Custody change because of death

[Chrisrain]

Ohio.
Two things
1- my son (christopher) his mom is dying of leukemia. she currently has full custody. When/if she dies, her mom is going to fight for custody. If she dies cause her mom keeps my son, since her daughter has custody. Or since I'm the father, can I keep holding legally? I get him every Wednesday and every other weekend. I had custody of him 10 out of his 12 years of life. I'm scared her mom will try to keep him until court, of I have to apply for custody.

2. I have full custody of my daughters. Their mom hasnt followed the court ruling at all. She doesn't try to see them, communicate with them, nothing. Zero effort. Its been about a year. I'm married and my wife is raising them. The call her mom.. She does all the maternal/mother duties. Can she adopt them without their bio mom signing off rights? Is there a certain amount of time of no contact between bio mom and kids that make her rights because gone.. Any help would be great. Thank you!

 

[Ohiogal]

Ohio.
Two things
1- my son (christopher) his mom is dying of leukemia. she currently has full custody. When/if she dies, her mom is going to fight for custody. If she dies cause her mom keeps my son, since her daughter has custody. Or since I'm the father, can I keep holding legally? I get him every Wednesday and every other weekend. I had custody of him 10 out of his 12 years of life. I'm scared her mom will try to keep him until court, of I have to apply for custody.

2. I have full custody of my daughters. Their mom hasnt followed the court ruling at all. She doesn't try to see them, communicate with them, nothing. Zero effort. Its been about a year. I'm married and my wife is raising them. The call her mom.. She does all the maternal/mother duties. Can she adopt them without their bio mom signing off rights? Is there a certain amount of time of no contact between bio mom and kids that make her rights because gone.. Any help would be great. Thank you!

Custody reverts to you after mom die and grandmother would have to file for custody and prove you unsuitable.

 

[LdiJ]

Ohio.
Two things
1- my son (christopher) his mom is dying of leukemia. she currently has full custody. When/if she dies, her mom is going to fight for custody. If she dies cause her mom keeps my son, since her daughter has custody. Or since I'm the father, can I keep holding legally? I get him every Wednesday and every other weekend. I had custody of him 10 out of his 12 years of life. I'm scared her mom will try to keep him until court, of I have to apply for custody.

How old is your son? His age won't change the legalities but it might change the practicalities. Once his mother passes away you can just keep him since you will be his only remaining parent, but you might not want to do that if it would disrupt his schooling. You might want to wait until the end of a school semester, depending on his age. You also need to remember that grandma is unlikely to release his belongings without a court order, so again, depending on his age, that could be a touchy issue.

2. I have full custody of my daughters. Their mom hasnt followed the court ruling at all. She doesn't try to see them, communicate with them, nothing. Zero effort. Its been about a year. I'm married and my wife is raising them. The call her mom.. She does all the maternal/mother duties. Can she adopt them without their bio mom signing off rights? Is there a certain amount of time of no contact between bio mom and kids that make her rights because gone.. Any help would be great. Thank you!

She cannot adopt them without involving the biological mother. Once she is served for an involuntary termination of her parental rights she might very well start exercising her parenting time which would likely cause the judge to dismiss the involuntary termination case. There are also some things that both you and your wife should consider. If the worst were to happen and the two of you decided to divorce in the future, would you be ok with your wife possibly getting primary custody of your daughters? Would your wife be ok with paying child support?

Sometimes its better not to poke the sleeping bear.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ohio.
Two things
1- my son (christopher) his mom is dying of leukemia. she currently has full custody. When/if she dies, her mom is going to fight for custody. If she dies cause her mom keeps my son, since her daughter has custody. Or since I'm the father, can I keep holding legally? I get him every Wednesday and every other weekend. I had custody of him 10 out of his 12 years of life. I'm scared her mom will try to keep him until court, of I have to apply for custody.

2. I have full custody of my daughters. Their mom hasnt followed the court ruling at all. She doesn't try to see them, communicate with them, nothing. Zero effort. Its been about a year. I'm married and my wife is raising them. The call her mom.. She does all the maternal/mother duties. Can she adopt them without their bio mom signing off rights? Is there a certain amount of time of no contact between bio mom and kids that make her rights because gone.. Any help would be great. Thank you!

LD is incorrect. How much contact has your daughter's mom had with them in the past year? If de minimus then you do not need mom's agreement to adopt. You could file a step parent adoption petition citing the lack of contact of a year or more. (Get an attorney). Even if mom then starts trying to see the children, it does not matter.

 

[Ohiogal]

She cannot adopt them without involving the biological mother. Once she is served for an involuntary termination of her parental rights she might very well start exercising her parenting time which would likely cause the judge to dismiss the involuntary termination case. There are also some things that both you and your wife should consider. If the worst were to happen and the two of you decided to divorce in the future, would you be ok with your wife possibly getting primary custody of your daughters? Would your wife be ok with paying child support?

Sometimes its better not to poke the sleeping bear.

Sometimes its better to actually know the law. If mother has not had more than de minimus contact in the last year and hasn't been prevented by the father saying no, then even if mom started visiting AFTER a stepparent adoption were filed, it doesn't matter. The law is very specific on that.

