Dad wont let her go.

[msfurman]

Oh, I completly understand. My complaint is not for personal reasons or for her friend. She has plenty of time with me and in her life here to visit with friends and do the girlly things. MY ONLY ISSUE is when there is something with school that is mandatory that counts against her grade. This is the only time in almost 12 years that school has conflicted in this way. So this is not an all the time issue. And its not until May. I just wanted to know what I needed to do to verify that her education is not conflicted. If she needs to do something for school, her education is important. MY only quesiton was how do I go about this. Its mandatory, not pleasure. I'm not pissed about friends, parties and such. Not at all. She has stayed after school every week twice a week. They have an activilty bus that brings her home because it is mandatory that she stays after. Just like, its mandatory to go to school everyday. This ONE event falls on his weekend. And not even the whole weekend, just friday. It starts during school and ends at night. At most, he;s missing a couple hours. But isn't it neglectful to intentionaly keep our child from something that is mandatory educationally, in a sence?? he told he she could go, and now that Ive spent the money for the competition, and she's putin the hours at school, he's making me think that he is going to change his mind.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

The reason it is a problem is that you moved from VA to MD to interfere with dad's visitation, you made the move without appropriate notice. You made the problem, not dad or your daughter, that is why dad is fighting it. If you hadn't moved to be with the man you had an affair with, then your daughter would be able to do both her school activities and have visitation with her dad in VA. If she had a meet or party, dad could take her. This is not about your's daughter's best interest it is about you.

 

[onmytime]

The reason it is a problem is that you moved from VA to MD to interfere with dad's visitation, you made the move without appropriate notice. You made the problem, not dad or your daughter, that is why dad is fighting it. If you hadn't moved to be with the man you had an affair with, then your daughter would be able to do both her school activities and have visitation with her dad in VA. If she had a meet or party, dad could take her. This is not about your's daughter's best interest it is about you.

So what if she moved out of state. So what if she had an affair. So what! Geezzz. Not that I agree with doing wrong but the OP's original question was what can she do in order for her daughter to attend the school function, which affects her grade. I don't blame dad for wanting to have his daughter on his weekends however if he is such a caring and loving dad then he should also care about his daughter's involvement in her educational growth. There are plenty of times I would like to plan activities with my daughter and she has a track meet, has to cheer at a game or go to a girl scout function. And even though I am the CP I understand that a part of growing up is being involved in organizations and having a life outside of mom & dad. And before anyone jumps to say "I have my children during the week" Yes I do. But like most other people's lives we don't do movies during the week, go shopping or plan fun things to do. So CP's time on the weekends are interupted as well. DAD should be willing to bend and understand his daughter's needs and growth. He should be adult to make an exception for important reasons.

 

[all4daddysgirl]

Unfortunatly, this sounds similar to what I am going through with my 10 yr old daughters father. I had a concern I spoke to my attorney about - my daughter is a part of our parish we attend church every Sunday morning. Well 4 days ago an order went into affect that he will have everyother weekend with her. She is sooo upset (and doesn't want to go), she brought up the fact that she wants to go to church my lawyer told me that is something tht needs to be worked out between her father & I. There is no reasoning with her Father he made it clear when he has her he will do as he pleases. I feel so helpless and it hurts to see my daughter miss out on what has been her normal schedule for the past 10 years. I have tried to explain that when she has class (church) they will discuss what mass was about and she will not be able to take part in the discussion...he could care less. Its amazing how they act like they are doing whats best for there child and don't see how much they disturb there life while doing it! I would give it a shot to discuss this with her Dad to see if he could take her - as it means something to his daughter! Good luck!

Just out of curiosity, if dad wanted the child 3 nights during the week to do something, what are the chances that you would allow this? I have a feeling slim to none. Most CP's will argue to make plans on the CP's 4 days a month (example) yet when it comes to their 26 days they won't budge!!! I understand it is a chorus event for school, but it always seems to be something

 

[LdiJ]

Oh, I completly understand. My complaint is not for personal reasons or for her friend. She has plenty of time with me and in her life here to visit with friends and do the girlly things. MY ONLY ISSUE is when there is something with school that is mandatory that counts against her grade. This is the only time in almost 12 years that school has conflicted in this way. So this is not an all the time issue. And its not until May. I just wanted to know what I needed to do to verify that her education is not conflicted. If she needs to do something for school, her education is important. MY only quesiton was how do I go about this. Its mandatory, not pleasure. I'm not pissed about friends, parties and such. Not at all. She has stayed after school every week twice a week. They have an activilty bus that brings her home because it is mandatory that she stays after. Just like, its mandatory to go to school everyday. This ONE event falls on his weekend. And not even the whole weekend, just friday. It starts during school and ends at night. At most, he;s missing a couple hours. But isn't it neglectful to intentionaly keep our child from something that is mandatory educationally, in a sence?? he told he she could go, and now that Ive spent the money for the competition, and she's putin the hours at school, he's making me think that he is going to change his mind.

Basically, in my opinion you have two choices. Go to court and get an order compelling dad to switch weekends with you (which I think you would get granted HANDS DOWN..in fact I think the judge would be extremely annoyed with dad because you had to take it to court)....or simply keep the child home on that weekend (if that will be the only time that you will have ever denied visitation)...and deal with getting slapped on the wrist, and ordered to give dad makeup time (which it appears that you would have given him anyway). Heck, I am not even sure that the judge would hold you in contempt in that scenario...as long is it was a "one time" event.

This whole thread has gotten absurd. From all indications you are fully complying with visitation and simply have a problem with ONE particular weekend........known WELL in advance...where it would be easy to arrange makeup time for dad.

 

[stealth2]

Of course, Dad hasn't even said that he won't let the child go. It's just Mom thinking he might.