Custody in Washington

[singlemama89]

I am in Washington State. My son turns 2 next month and has only seen his father twice. He lives about 45 minutes from where I live and works only 30 minutes away.

Once when he was 3 months ago and once a few weeks ago.

He has not tried to have a relationship with our son what so ever. After our son was born, I reached out to him to let him know I gave birth as well as texted him and emailed him pictures. I received no response. He did meet him in October 2015 for about an hour, after that he made no contact with me again. Since then, I would randomly text and email him pictures and give him an update on how our child was doing. I told him if he was interested in meeting our son and spending time with him we can meet at a central location. I never received a response. I filed for child support, however they had to serve him to began anything. Finally last year (September) they were able to serve him. We took a DNA test and received our results in November. Even after the results came in, he did not attempt to contact me at all. In February, I tried to reach out to him again with newer pictures and he actually replied back to me. We met at a park were he spent about 45 minutes. He would text me saying how he couldn't wait to be more involved but never actually asked to see him. Both times we saw him, I was the one who drove (30 minutes each way) & arranged it.

He was served with the order to establish an order for child support and texted me asking if I had him served. I told him that was child support and now all of a sudden he was 50/50 custody of our son. I take it he wants to reduce the child support amount. He asked to have our son overnight every weekend and wants to take him to New York to meet his family for a week in July. I calmly explained that they have no relationship, taking my son from someone he is with constantly to being with a complete stranger is not going to go well. I told him we can come up with a parenting plan, I would prefer at least a few months of him meeting our son on the weekend with either me and my sister at a park, spending time with him and establishing a relationship. After a few months, we can discuss an overnight visit every other weekend. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him taking our son out of state without a custody agreement, but I would be more than willing to fly with my son to meet his family or they can visit us. I am a single mom who works full time however between daycare costs and not having any type of financial support from him currently, I cannot afford 3k-4k which is what attorneys are asking in my area. Is there a chance if he decides to take me to court a judge would grant him 50/50 custody??

Also, he is in the reserves and will be deploying in October.....

 

[Zigner]

I am in Washington State. My son turns 2 next month and has only seen his father twice. He lives about 45 minutes from where I live and works only 30 minutes away.

Once when he was 3 months ago and once a few weeks ago.

He has not tried to have a relationship with our son what so ever. After our son was born, I reached out to him to let him know I gave birth as well as texted him and emailed him pictures. I received no response. He did meet him in October 2015 for about an hour, after that he made no contact with me again. Since then, I would randomly text and email him pictures and give him an update on how our child was doing. I told him if he was interested in meeting our son and spending time with him we can meet at a central location. I never received a response. I filed for child support, however they had to serve him to began anything. Finally last year (September) they were able to serve him. We took a DNA test and received our results in November. Even after the results came in, he did not attempt to contact me at all. In February, I tried to reach out to him again with newer pictures and he actually replied back to me. We met at a park were he spent about 45 minutes. He would text me saying how he couldn't wait to be more involved but never actually asked to see him. Both times we saw him, I was the one who drove (30 minutes each way) & arranged it.

He was served with the order to establish an order for child support and texted me asking if I had him served. I told him that was child support and now all of a sudden he was 50/50 custody of our son. I take it he wants to reduce the child support amount. He asked to have our son overnight every weekend and wants to take him to New York to meet his family for a week in July. I calmly explained that they have no relationship, taking my son from someone he is with constantly to being with a complete stranger is not going to go well. I told him we can come up with a parenting plan, I would prefer at least a few months of him meeting our son on the weekend with either me and my sister at a park, spending time with him and establishing a relationship. After a few months, we can discuss an overnight visit every other weekend. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him taking our son out of state without a custody agreement, but I would be more than willing to fly with my son to meet his family or they can visit us. I am a single mom who works full time however between daycare costs and not having any type of financial support from him currently, I cannot afford 3k-4k which is what attorneys are asking in my area. Is there a chance if he decides to take me to court a judge would grant him 50/50 custody??

Also, he is in the reserves and will be deploying in October.....

50/50 physical custody is highly unlikely in the near term.

(Isn't it great that your son will finally be able to have his father involved in his life, regardless of the initial motivating factor?)

 

[singlemama89]

50/50 physical custody is highly unlikely in the near term.

(Isn't it great that your son will finally be able to have his father involved in his life, regardless of the initial motivating factor?)

It is. I have always told him I wanted him to have some type of relationship with his son. I have encouraged it but now I'm a little freaked out. I've never gone to court for anything.

 

[LdiJ]

It is. I have always told him I wanted him to have some type of relationship with his son. I have encouraged it but now I'm a little freaked out. I've never gone to court for anything.

There is virtually no chance that he could get a 50/50 timeshare with the child because he is a complete stranger to the child. Its also quite common for someone who is hit with child support to suddenly file for a 50/50 timeshare. Judges know that.

What will typically get ordered is a phased in plan where dad starts out visiting the child with someone the child knows, present, then short visits alone with the child, then longer visits, then overnights, then more like a standard every other weekend, shared holidays and shared summer. Make sure that dad is required to complete one phase, before he is allowed to move into the next phase.

If he is serious about being part of his child's life he will complete the phases. If he is not, he won't.

 

[CTU]

There is virtually no chance that he could get a 50/50 timeshare with the child because he is a complete stranger to the child. Its also quite common for someone who is hit with child support to suddenly file for a 50/50 timeshare. Judges know that.

What will typically get ordered is a phased in plan where dad starts out visiting the child with someone the child knows, present, then short visits alone with the child, then longer visits, then overnights, then more like a standard every other weekend, shared holidays and shared summer. Make sure that dad is required to complete one phase, before he is allowed to move into the next phase.

If he is serious about being part of his child's life he will complete the phases. If he is not, he won't.

That's not typically ordered in Washington actually - not any more. In fact, it's not a given that he wouldn't get 50/50 right off the bat no matter what you or I may think is best for the child.

Mom, what's more likely is that there will be a very, VERY quick intro period - think three or four visits at most - before your son will be allowed to stay overnight with his father. It's also unlikely that Dad will be required to complete every step of a "stepped up" parenting plan ...in fact, it's so unlikely as to be considered a rarity since such a conditional plan is not typically deemed necessary unless the child is much older - think 9 or so - and has never seen the parent.

And now you'll be told to speak with a local attorney to guide you further. I agree with that suggestion - if only to confirm what I've said here.