 

[Zigner]

LD is incorrect. How much contact has your daughter's mom had with them in the past year? If de minimus then you do not need mom's agreement to adopt. You could file a step parent adoption petition citing the lack of contact of a year or more. (Get an attorney). Even if mom then starts trying to see the children, it does not matter.

I'm just quoting to make sure the information is seen.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Ohio.
Two things
1- my son (christopher) his mom is dying of leukemia. she currently has full custody. When/if she dies, her mom is going to fight for custody. If she dies cause her mom keeps my son, since her daughter has custody. Or since I'm the father, can I keep holding legally? I get him every Wednesday and every other weekend. I had custody of him 10 out of his 12 years of life. I'm scared her mom will try to keep him until court, of I have to apply for custody.

2. I have full custody of my daughters. Their mom hasnt followed the court ruling at all. She doesn't try to see them, communicate with them, nothing. Zero effort. Its been about a year. I'm married and my wife is raising them. The call her mom.. She does all the maternal/mother duties. Can she adopt them without their bio mom signing off rights? Is there a certain amount of time of no contact between bio mom and kids that make her rights because gone.. Any help would be great. Thank you!

Can you clarify for me:

1) Is the mother of your son different from the mother of your daughters? I only ask, because if they all had the same mother, what you're asking (adoption) is rather callous.

2) Why was custody of your son changed 2 years ago? Was it by (then) mutual agreement? It kind of sounds like it wasn't your choice - so what caused the change? Again, I only ask, because depending on the reasons there could be more (or less ) hoops.

For now, try to be supportive of your son. He's going through a difficult time. And while you view your son's grandmother as an adversary, try to insert some compassion: her child is terminally ill. Try to imagine yourself in her shoes, and act with as much sensitivity as you can muster. Kindness may smooth things out. Or, if it doesn't, at least she won't have recent evidence of you being a thoughtless cad.

 

[t74]

Adoption is not DIY. Given your two issues, you need to be looking for a family law attorney. You might as well start now and have the attorney advise you both of the process and the documentation that will be needed - especially for the possible adoption.

I hope your son is in counseling at this very difficult time of his life. I imagine it is difficult for his mother's family to schedule this for him with their other responsibilities. Please work with them. (Previous poster and I were typing same thought at the same time.)

 

[stealth2]

1) Is the mother of your son different from the mother of your daughters? I only ask, because if they all had the same mother, what you're asking (adoption) is rather callous.

Just guessing, but it appears there are three children, two mothers.

2) Why was custody of your son changed 2 years ago? Was it by (then) mutual agreement? It kind of sounds like it wasn't your choice - so what caused the change? Again, I only ask, because depending on the reasons there could be more (or less ) hoops.

Guessing again, but I'm thinking Mom/OP divorced two years ago, and son is 12.

 

[Just Blue]

Just guessing, but it appears there are three children, two mothers.


Guessing again, but I'm thinking Mom/OP divorced two years ago, and son is 12.

My impression as well.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Just guessing, but it appears there are three children, two mothers.


Guessing again, but I'm thinking Mom/OP divorced two years ago, and son is 12.

That's why I asked for clarification: we're guessing.

OP has used some language that has raised red flags for me, so I would appreciate OP clarifying.

 

[Chrisrain]

How old is your son? His age won't change the legalities but it might change the practicalities. Once his mother passes away you can just keep him since you will be his only remaining parent, but you might not want to do that if it would disrupt his schooling. You might want to wait until the end of a school semester, depending on his age. You also need to remember that grandma is unlikely to release his belongings without a court order, so again, depending on his age, that could be a touchy issue.



She cannot adopt them without involving the biological mother. Once she is served for an involuntary termination of her parental rights she might very well start exercising her parenting time which would likely cause the judge to dismiss the involuntary termination case. There are also some things that both you and your wife should consider. If the worst were to happen and the two of you decided to divorce in the future, would you be ok with your wife possibly getting primary custody of your daughters? Would your wife be ok with paying child support?

Sometimes its better not to poke the sleeping bear.

We have discussed those factors and for my daughter's sake, I'm willing to possibly face child support/custody dispute with my wife.

 

[Chrisrain]

Just guessing, but it appears there are three children, two mothers.


Guessing again, but I'm thinking Mom/OP divorced two years ago, and son is 12.

Yes. My daughter's have same mother. Son had a different mother

 

[Chrisrain]

We have discussed those factors and for my daughter's sake, I'm willing to possibly face child support/custody dispute with my wife.

My son is 14. I enrolled him into an autism school. Which home address doesn't matter.

Adoption is not DIY. Given your two issues, you need to be looking for a family law attorney. You might as well start now and have the attorney advise you both of the process and the documentation that will be needed - especially for the possible adoption.

I hope your son is in counseling at this very difficult time of his life. I imagine it is difficult for his mother's family to schedule this for him with their other responsibilities. Please work with them. (Previous poster and I were typing same thought at the same time.)

My son is severely autistic and doesn't understand the situation. He does receive counseling mon-fri. But if his mother passed, he will not understand.

 

[Chrisrain]

My son is 14. I enrolled him into an autism school. Which home address doesn't matter.

My son is severely autistic and doesn't understand the situation. He does receive counseling mon-fri. But if his mother passed, he will not understand.

I plan to work with the grandparents because they are truly amazing grandparents . I just am not preparing for them to cross a line and fight for custody.