What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Missouri
Good evening from Missouri! I am hoping for some advice. I did read over previous posts and the questions/answers posted on the main home page. However, if I missed something that would have answered my question I apologize.
My 2 year old daughters father and I have never been married nor lived together. She has my last name and his name is not on the birth certificate. Paternity has been established through DNA testing. I have a stack of paperwork through Child Support Enforcement which lists him as the "non-custodial parent" and myself as "custodial parent". However, I have since found out that all of this is not considered legally binding as far as established custody? Is that correct? Is there anything I can do to establish the custody arrangements without going to an attorney and to court? If that’s what needs to be done that’s what I will do, but I would like to know what I’m getting into.
I hate to think that I may turn into the witchy we-are-going-to-stick-to
everything-on-this-paper type of woman. But...I kind of feel forced to set some ground rules and some guidelines. I have NEVER denied him seeing her, have never set a schedule for picking her up or returning her. I have changed my plans on a moments notice to accommodate him. But I am fed up! This past weekend her father pulled his disappearing act yet again. He's goes out of his way to call and say he would like to pick her up for the weekend and then never shows. Nor even bothers to call and say he's not coming!! And this is hardly the first time he has pulled this crap. But I have never chewed him out. I have always tried to stay nice for her sake because I do want them to have a relationship. When ever I ask him what happened he always has some lame unbelievable excuse anyway. She is only 2 , but OMG! doesn't he even bother to think of how his behavior can/will affect her when she gets older?
I am done being nice and overly accommodating. I figure with some legal rules in place he will either see her or he won't, but it will be with some guidelines. Not to mention it scares me to death to think that I am not considered to have full custody. I am her primary care giver. I do provide for her every day. I make all the decisions regarding her. I have tried many times and in numerous ways to involve her father. I have always encouraged him spending time with her, although I think I can count on one hand the times he has actually followed through with his plans. And on a selfish note I will admit I don’t want to deal with any issues down the road. If I should decide to get married, move out of state, whatever. I don’t want any hassles from him.
Any suggestions and/or advice will be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Angela in Missouri
Good evening from Missouri! I am hoping for some advice. I did read over previous posts and the questions/answers posted on the main home page. However, if I missed something that would have answered my question I apologize.
My 2 year old daughters father and I have never been married nor lived together. She has my last name and his name is not on the birth certificate. Paternity has been established through DNA testing. I have a stack of paperwork through Child Support Enforcement which lists him as the "non-custodial parent" and myself as "custodial parent". However, I have since found out that all of this is not considered legally binding as far as established custody? Is that correct? Is there anything I can do to establish the custody arrangements without going to an attorney and to court? If that’s what needs to be done that’s what I will do, but I would like to know what I’m getting into.
I hate to think that I may turn into the witchy we-are-going-to-stick-to
everything-on-this-paper type of woman. But...I kind of feel forced to set some ground rules and some guidelines. I have NEVER denied him seeing her, have never set a schedule for picking her up or returning her. I have changed my plans on a moments notice to accommodate him. But I am fed up! This past weekend her father pulled his disappearing act yet again. He's goes out of his way to call and say he would like to pick her up for the weekend and then never shows. Nor even bothers to call and say he's not coming!! And this is hardly the first time he has pulled this crap. But I have never chewed him out. I have always tried to stay nice for her sake because I do want them to have a relationship. When ever I ask him what happened he always has some lame unbelievable excuse anyway. She is only 2 , but OMG! doesn't he even bother to think of how his behavior can/will affect her when she gets older?
I am done being nice and overly accommodating. I figure with some legal rules in place he will either see her or he won't, but it will be with some guidelines. Not to mention it scares me to death to think that I am not considered to have full custody. I am her primary care giver. I do provide for her every day. I make all the decisions regarding her. I have tried many times and in numerous ways to involve her father. I have always encouraged him spending time with her, although I think I can count on one hand the times he has actually followed through with his plans. And on a selfish note I will admit I don’t want to deal with any issues down the road. If I should decide to get married, move out of state, whatever. I don’t want any hassles from him.
Any suggestions and/or advice will be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Angela in Missouri