Custody the last 3 months but owe child support??

[Davis1]

What is the name of your state?Missouri
My ex and I had our custody modification go to trial in July. A judgment was issued in my ex's favor but under what my attorney and I feel were unreasonable circumstances so we filed a motion reconsider /new trial. The hearing was yesterday and our motion denied. The judgment stated I had to pay child support prior to the initial judgment being final and we argued against that. Our child has still been in my custody this whole time but now that we've lost this battle he will go live with my ex starting tomorrow. How can I owe child support before he's out of my custody and the judgement was stayed?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state?Missouri
My ex and I had our custody modification go to trial in July. A judgment was issued in my ex's favor but under what my attorney and I feel were unreasonable circumstances so we filed a motion reconsider /new trial. The hearing was yesterday and our motion denied. The judgment stated I had to pay child support prior to the initial judgment being final and we argued against that. Our child has still been in my custody this whole time but now that we've lost this battle he will go live with my ex starting tomorrow. How can I owe child support before he's out of my custody and the judgement was stayed?

Did you ask your attorney, who has all the facts of the case, this question?

 

[Davis1]

Yes, and he's trying to figure this out at well. He disagreed with it and was working on an appeal and a few other things including child support. I was simply looking for another opinion

 

[AlmostThere]

I think we may need more information.

• Was there a prior order issued before the one reaffirmed yesterday? If so, when was it, issued, and what did say about child custody and child support?
• When and how did the child enter your custody?
• When was the case initially filed?

 

[Davis1]

To clarify, I've had sole physical custody of our child since we divorced in Illinois in 2017. My ex has had a consistent child support order since as I was the custodial parent. My ex filed this motion for modification, which was granted in his favor, even though it contradicts the judge's own findings. That's actually very important. I personally have never been ordered to pay child support and our child has never left my primary custody but will tomorrow, for the first time in his life. My ex will then have primary custody. This order was issued in July, stayed before it finalized in August which granted me another 90days up until our motion was decided. Now that it has been decided, the order is final. But why should it be retroactive when our child has been with me?

 

[adjusterjack]

Paying the three months is probably cheaper than what the attorney is charging.

Is this the hill you want to die on?

 

[Davis1]

The hill I absolutely WILL die on is the one where I get my child back because none of this is right. You don’t know the full story and I’m not going to give the details. You have the facts needed to provide an answer. There is clearly a reason I’m asking this question. The cost of something unjust could mean forfeiting my ability to file an appeal.

 

[Zigner]

The hill I absolutely WILL die on is the one where I get my child back because none of this is right. You don’t know the full story and I’m not going to give the details. You have the facts needed to provide an answer. There is clearly a reason I’m asking this question. The cost of something unjust could mean forfeiting my ability to file an appeal.

Talk to your attorney - you pay him (or her) to listen to your whine demands.

 

[Davis1]

I am truly relieved you’re not an attorney. You’d be worthless!

 

[not2cleverRed]

The hill I absolutely WILL die on is the one where I get my child back because none of this is right. You don’t know the full story and I’m not going to give the details. You have the facts needed to provide an answer. There is clearly a reason I’m asking this question. The cost of something unjust could mean forfeiting my ability to file an appeal.

The cost of not carefully choosing which hill to die on can cost your credibility in that court, undermining you for years to come, regardless of the merits of your case.

I am not a lawyer. What you think is "common sense" or "just" may be very different from how local law operates. One of my friends commented that things in court finally went her way more consistently when she realized that "the job of the judge is to determine who is lying less." It helped her stay calm in the face of her ex's crazy allegations, rather than reacting.

Listen to your lawyer. If you are staring to lose faith in your lawyer, consult other lawyers.

 

[Davis1]

I have every faith in my lawyer; it’s the judge I do not. He completely contradicted himself in his ruling stating there was no reason to change custody from myself as sole physical yet completely did so to the point I will go from seeing my child daily to four days per month. That is the whole basis for me fighting anything so hard. But like it or not, funds needs to be available to appeal and the ugly truth is that if I’m stuck with back child support while the judgment was stayed it’s going to put the appeal in jeopardy from my stand point. If our child was with my ex, there’d be absolutely no argument coming from me. But that wasn’t the case.

 

[AlmostThere]

What happened that inspired the judge to change custody to minimal visitation?

 

[Davis1]

No clue. The GAL recommended our son stay with me at the trial but give my ex two more weeks than what I proposed the summer. I had no issue with it. The judgment said “ Based upon the evidence adduced the Court can not find that there has been a change in circumstances of the child or custodians which is so substantial that either motion seeking a change from joint custody to sole custody for either parent would be justified…” he claims to have given joint physical custody but case law from White v. White states otherwise based on the number of days I see my son (52, not including holidays). I was actually not seeking sole custody, I requested joint physical and joint legal in my proposal. In addition, the judgement goes on to mix up names of my ex and my current husband in addition to other errors. It’s a whole mess.