Custody in a will?

[ashkyla]

Unless his parental rights have been terminated, he is considered the child's next of kin, regardless of how long it has been since he's seen the child or paid child support. If you died, he gets custody, UNLESS you make other arrangment through the court. Even if the court allows you to name your mother guardian upon your death, dad can still come back & sue grandma for custody. To make matters worse, in many cases, dad's history with you is inadmissible in the case against grandma.

That's insane. Her father doesn't even know if he has a daughter or a son. All attempts to contact him have been totally ignored. He changed his email address, physical address, phone number, etc, and terminated contact with anyone who would possibly be able to give the information to me.

Are you seriously saying that someone who is about as much a father as a sperm donor could come back in 15 years and claim custody of a child he doesn't even know the gender of?!

 

[ceara19]

That's insane. Her father doesn't even know if he has a daughter or a son. All attempts to contact him have been totally ignored. He changed his email address, physical address, phone number, etc, and terminated contact with anyone who would possibly be able to give the information to me.

Are you seriously saying that someone who is about as much a father as a sperm donor could come back in 15 years and claim custody of a child he doesn't even know the gender of?!

Unfortunately, yes. Unless his rights have been terminated he has the right to take the child in the event of your death. Is he on the birth certificate? Has paternity been established? Is there a court order regarding you daughter? Since he's gone to such great lengths to avoid responsibility, if anything happened to you, he probably wouldn't even know about it. I've told my family in the event of my death there won't be an obit in the paper or a public service. It would lessen the chanse my ex would ever find out I'm dead and try to persue custody or visitation.

 

[LdiJ]

Unfortunately, yes. Unless his rights have been terminated he has the right to take the child in the event of your death. Is he on the birth certificate? Has paternity been established? Is there a court order regarding you daughter? Since he's gone to such great lengths to avoid responsibility, if anything happened to you, he probably wouldn't even know about it. I've told my family in the event of my death there won't be an obit in the paper or a public service. It would lessen the chanse my ex would ever find out I'm dead and try to persue custody or visitation.

I would have to disagree with this one.

He is obviously not listed on the BC. Therefore he is not the legal father of the child. He would have to jump through some major hoops to even be considered for custody as a result.

He doesn't even know the child's gender or name. It's kind of hard to file a paternity or custody petition without that information.

However, if he first identified the child, then filed to establish paternity, then filed for visitation and actually got to know the child,....he might someday be able to get custody.

OP, look into "standby guardianship". That is where you (in advance, through court) appoint someone to take immediate guardianship of your child in the event that you are incapacitated or dead. If your mother was set up as a standby guardian for the child she would have immediate guardianship, and bio-dad's position would be a little weaker. In addition, your mother wouldn't have to go to court after your death. The guardianship would already be legally in place.