Custody

[Girlinsc38]

What is the name of your state: SC (only U.S. law)?


My daughter and her Husband are considering a seaperation, My daughter of course wans sole legal custody of their 2 yr old daughter. Her Husband says he wants joint custody,(just to make my daughters life miserable i am sure)
i am usually the one who watches her or picks her up when my daughter has to work late, she is a hair stylist and has late walk in appointments usually on thurs and fri, he refuses to pick up the baby so i go get her so she will not be at the babysitters late. My daughter is not trying to keep him from seeing her , but doesot trust him to be responsible enough to have joint custody , she knows he loves his daughter , but his group of friends are less than desierable and he doesnt seem to have a problem taking the baby around them. He was also kicke d out of the airforce and spent 6 months in the brigg for drug abuse. He openly does some drugs and drinks several times a week , she really just wants out and wants it as civial as possible for the baby's sake. But is scared he will be able to get joint custody , do you have any advice for her. He aslo talk to the child at night and says things like : your mom is crazy and is keeping you from me. and send my daughter text msgs just being hatful and beligerant .. any advic would be appreciated

 

[mommyof4]

What is the name of your state: SC (only U.S. law)?


My daughter and her Husband are considering a seaperation, My daughter of course wans sole legal custody of their 2 yr old daughter. Her Husband says he wants joint custody,(just to make my daughters life miserable i am sure)
i am usually the one who watches her or picks her up when my daughter has to work late, she is a hair stylist and has late walk in appointments usually on thurs and fri, he refuses to pick up the baby so i go get her so she will not be at the babysitters late. My daughter is not trying to keep him from seeing her , but doesot trust him to be responsible enough to have joint custody , she knows he loves his daughter , but his group of friends are less than desierable and he doesnt seem to have a problem taking the baby around them. He was also kicke d out of the airforce and spent 6 months in the brigg for drug abuse. He openly does some drugs and drinks several times a week , she really just wants out and wants it as civial as possible for the baby's sake. But is scared he will be able to get joint custody , do you have any advice for her. He aslo talk to the child at night and says things like : your mom is crazy and is keeping you from me. and send my daughter text msgs just being hatful and beligerant .. any advic would be appreciated

I read the first paragraph and stopped.

If your daughter has questions, get her to post.

BOTH parents have equal rights and standing at this point. The fact that you think that Dad wants to actually SHARE parenting time with the child is a move of revenge or control over your daughter is pathetic (not to mention completely irrelevant.).

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state: SC (only U.S. law)?


My daughter and her Husband are considering a seaperation, My daughter of course wans sole legal custody of their 2 yr old daughter. Her Husband says he wants joint custody,(just to make my daughters life miserable i am sure)
i am usually the one who watches her or picks her up when my daughter has to work late, she is a hair stylist and has late walk in appointments usually on thurs and fri, he refuses to pick up the baby so i go get her so she will not be at the babysitters late. My daughter is not trying to keep him from seeing her , but doesot trust him to be responsible enough to have joint custody , she knows he loves his daughter , but his group of friends are less than desierable and he doesnt seem to have a problem taking the baby around them. He was also kicke d out of the airforce and spent 6 months in the brigg for drug abuse. He openly does some drugs and drinks several times a week , she really just wants out and wants it as civial as possible for the baby's sake. But is scared he will be able to get joint custody , do you have any advice for her. He aslo talk to the child at night and says things like : your mom is crazy and is keeping you from me. and send my daughter text msgs just being hatful and beligerant .. any advic would be appreciated

okay, first off, third party situations are hard to advise. why? because only the person with the situation knows the details better.


drinking is legal. drugs, what kind of drugs?

joint legal custody is almost a sure thing. nothing you have mentioned says dad is incapable of making medical, educational and/or legal decisions for his daughter.

joint physical, a different story. however, from your statement neither parents are available more then the other. if mom doesn't want his text messages, she can shut off that portion of her plan. or block his number entirely.

 

[Girlinsc38]

unfriendy boards

oooooook then i will seek advice somewhere else , my daughter is always available for her child point is HE doesnt want to be until NOW. and ONly to hurt her or make her miserable .. Thanks for NOTHING!

 

[Girlinsc38]

I am not butting in to my daughters business im always put in the middle , because he throws her out of the house every other week , because she doesnt choose to drink and smoke pot with him. according to him she is not fun. I will go to a friendlier board in the future

 

[Isis1]

I am not butting in to my daughters business im always put in the middle , because he throws her out of the house every other week , because she doesnt choose to drink and smoke pot with him. according to him she is not fun. I will go to a friendlier board in the future

than extract yourself. you will need to allow your daughter to handle this on her own. that's the reality of it. open the door when she knocks with a pillow and baby in hand. make some coffee, and let her talk. offer her a bed. that's okay to do.

but don't handle her legal problems for her. she needs to do that herself. let dad be a dad. shoot, even if it's only pretending to make mom mad. take the wind out of the sails and enjoy dad spending time with the child. who knows, he might accidently be a good dad.

 

[Girlinsc38]

I was not handling her legal matters for her i was asking for some FRIENDLY advice for someone whos worried and scared(Including Myself)

 

[Isis1]

I was not handling her legal matters for her i was asking for some FRIENDLY advice for someone whos worried and scared(Including Myself)

oh. well then another site would be more helpful in that direction. we have a tendency to offer legal advice....sorry. wrong forum for that.

