Date Rape & Gross Sexual Imposition

[lriggnatsum]

Okay. I have gone to a therapist. I guess all of these answer you all are providing me have caused me to really think about things. I have some more questions though. If I go to the police, do my parents have to know what happened if nothing is done about it? If I file a police report and they can't do anything, does it just go away or will he know that I told them? What happens once I tell the police, do they call and tell me if the DA is going to proceed with it or will it just happen? Also, do you think that it would help if the DA knows that I don't think I am the only one he did this to?

 

[stuckinlamad]

Sorry for taking so long to get back

You are an adult. The choice to tell your parents is your choice. The police are not allowed to tell your parents anything. I can't tell you what the police will do with the report or what will happen each case is different. I do know that because you are an adult you do not have to inform the parents even though it happened when you were 16 you are making the report as an adult. I don't know your parents or the relationship you have with them. Sometime it can be harder for women to tell their parents what happened then to tell a therapist or the police because you will not have to see those people again if you don't want to. Tell the police if you fear that the person who attacked you will retaliate against you and that you don't want your name given to your attacker unless charges are going to be filed. If you feel like he has done this to other people tell the police the other people may have reported him but didn't know his name. They will search their database for matching cases. Once you make the report they may call you back in for additional questions and you may or may not have to testify at the trail if there is one. Which is why I recommend you telling your parents. It is important to have an emotional support to fall back on when this is happening. This is a very stressfull time. Have you told your boyfriend about this yet or no. I don't know how long you have been dating but he is a police officer and can give you information I can't.

I live in Italy at the moment my husband is US Navy. So I am 6 hours before EST. Please know that I will keep checking on this thread but I may be asleep when you post. Thanks

 

[lriggnatsum]

...

Thanks for all of your help. I have a good relationship with my parents, but I don't feel comfortable telling them about this. I guess you're right about having to see them every day. I feel like I've let them down or something, even though I know it wasn't my fault. They never really liked the guy anyway. My boyfriend, who I've been with for two years, does know about it because I told him a few months into our relationship, which I was glad that I did because when it almost happened again when my "friend" was there, I was able to turn to him for support instead of felling like I had to hide it. The guy who did this dated the other girl that I think he did this to, so I am sure she knows him. I am afraid of him and intimidated by him and he knows it. I am afraid of him knowing that I reported him, but I don't think he'd come after me or anything. You have made some good points, now I just need to decide if I want to speak up. I am just so afraid. The guy even told me that he only stayed in the relationship after that happened because he thought he got me pregnant. I was too afraid to stop him when it happened and too afraid to break up with him after it happened. He ended up dumping me for my best friend. I tried to warn her, but she won't listen and she still hangs out with him, so I stopped talking to her. She keeps saying, "He won't do that to me," but if he was desperate enough to do all of that with her sitting right beside us, then he'll stop at nothing. He's sick and I want him to stay away from me. The only times I see him now is when I run into out places, and normally I'm fine, but when I saw him at the mall, he purposely tried to intimidate me and it really scared me. It made me wonder what he would have done if my boyfriend weren't there.

Once again, thank you for all of your help and anymore advise from anyone would be much appreciated.