Dad Wants Visitation W/No home!

[MrsKos]

It doesn't matter what you add. You have a court order. UNTIL such time as you have the order changed it stands. PERIOD.

You don't like it then have it changed. Otherwise, you are in contempt of a court order EACH and EVERY time you refuse visitation.

That's it. I'm done with you. No attorney is going to advise you to commit the civil crime of contempt on this site.

The thing is, we DON'T have an visitation order that is in the courts at this time. I am only guessing that we are having to abide by the Pennsylvania State Statutes Defaults.

Do you know what they are for Pennsylvania?

 

[casa]

The thing is, we DON'T have an visitation order that is in the courts at this time. I am only guessing that we are having to abide by the Pennsylvania State Statutes Defaults.

Do you know what they are for Pennsylvania?

Then your pro-bono attorney sucks. Without a court order dictating visitation~ You are not legally obligated to allow any visitation.

What you can do, is offer for him to see the child at his parents house- your house- or meet at a local park etc.

You can also tell him if he has been drinking you will not allow the visit. If he shows up intoxicated & has been driving, contact law enforcement. You will need proof via police reports if you wish to suceed in having any type of supervised visitation.

Yes, you can ask that language be included in the custody/visitation order that neither parent is to consume alcohol within X amount of hours prior to any visitation, and that both parties keep the other informed of a current address and phone number for contact.

 

[LdiJ]

The thing is, we DON'T have an visitation order that is in the courts at this time. I am only guessing that we are having to abide by the Pennsylvania State Statutes Defaults.

Do you know what they are for Pennsylvania?

Are you saying that you do not have a specific visitation schedule written into your court orders/agreement? Nothing included in your divorce decree?

If that is the case, then yes, you can refuse to allow him to take the child(ren).

As other's told you, you can also refuse to allow him to take the child (as long as you call the police) if he arrives intoxicated, driving illegally etc.

And...despite with the others have said, if your divorce decree requires him to provide you with an address and phone number, you can also refuse to allow him to take the children until he provides one. In fact, his refusal to provide such is a defense for contempt even if there is nothing in your orders.

"Your honor, all I did was tell him that he had to give me the address and phone number where the kids would be before he took them, he refused".

.......and then you sit back and watch the judge rip into him for being an idiot.

 

[haiku]

"Your honor, all I did was tell him that he had to give me the address and phone number where the kids would be before he took them, he refused".

.......and then you sit back and watch the judge rip into him for being an idiot.

Before anyone is quick to say that this will solve all problems, for one thing, in todays society most phone numbers are cell phones. And I can tell you the kids will be with me at joe schmoes, but I may decide at the last minute to go to sally schmitts instead, which is my right, if I am not restricted to joe schmoes by court order. As long as I have them back at the court ordered time, I can do and go where I want.

personally I would say, to avoid major headaches she needs to go get a visitation order that spells stuff out, rather than rely on vaguaries and turning every visitation into a headache.

 

[MrsKos]

Then your pro-bono attorney sucks. Without a court order dictating visitation~ You are not legally obligated to allow any visitation.

What you can do, is offer for him to see the child at his parents house- your house- or meet at a local park etc.

You can also tell him if he has been drinking you will not allow the visit. If he shows up intoxicated & has been driving, contact law enforcement. You will need proof via police reports if you wish to suceed in having any type of supervised visitation.

Yes, you can ask that language be included in the custody/visitation order that neither parent is to consume alcohol within X amount of hours prior to any visitation, and that both parties keep the other informed of a current address and phone number for contact.

Actually, my attorney and I have not spoken. I inquired Thursday and we have been playing phone tag since. I'm hoping we will talk today so we can get some type of court-ordered custody/visitation going. I want to file for Sole Custody with a visitation plan that states he will not be allowed to drink in the children's presence and that I must have a phone number and/or address of where my children will be when in his custody.

I only have his past criminal and DUI records to go on that will not be released to me. He also has spent time in half-way houses, anger management, AA meetings. Will this attorney be able to get these records?

I have had a Protection from Abuse order on him that is within the 24 month period in which I can use that in court against him.

There is nothing in our divorce decree. This is what it states:

"Any exisiting spousal support order shall hereafter be deemed an order for Alimony Pendente Lite if any economic claims remain pending and it is decreed that the Plantiff is divorced and separated from the bonds of matrimony contracted between herself and the defendant. The court retains jurisdiction of any claims raised by this action for which a final order has not yet been entered."

That's all it says, nothing about visitation. When I did originally file there was a line where it asked who the children would be living with and I stated the children lived with me, asking for physical custody. He didn't challenge anything.

