Dad Wants Visitation W/No home!

[MrsKos]

What is the name of your state?

Pennsylvania

Hi. My child's father hasn't seen his son since June (his choice). He lost his house at the end of June and has been staying either with his girlfriend or with his dad. He has no pemanant address and currently, we share joint custody, not legalized in court, just the state statute on an uncontested divorce.

He called here today wanting his child to stay over night. But he won't give me an address on where he'll be staying at, with whom he'd be staying with. He told my son to tell me he's now living in a "ritzy" neighborhood and the house is white. (He has no job, bad credit and no money, so it's a downright lie). I told him today that I didn't want my child going because:

A) He is not giving me an address or phone number.
B) If it is at his girlfriend's house, I do not want my child staying overnight in a high crime area.
C) He'll be consuming a vast amount of alcohol because his brother is having a picnic tonight, in which, a mutual friend of mine told me they ordered a keg of beer for this picnic.

Am I in the right in this situation, not allowing my child to go? I'm currently playing phone tag with a pro bono attorney with help on my custody/visitation isssue. I just don't want this "incident" to be a blip on my case.

 

[BL]

just the state statute on an uncontested divorce

You BOTH agreed to a UD , follow the statutes .

 

[MrsKos]

I guess it'll be a blip on my case then because it is unheard of, to me, or any sane parent, to send a child not knowing where they are going to be laying their head down for the night and on top of it, being lied to about it from dad.

Then I'm left knowing that dad will be drinking and driving with them in the car, in which, he has no license or insurance, so it's an illegal vehicle. Dad has no legal, permanant address and is LYING about where he will be and won't give me a number to reach my kids.

Sorry, it is unacceptable in my eyes and the judge can slap me on the hand for it when we do end up in court.

I'm not being pissy here, just don't see the problem with what I am doing because I am protecting the best interest of my child. And that's not sending him to a drinking party, risking a car accident and staying overnight at some strangers house.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I guess it'll be a blip on my case then because it is unheard of, to me, or any sane parent, to send a child not knowing where they are going to be laying their head down for the night and on top of it, being lied to about it from dad.

Then I'm left knowing that dad will be drinking and driving with them in the car, in which, he has no license or insurance, so it's an illegal vehicle. Dad has no legal, permanant address and is LYING about where he will be and won't give me a number to reach my kids.

Sorry, it is unacceptable in my eyes and the judge can slap me on the hand for it when we do end up in court.

I'm not being pissy here, just don't see the problem with what I am doing because I am protecting the best interest of my child. And that's not sending him to a drinking party, risking a car accident and staying overnight at some strangers house.

I suggest you look at your state statutes. I haven't lived in a 'home' for five years, but I've lived in hotels and have had no problem enforcing my visitation. Although I own two homes and a boat I sometimes live on, the homes are not in this country.

Home ownership is NOT a statutory requirement for visitation. AND it's NOT your call.

 

[MrsKos]

LOL! That's nice, but um.. isn't the NCP supposed to supply a valid address and/or telephone number as to where my child will be staying?

And he's not living in hotels. He's living wherever he can lay his head down at night, whether it's some bar floozie or another drunken buddy of his. I didn't say he needed to own a home, I DID tell him if the child would be at NCP's father's house, he could stay the night, but NCP told me , "No, he'll be staying with me in my new home in "ritzy town" in a white house." Which was a lie.

I'm sorry, I REFUSE to send my child without knowing where he will be. That means, I want a telephone number or an address where he can be reached.

So it is my choice until he takes me to court. It's my RIGHT to keep my son safe and it is my RIGHT to know where my son will be when he is NCP's hands.

Oh and I forgot to mention, he was already halfway drunk when he called for my child. He was slurring his speech and acting like a retard. But I should;ve sent him anyway, right???

In this post - nobody ever realized he'd be picking my child up in a car when he has no license or insurance, nobody ever replied about the fact he'd be driving drunk!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

LOL! That's nice, but um.. isn't the NCP supposed to supply a valid address and/or telephone number as to where my child will be staying?

And he's not living in hotels. He's living wherever he can lay his head down at night, whether it's some bar floozie or another drunken buddy of his. I didn't say he needed to own a home, I DID tell him if the child would be at NCP's father's house, he could stay the night, but NCP told me , "No, he'll be staying with me in my new home in "ritzy town" in a white house." Which was a lie.

I'm sorry, I REFUSE to send my child without knowing where he will be. That means, I want a telephone number or an address where he can be reached.

So it is my choice until he takes me to court. It's my RIGHT to keep my son safe and it is my RIGHT to know where my son will be when he is NCP's hands.

