 years I got my stregnth back and worked two jobs saved my money and moved out with my daughter....after about 6 months various resons (most that my ex caused) I got fired from him calling my work, The house I was in they lost, and I became homeless, My ex was currently living with his mother and his grandma, so I had to leave my daughter with them for 2 months till I found my apartment which I currently still live in My fiance whom I have know for awhile now we decided to get together when he got out and here we are. He is (i promise you) the best thing that could of happened for myself and my daughter...And I am honestly (no matter how much I despise my ex) am not taking my daughter from him at all, My ex is just not intellegent, nor resposible for my daughters ANYTHING He is what I call disneyland dad, he plays but when It comes to doctors and schools and anything important My ex would rather just pass it off to me.. So you have gots to see how upsetting this to me...Expecially since my ex stated to my fiance that "I want you out of christys world and she will crumble" He is being malicious.

 

[moburkes]

Nothing in your post indicates that he abused your child, or will abuse your child. You chose him to be the father of your child. You chose another man with a criminal record to be your fiance. I don't think he'll get shot down immediately, but I don't think he'll prevail. However, whatever the visitation schedule is now, he can get more visitation time. He can also get joint custody.

 

[stealth2]

Frankly, what I see is a repeat of making poor choices in men. Be that as it may... Dad has every right to believe that the man his child lives with is unfit and a danger to her. Whether he can prove it or not is something else. However, what WILL absolutely harm your case is the continuation of your b/f's continued involvement in that case, as well as his referring to the child as his daughter. She's not. Nor will she be until such a time (if ever) that he should adopt her. Personally, I'd advise you to get a lawyer.

 

[moburkes]

See her other thread.

 

[Zephyr]

I believe the woman my ex is with is a danger and a bad influence to my son, and all she has is multiple drug offenses, harassment, and disorderly conduct charges...however....so far the court hasn't agreed with me...we'll see soon though with her latest round of charges

 

[Silverplum]

As the parent of a firefighter, I sincerely doubt that a recent drug convict would even be eligible to be hired as a FF.

 

[Phoenix_Down]

lol, have you ever seen the big red cdf fire fighter busses? their filled with prisoners, they certify you while incarcerated and hire you on seasonal for 3 years upon your release if your charges carry no violence or grand theft auto, after that they make you full time. I actually just got a job with dept. of the interior in Humboldt county. but that is besides the point, what I asked was this! "CAN HE GET GRANTED A NO CONTACT ORDER WITH NO SUBSTANTIATING EVIDENCE i.e. SPECIFIC EVENTS, OR CIRCUMSTANCES IN WHICH I ENDANGERED THE CHILD?" solely basing his allegations on my past criminal history? somebody with actual legal knowledge respond please.

 

[moburkes]

Not only is your rudeness NOT appreciated, but the crystal ball is being recalibrated.

 

[Phoenix_Down]

ummm.... ok, I was not being rude in any way shape or form and as far as your "crystal ball being recalibrated" i dont know what your referring to.