I have told him over and over again that I did not want the child around him when he was drinking, which he has to do every weekend and every chance he gets. (It's nice he can afford to buy booze all weekend long and sit in the bars, but he can't pay his support). But he refuses and tells me that he will do what he wants and nobody will tell him he cannot drink.

And when I ask him where the child will be staying, he lies to me and gives me the run around.

Granted, this is the first weekend he asked for them since the beginning of June. This is the first time I denied him a visit.

 

[casa]

Actually, my attorney and I have not spoken. I inquired Thursday and we have been playing phone tag since. I'm hoping we will talk today so we can get some type of court-ordered custody/visitation going. I want to file for Sole Custody with a visitation plan that states he will not be allowed to drink in the children's presence and that I must have a phone number and/or address of where my children will be when in his custody.

I only have his past criminal and DUI records to go on that will not be released to me. He also has spent time in half-way houses, anger management, AA meetings. Will this attorney be able to get these records?

I have had a Protection from Abuse order on him that is within the 24 month period in which I can use that in court against him.

There is nothing in our divorce decree. This is what it states:

"Any exisiting spousal support order shall hereafter be deemed an order for Alimony Pendente Lite if any economic claims remain pending and it is decreed that the Plantiff is divorced and separated from the bonds of matrimony contracted between herself and the defendant. The court retains jurisdiction of any claims raised by this action for which a final order has not yet been entered."

That's all it says, nothing about visitation. When I did originally file there was a line where it asked who the children would be living with and I stated the children lived with me, asking for physical custody. He didn't challenge anything.

I have told him over and over again that I did not want the child around him when he was drinking, which he has to do every weekend and every chance he gets. (It's nice he can afford to buy booze all weekend long and sit in the bars, but he can't pay his support). But he refuses and tells me that he will do what he wants and nobody will tell him he cannot drink.

And when I ask him where the child will be staying, he lies to me and gives me the run around.

Granted, this is the first weekend he asked for them since the beginning of June. This is the first time I denied him a visit.

You file via declaration in court re; his DUIs, rehab, 1/2 way house etc. Police reports are public, go to the police station and request copies of police reports. If there is information you cannot obtain- ask your attorney to subpoena them...there are some records which may be confidential- but the DUIs are not.....

HOWEVER, any of the records which were prior to you being in a relationship with hiim- won't help much, they will only show you didn't think they were relevant.

 

[MrsKos]

Thank you!!!

And as far as the visitation goes, I DO have the right to deny as long as I know he will be putting them into an unsafe environment??

 

[LdiJ]

HOWEVER, any of the records which were prior to you being in a relationship with hiim- won't help much, they will only show you didn't think they were relevant.

Not if she didn't know about them when she entered into the relationship with him. People often hide their "pasts".

 

[BL]

Ok, in my papers it states that the parents will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best intrest of the child, to provide a safe, stable, and nonviolent enviroment for the child".

OK , and you initiated the UD knowing what the " papers" stated .

You may or may not have known his past and his character , but that's a dryed boiled egg to try to swallow .

Other's advise was good . Have the Order Modified , but you must be able to prove your allegations .

If he shows up intoxicated and driving , stall and call the Police .

I'm sure you can make many excuses .

Remember this is the Child's Father too , maybe this phase in life will pass .

I'd suggest you do not alienate the child from his Father , especially if he has not otherwise physically harmed Him/Her .

There are many years to come ..

 

[MrsKos]

qote]Ok, in my papers it states that the parents will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best intrest of the child, to provide a safe, stable, and nonviolent enviroment for the child".

OK , and you initiated the UD knowing what the " papers" stated [/QUOTE] .

Those are not my papers!

 

[Whyte Noise]

Blonde, what you quoted isn't from the OP (MrsKoz) it's from someone that responded to this thread named tsbook, stating what THEIR papers say.

Ok, in my papers it states that the parents will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best intrest of the child, to provide a safe, stable, and nonviolent enviroment for the child". To me that is the issue here and in my case. If the NCP is homeless, on drugs or alcohol, and cannot give you an adress where the kids will be safe, that is not following the court order. That is what I am relying on; as well as my attorney telling me not to give them to her.

 

[BL]

OK I missed it , But who the hell is this one interJecting , It sounds Like a Reply from the Poster .. HE HE ...

#12 Yesterday, 02:25 PM
tsbook
Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3

Ok, in my papers it states that the parents will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best intrest of the child, to provide a safe, stable, and nonviolent enviroment for the child". To me that is the issue here and in my case. If the NCP is homeless, on drugs or alcohol, and cannot give you an adress where the kids will be safe, that is not following the court order. That is what I am relying on; as well as my attorney telling me not to give them to her.

A UD is just that a UD , unless there is Proof , the Child MUST be sent . I think Breeze covered that very clearly .