UNTIL you return to court to include the fact (IF a judge allows it) that the NCP MUST have a home, you are in contempt of court each and every time you REFUSE to send HIS child for visitation.

The penalties you face are civil penalties, jail time and loss of custody should you continue thumbing your nose at the court.

YOU decide.

 

[MrsKos]

UNTIL you return to court to include the fact (IF a judge allows it) that the NCP MUST have a home, you are in contempt of court each and every time you REFUSE to send HIS child for visitation.

The penalties you face are civil penalties, jail time and loss of custody should you continue thumbing your nose at the court.

YOU decide.

Read the last few lines of my edited post.

And it'll be my first contempt charge, so I face only a warning. I'm playing phone tag with an attorney, so I'll know ALOT more of what my case will be when we do go after sole physical legal custody. I know he'll have visitation, but we'll have a very nice parenting plan set up and also, possible supervised visitation, which I know I'll be granted because I have a lot of evidence on him.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Read the last few lines of my edited post.

It doesn't matter what you add. You have a court order. UNTIL such time as you have the order changed it stands. PERIOD.

You don't like it then have it changed. Otherwise, you are in contempt of a court order EACH and EVERY time you refuse visitation.

That's it. I'm done with you. No attorney is going to advise you to commit the civil crime of contempt on this site.

 

[MrsKos]

It doesn't matter what you add. You have a court order. UNTIL such time as you have the order changed it stands. PERIOD.

You don't like it then have it changed. Otherwise, you are in contempt of a court order EACH and EVERY time you refuse visitation.

That's it. I'm done with you. No attorney is going to advise you to commit the civil crime of contempt on this site.

Ok, I'll just go to court on a SATURDAY afternoon and request an immediate change of my order that "NCP has to have an address and phone number of where my child can be reached at and to request NCP not pick up his child drunk, while he's driving in an unisured car with a DUI suspended license".
Until then, I must send child with a drunk-driving NCP.

Sounds good to me.

 

[BL]

Oh and I forgot to mention, he was already halfway drunk when he called for my child. He was slurring his speech and acting like a retard. But I should;ve sent him anyway, right???

In this post - nobody ever realized he'd be picking my child up in a car when he has no license or insurance, nobody ever replied about the fact he'd be driving drunk!

Ok , then you should know enough to say hang on a few the child's in the tub .

Then call the police on the unlicensed drunken ******* .. Right .

No , you think you're god , and every decision is up to you .

Let me ask you this ?

Which one of you filed the UD ? , and which one signed the UD ?

 

[CandiceH]

There is one thing that you can do if you dont want to be in contempt. Let him show up to pick up his child as planned. When he arrives and you smell booze on his breath, call the police. It will then be on record that he was intoxicated, may get him a DUI charge and may help your case.

 

[tsbook]

Ok, in my papers it states that the parents will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best intrest of the child, to provide a safe, stable, and nonviolent enviroment for the child". To me that is the issue here and in my case. If the NCP is homeless, on drugs or alcohol, and cannot give you an adress where the kids will be safe, that is not following the court order. That is what I am relying on; as well as my attorney telling me not to give them to her.

 

[dallas702]

If you absolutely know for sure that he has no valid driver's license or insurance, and he arrives to pick up your child driving a vehicle by himself, you can have the ploice and child services intervene. Of course, if he is DUI he will be arrested immediately, but even if sober it is illegal to transport a child in a vehicle without proper restraints (child seat), and he cannot legally drive without insurance etc. However, you have to plan for what you will do if the police take a long time to arrive. CPS has emergency numbers that for you to contact them, and they will contact the police for you.

All that said, if he arrives legally, is not intoxicated, and even isn't breaking any other laws, you are bound to turn your son over to him. If you are convinced your child will be in danger you can try to get CPS to intervene, but unless there is a darn good reason they are not going to stop him from seeing his son.

 

[MrsKos]

No , you think you're god , and every decision is up to you .

No I don't think I'm God. I am a mother protecting my child from getting into a car with someone who has been drinking.

Which one of you filed the UD ? , and which one signed the UD ?

I filed the no-fault uncontested divorce, and we both had to sign for it to go through.

Thanks for the advance notice for the next time he shows up with booze on his breath to the last 3 posters. I never thought I could do such a thing, but I will definitely keep that in mind for the next time.

 

[stealth2]

Ok, in my papers it states that the parents will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best intrest of the child, to provide a safe, stable, and nonviolent enviroment for the child". To me that is the issue here and in my case. If the NCP is homeless, on drugs or alcohol, and cannot give you an adress where the kids will be safe, that is not following the court order. That is what I am relying on; as well as my attorney telling me not to give them to her.

What is in YOUR order is completely moot.