Daughter does not want to visit dad

[jslopez711]

What is the name of your state? FL

My ex who is contempt right now(we are waiting on a court date) for not paying CS, reimbursement of medical, not having insurance, keeping the kids longer than court ordered, and a few more minor issues. He changes jobs and cities like the wind then we have to modify the agreement which he doesn't follow anyway. The latest situation was he kept the children 6 and 5 a day longer than what was court ordered. I found this out when he slid an itinerary in my mailbox. I did call the police when he did not return them and filed contempt charges. Well, something happened that weekend to my daughter. My kids go to thier counselor--to have someone else to talk to. Dad goes months without seeing them, and just recently started following the court order of "every three weeks from Saturday to Monday morning". Well, since that weekend she has refused to go back with him. I took her to the counselor (and invited him--but he couldn't make it) and she told her counselor that she asked her dadd and new wife if she could call me and they said, NO. then she asked to go home, and they said, No. Then she started crying and she was put in the corner.

Our counselor was not happy, and wants to talk to him, but he does not want to cooperate. He feels this is his visitation and she should go kicking and screaming.

There is more to this, without going into details....he does not have a home and they live out of hotel rooms when he has the kids. So there is no stability whatsoever.

My question....do I have to let her go kicking and screaming. She has lost her trust and security with him, and he has no intention of fixing it. Has anyone else had to deal with this? I've offered to have him come over and play, take her to the park for an hour, etc...but all I get are excuses from him.

Thanks!!

Be a good parent and talk to your kids.

 

[elf]

I seriously doubt that your child is given the right to call you anytime that she wants

Just to let you know Tigger....
A court order can state that...mine sure does!!

 

[tigger22472]

I seriously doubt that your child is given the right to call you anytime that she wants

Just to let you know Tigger....
A court order can state that...mine sure does!!

ok.. and that's enforced how???

 

[CJane]

I seriously doubt that your child is given the right to call you anytime that she wants

Just to let you know Tigger....
A court order can state that...mine sure does!!

Really? Just for grins, please let us know exactly what it says. Because I seriously doubt it says "The shall be allowed to call the other parent at their whim."

It sure would be a lot more normal for it to say something like "The each parent shall be allowed telephone access with the parent not exercising a custodial period at all reasonable times."

 

[elf]

Really? Just for grins, please let us know exactly what it says. Because I seriously doubt it says "The shall be allowed to call the other parent at their whim."

It sure would be a lot more normal for it to say something like "The each parent shall be allowed telephone access with the parent not exercising a custodial period at all reasonable times."

"Each parent shall allow telephone access to the child if the child feels the need to contact the other parent for any reason. Further more, each parent shall be allowed phone contact the child when the child is not in their care provided that it is during decent hours."

We had a GAL appointed to our case and she helped us come to agreements on the orders and assisted us with preparing them. This was stipulated in our orders and we both agreed on it.

I thought that this website was supposed to give "LEGAL ADVICE", but obviously not. There are some people here that actually have given some wonderful advice and links to help, but I have found out that a good majority of people here are just judgemental idiots that obviously don't have lives. Yes, people are on the internet broadcasting their problems and you can only give "advice" on what you are told of a situation....but what I've noticed by reading numerous threads is that all of those judgemental idiots (as stated above) don't care about helping anyone, they just like causing drama and get pissy attitudes when someone who actually needs help calls them on it.

 

[CJane]

"Each parent shall allow telephone access to the child if the child feels the need to contact the other parent for any reason. Further more, each parent shall be allowed phone contact the child when the child is not in their care provided that it is during decent hours."

You do realize that this isn't the same thing as 'whenever they want', right? Would you suggest that when Dad is driving down the road with kid and kid says "I want to call mommy!" that if dad doesn't pull over and let the kid use a pay phone, he'd be in contempt?

It also makes a difference that you and you ex agreed to these things out of court and then had it entered as an agreed order. Judges sign off on some pretty wacky stuff for out of court agreements.

Again, in MOST orders that include standard language and are not part of out of court agreements, the phrasing is much closer to what I posted if it's included at all. The reason the phrasing of yours, or anything resembling what you implied in your other post, would not (in all liklihood) be granted is because 1) it's impossible to enforce and 2) y'all would be in court on unprovable contempt charges every time the kid got mad. The judge doesn't WANT to see you again.

 

[LdiJ]

I would like to suggest that if this counselor is court ordered, as mom stated, then this situation may be a little different than the norm in terms of following the counselor's suggestions. Quite often court ordered counselors have some authority to make temporary changes.....and if not, then their opinions weigh heavily with the judge.

Since mom's attorney seems to feel that things are being handled appropriately, then perhaps they are. Otherwise, we could reasonably assume that mom's attorney would be giving her different advice.

 

[texastepmom]

ok.. and that's enforced how???

a friend of mine is court ordered to have her son call his father every day at a certain time, i think it's 7 or 7:30... i don't know how it is enforced, but if she doesn't call him and put the boy on the phone (he is 4) dad throws a fit. couldn't he just document not having that phone call on his phone records? I have no idea if he is required to call her when thier son is visiting the father.

 

[CJane]

a friend of mine is court ordered to have her son call his father every day at a certain time, i think it's 7 or 7:30... i don't know how it is enforced,

That's sort of the point. A 'whenever they want' or even 'reasonable times' or 'at the child's request' is almost impossible to enforce because it's either impossible to prove that the kid wanted (or didn't want) to call, or that the times were what the other parent considers reasonable, or whatever. Which is why exact times are best, as is outlining who does the calling.

 

[texastepmom]

right, op stated that the daughter was to call her at 7pm...

 

[tigger22472]

right, op stated that the daughter was to call her at 7pm...

But the OP did not state that the time it was denied was that particular time... that makes a big difference too. If the child is to talk to the mother once a day already there should be no need for any other time. From the dad's point of view, he has the right to parent the child the way he sees fit and if for instance this child thinks that she needd to call mommy cuz daddy was being mean her doesn't mean that he has to let her.

 

[Ohiogal]

"Each parent shall allow telephone access to the child if the child feels the need to contact the other parent for any reason. Further more, each parent shall be allowed phone contact the child when the child is not in their care provided that it is during decent hours."

We had a GAL appointed to our case and she helped us come to agreements on the orders and assisted us with preparing them. This was stipulated in our orders and we both agreed on it.

I thought that this website was supposed to give "LEGAL ADVICE", but obviously not. There are some people here that actually have given some wonderful advice and links to help, but I have found out that a good majority of people here are just judgemental idiots that obviously don't have lives. Yes, people are on the internet broadcasting their problems and you can only give "advice" on what you are told of a situation....but what I've noticed by reading numerous threads is that all of those judgemental idiots (as stated above) don't care about helping anyone, they just like causing drama and get pissy attitudes when someone who actually needs help calls them on it.

What does your wording have to do with the original poster's wording unless you traded usernames which only goes to confuse. And if you are the same as the original poster -- well you got your legal advice. And if you are NOT the OP then you should not be hijacking this thread.