 

[Just Blue]

I was not handling her legal matters for her i was asking for some FRIENDLY advice for someone whos worried and scared(Including Myself)

Okay...Go to a "friendly advice" site...I am sure that will assist your sister in her legal matters.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state: SC (only U.S. law)?


My daughter and her Husband are considering a seaperation, My daughter of course wans sole legal custody of their 2 yr old daughter. Her Husband says he wants joint custody,(just to make my daughters life miserable i am sure)
i am usually the one who watches her or picks her up when my daughter has to work late, she is a hair stylist and has late walk in appointments usually on thurs and fri, he refuses to pick up the baby so i go get her so she will not be at the babysitters late. My daughter is not trying to keep him from seeing her , but doesot trust him to be responsible enough to have joint custody , she knows he loves his daughter , but his group of friends are less than desierable and he doesnt seem to have a problem taking the baby around them. He was also kicke d out of the airforce and spent 6 months in the brigg for drug abuse. He openly does some drugs and drinks several times a week , she really just wants out and wants it as civial as possible for the baby's sake. But is scared he will be able to get joint custody , do you have any advice for her. He aslo talk to the child at night and says things like : your mom is crazy and is keeping you from me. and send my daughter text msgs just being hatful and beligerant .. any advic would be appreciated

Grandma, the reality of things is if dad wants joint legal custody (joint decision making) he WILL get joint legal custody.

That does not mean that he will automatically get joint physical custody, and even more so does not mean that he will get a 50/50 timeshare.

However, he will get parenting time with his child and that is something that both you and your daughter will have to live with. Yes, I do realize that he is making poor choices in his lifestyle, but unless those poor choices directly effect the child in a negative way, and your daughter can PROVE that, there will be nothing she can do.

If you are right, and he really isn't interested in the child, then he won't exercise his parenting time or he won't exercise much of it...but that doesn't change the legal realities.

 

[CJane]

And if he's kicking your daughter out of the house e/o week and she's CHOOSING TO GO BACK there, EVEN THOUGH he "openly does drugs" and is "hateful and belligerent".

She's basically telling the courts that all of that bahvior is just fine with her, he's a splendid father and even splendider husband.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state: SC (only U.S. law)?


My daughter and her Husband are considering a seaperation

I read ahead but dad is so bad that mom is just CONSIDERING a separation?

My daughter of course wans sole legal custody of their 2 yr old daughter.

Why does she believe she deserves SOLE LEGAL CUSTODY? of course?

Her Husband says he wants joint custody,(just to make my daughters life miserable i am sure)

Bias little comment, snarkiness from grandma. Watch yourself. If the separation does not happen and daughter remains with hubby you may find yourself eating those words. Hubby has joint custody now. Why should he have less because they are separated?

i am usually the one who watches her or picks her up when my daughter has to work late, she is a hair stylist and has late walk in appointments usually on thurs and fri, he refuses to pick up the baby so i go get her so she will not be at the babysitters late.

So he has told you that he REFUSES to pick up his child and he REFUSES to have anything to do with the baby?

My daughter is not trying to keep him from seeing her , but doesot trust him to be responsible enough to have joint custody ,

Yet she is still with him and still he has joint custody.

she knows he loves his daughter , but his group of friends are less than desierable and he doesnt seem to have a problem taking the baby around them.

The friends over come over the house?

He was also kicke d out of the airforce and spent 6 months in the brigg for drug abuse

And yet she is STILL with him.

He openly does some drugs and drinks several times a week , she really just wants out and wants it as civial as possible for the baby's sake.

And she has remained. So you believe he is horrible and she is a saint?

But is scared he will be able to get joint custody ,

He has joint custody now. he will most likely continue to have joint custody.

do you have any advice for her. He aslo talk to the child at night and says things like : your mom is crazy and is keeping you from me.

How do you know he says that?

and send my daughter text msgs just being hatful and beligerant .. any advic would be appreciated

You are far too involved.

 

[Ohiogal]

And if he's kicking your daughter out of the house e/o week and she's CHOOSING TO GO BACK there, EVEN THOUGH he "openly does drugs" and is "hateful and belligerent".

She's basically telling the courts that all of that bahvior is just fine with her, he's a splendid father and even splendider husband.

Actually, she said he is HATFUL. Apparently he really really likes hats.

 

[Zephyr]

And if he's kicking your daughter out of the house e/o week and she's CHOOSING TO GO BACK there, EVEN THOUGH he "openly does drugs" and is "hateful and belligerent".

She's basically telling the courts that all of that bahvior is just fine with her, he's a splendid father and even splendider husband.

really**************

 

[sanelyso491]

He sounds like a jerk to me

I think you all are being a little hard on grandma, shes obviously sick and tired of all the bs and being brought in to the middle, he sounds like a male chauvinist pig jerk to me. i was in the same type relationship and i tried and tried to hang in their because i wanted it to work just thought with time he would change blah blah blah they dont change and when we are young we dont see it , we eventaully get tired of the crap and then they suddenly want to act like mr dad like they have ever done anything to help, why should he get equal visitation other than if the law thinks he deserves it and the law is about screwed up to if you ask me he has obviously done nothing to help her thus far but so as to make himself look like a badass in front of friends and make himslef look like a GOOd dad hes pretending to care . get off grandmas back offer her a little moral support. I drug my mom in the middle , i needed her and she was my rock, i would have never gotten thru it without her