daughter needs hardship discharge

[Shaye]

What is the name of your state? MISSISSIPPI-me
Texas- for her
My daughter got divorced while on leave to relocate her family to Ft. Hood. Her ex-husband is NOT the father of her two children. I kept the 7 year old w/me to put him in school where I live, not knowing what his mother is going to do about a Family Care Plan. She has her 4yr. old daughter with her, off base. Household goods were shipped by (now)ex-husband, and papers needed to arrange day care have vanished. My daughter's Squad Leader has ordered her to report for duty, and is not concerned that this 4 year old child will be with her. I need help here. I cared for her children while she was in basic, and in AIT, because her worthless husband would not....I cannot take these children on full-time. They need too much medically, and emotionally, for me to handle them in my present state of health. She needs help with her depression, she needs guidance about how to get a discharge, or **************or,what? She just signed a lease for off-post housing, and has not even had her furniture delivered yet. What can she do to get her children in a stable home?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

What is the name of your state? MISSISSIPPI-me
Texas- for her
My daughter got divorced while on leave to relocate her family to Ft. Hood. Her ex-husband is NOT the father of her two children. I kept the 7 year old w/me to put him in school where I live, not knowing what his mother is going to do about a Family Care Plan. She has her 4yr. old daughter with her, off base. Family care plan for her? Is this the Step Dad we a speaking of?

Household goods were shipped by (now)ex-husband, and papers needed to arrange day care have vanished. Sorry, you are loosing me here.

My daughter's Squad Leader has ordered her to report for duty, and is not concerned that this 4 year old child will be with her. That is not the concern of the military , but it is the concern of your daughters.

I need help here. I cared for her children while she was in basic, and in AIT, because her worthless husband would not....I cannot take these children on full-time. They need too much medically, and emotionally, for me to handle them in my present state of health. She needs help with her depression, she needs guidance about how to get a discharge, or **************or,what? She just signed a lease for off-post housing, and has not even had her furniture delivered yet. What can she do to get her children in a stable home?

Let it go, you stated yourself you cannot handle this, so let her.

 

[Shaye]

yes, he is (or was) the stepfather. Biological father is unknown. My reference to "papers" is because she(my daughter) cannot get the child registered in a daycare program without birth cert., shot record, etc., which were not packed onto the moving truck, or with the family. We have no idea what he did with most important papers, and he doesn't answer questions. Evidence that he never divorced his first wife surfaced during the move, and I believe he is running scared....ANYWAY. My daughter is coming apart as we speak--I fear for her, and especially my granddaughter. My daughter is frozen by fear, depression, and Lord knows what else. Can anyone suggest someone that I (yes, ME) can contact to initiate crisis intervention? I do not want this job, but I cannot ignore the mental state that my daughter is in. She is overwhelmed, and just sits in her empty house crying. She needs to be at sick call, but she is too scared to go. Isn't there someone I can call to check on her.?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Call her squad, but be prepared that she may be put in the hospital for depression.

 

[Lightarms]

Well what I can say is. She needs to bring this up with her chain of command first for help and give them a chance to solve the problem. It's her team leaders, squad leaders and all her upper NCOs should care about her welfare. It's part of the NCO creed that they should live by to remind them.

Now, if her chain of command fails to do anything about this situation she can file a complaint/grievance with the IG because that would be absoultly BS on her NCOs side not to do anything at all.

I would suggest she talk with IG and JAG for "advice." A chaplain can help her too with this problem and with any other problems as he is not only a man of religion but a counselor for people too.

I strongly suggest if your daughter is suffering from depression to immediatly go to Mental Health, or Behaviorl Health. Whatever they call it on your post. For therapy and anti depressants if needed. Depression is very common in a lot of people in the states and especially in the military and most times in the military the person with the problems never get help because of the "stigma" associated with going to Mental Health and "myths" that people hear about it and what happens.

 

[SHORTY LONG]

About her Birth Certificate, you can search the State she was born
in, and search its Vital Statistics Department on how to obtain a Copy;
and about the Shots, you will need to find out where they were given
at, and go from there!

 

[Shaye]

Humanitarian Re-Assignment?

thank you for responding- we have sent for papers, and they are on the way. I contacted the Post Chaplain, and he has been in touch w/daughter. Does anyone know anything about Humanitarian Re-assignment? We live outside Memphis, Tn.--no active bases nearby, but daughter has medical training(not her MOS) that she might could use at V.A. hospital--is this a possibility? I do appreciate everyone's efforts-I don't feel quite so helpless now.

 

[SHORTY LONG]

The Humanitarian Re-assignment first is very difficult to get;
second, before you both get your hopes up, it will take a lot of
doing to get her approved. Certainly the Chaplin is very good
to have for her support. I suggest if no one else in here shed's
light on the "Humanitarian Re-assignment" for her to get in
touch with the GI Hotline at 1-800-394-9544 for more
information on this. What I do know is that she will have to
go through the ringer to prove that the Humanitarian Re-assignment
is warranted and justified, which means lots and lots of paper
work and verifications etc. Best of luck in helping her and your
grandchild.

 

[IrishLady47]

Based on what you have posted, I'm going to assume your daughter is an Army enlisted soldier. If so, it is highly unlikely she would qualify for a compassionate reassignment UP AR 614-200 based on the facts you have posted.

Right now, she should seek immediate medical assistance and find out counseling services available on the post. She should speak to her unit chaplain also and let her chain of command know what is going on. No one can help her if she doesn't ask for help. No one in the unit has a crystal ball.

However, to remain in the military she is going to have to develop a valid Family Care Plan for BOTH of her children, unless you have legal custody of the 7 year old. This is far more than just finding day care. Someone must agree to care for the children for deployments, unaccompanied tours, etc. To have a successful military career, a single parent needs a lot of support from friends & family--far more than a single parent in a civilian occupation.

Without assistance, sometimes being in the military and being a parent are not compatible. There are both voluntary and involuntary provisions for separation from active duty due to parenthood. If the situation does not improve after counseling and medical assistance, she should speak to her NCOIC/unit commander/unit personnel sergeant about discharge options.

 

[Shaye]

thanks

Thanks to all of you. I contacted her commanding officer MYSELF. I can't be sure of her mind-set, but the c.o. took the ball and ran with it. Household goods are being delivered Thurs., day care center has agreed to accept the child, and wait for paperwork to arrive, and, IF she is being honest, some acceptable form of discharge is in the works(or at least, in their minds). Not exactly perfect ending,but somebody has to raise these children. Thank you, again.

 

[SHORTY LONG]

I hope everything goes well, and works out for you all!