Custody in a will?

[ashkyla]

Oklahoma.

Just wondering if there is something specific I need to do to give my mother custody of my daughter over anyone else (including any husband I may have in the future), if anything should happen to me.

I've been told that I can put it in a will, but is there some specific terminology, or clauses that I need to include to ensure that she is the first choice (assuming she outlives me) rather than any husband I have, or any other family member that may come forward?

Thanks!

 

[Litigation!]

Oklahoma.

Just wondering if there is something specific I need to do to give my mother custody of my daughter over anyone else (including any husband I may have in the future), if anything should happen to me.

I've been told that I can put it in a will, but is there some specific terminology, or clauses that I need to include to ensure that she is the first choice (assuming she outlives me) rather than any husband I have, or any other family member that may come forward?

Thanks!

My response:

Why is this question in the "Grandparent’s Rights" forum?

IAAL

 

[Leinalani]

Oklahoma.

Just wondering if there is something specific I need to do to give my mother custody of my daughter over anyone else (including any husband I may have in the future), if anything should happen to me.

I've been told that I can put it in a will, but is there some specific terminology, or clauses that I need to include to ensure that she is the first choice (assuming she outlives me) rather than any husband I have, or any other family member that may come forward?

Thanks!

You can not will children. Children are not considered personal property in the eyes of the law. The best advice I can give you is to look into a Standby Guardianship that would take effect if you or the child's legal father become either become incapacitated or die. With this option, I strongly advise you to consult with a local attorney about your state's laws and to make sure that you've completed any and all of the applicable paperwork. I wouldn't do this alone, although it has been done.

Just keep in mind that the child's surviving or competant legal parent will be given custody over any guardianship order and to actually put one in place legally, you will need the consent of the father as well. You hadn't mentioned any father so I just thought I'd add that in there.

There's a lot more to this option so I would do a search online for it. Google's a good resource but I'd get a consult with an attorney familiar with your area's laws to get a better grasp of it.

Hope this helps.

 

[ceara19]

While it's true you can't just will a child to someone, you can make provisions concerning custody of your child upon your death. Without knowing more of the details, I don't know how to tell you to proceed.

Where is the child's father? What kind of relationship does he have with the child?

 

[sabrinashubby]

hubby would have no rights unless he adopts child.

unless your future husband adopted your child, he would be considered a legal stranger with no rights to the child, so he couldnt try to get custody

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

unless your future husband adopted your child, he would be considered a legal stranger with no rights to the child, so he couldnt try to get custody

Now that we know you are Kelly our forum troll, I have a question. Why do you keep coming back? You have been banned FOUR times now! God! Get help for whatever is wrong with you.

 

[BlondiePB]

Now that we know you are Kelly our forum troll, I have a question. Why do you keep coming back? You have been banned FOUR times now! God! Get help for whatever is wrong with you.

I wonder what gives it away.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I wonder what gives it away.

I wonder if she will actually answer me. Maybe Bay needs to post her pic again.

 

[BlondiePB]

I wonder if she will actually answer me. Maybe Bay needs to post her pic again.

That would be great. I missed it when Bay posted her pic. Well, there's other inquiring minds that would like an answer to your question.

 

[nextwife]

IF there is a father in the picture, you cannot deny him his parental rights. If you died, he'd have rights over and above anybody else. Unlesss he's, something like, an ax murderer, child molester, terrorist leper.

 

[ceara19]

IF there is a father in the picture, you cannot deny him his parental rights. If you died, he'd have rights over and above anybody else. Unlesss he's, something like, an ax murderer, child molester, terrorist leper.

Even IF somehow mom managed to have a provision added regarding custody upon death added to whatever CO she has concerning custody/visitation with dad, it will not prevent dad from taking grandma to court if mom dies. It is also a very real possibility that whatever evidence mom used to keep dad from having visitation/custody in the first place, won't be admissible in the case involving grandma.

 

[ceara19]

That would be great. I missed it when Bay posted her pic. Well, there's other inquiring minds that would like an answer to your question.

That picture was WAY too scary. Worse yet, it says she lives in the same state that I do. I hate to think that she may be one of my neighbors.

 

[ashkyla]

Even IF somehow mom managed to have a provision added regarding custody upon death added to whatever CO she has concerning custody/visitation with dad, it will not prevent dad from taking grandma to court if mom dies. It is also a very real possibility that whatever evidence mom used to keep dad from having visitation/custody in the first place, won't be admissible in the case involving grandma.

I don't think the father has any rights in this situation, given that he disappeared when I was 4 months pregnant, swearing that the baby wasn't his, and doesn't even know the gender of said child, and has never asked about, seen, or sent any kind of support for her since her birth.

 

[ceara19]

I don't think the father has any rights in this situation, given that he disappeared when I was 4 months pregnant, swearing that the baby wasn't his, and doesn't even know the gender of said child, and has never asked about, seen, or sent any kind of support for her since her birth.

Unless his parental rights have been terminated, he is considered the child's next of kin, regardless of how long it has been since he's seen the child or paid child support. If you died, he gets custody, UNLESS you make other arrangment through the court. Even if the court allows you to name your mother guardian upon your death, dad can still come back & sue grandma for custody. To make matters worse, in many cases, dad's history with you is inadmissible in the case against grandma.

 

[zeuss]

Let's say that the father is in prison until after the child turns 19, then who would have the responsibility for the child until then??