Daughter shown legal docs

[hearttornfl1]

What is the name of your state? Florida

My ex supplied our daughter with legal docs regarding our custody and child support cases. She is only 12 and is very confused about why he did this. I told her not to worry about such things, that the adults will take care of this matter... What can I legally do to stop him from giving her anything or mentioning things about our case in the future to her?

 

[BL]

If he continues to put the Child in the middle , If and when you go to Court again , bring it to the Courts attention , and Have it Ordered that the child not be put in the middle , and request the Court to admonish the Parties of it .

That way there will be NO excuse , because the Court will ask if the Parties understand . It will be made clear .

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state? Florida

My ex supplied our daughter with legal docs regarding our custody and child support cases. She is only 12 and is very confused about why he did this. I told her not to worry about such things, that the adults will take care of this matter... What can I legally do to stop him from giving her anything or mentioning things about our case in the future to her?

My husband's ex did the same thing, which was bad enough, then she actually had the kids write letters to the Judge, calling thier Father a liar and all kinds of terrible things. We agree with you, those matters are for the adults to deal with, and any parent that puts the children in the middle that way is not a good parent, and, in my opinion is guilty of emotional abuse. Unfortunately, my husband was never able to do anything about it (probably because there wasn't any custody/visitation orders or issues).

However, in your situation something can be done. Blonde is correct, also this will come into play in any custody matters. If you have an attorney, be sure to tell him/her about it. The court should know about it also.
It might help (not just in the legal case, but also for your daughter) to get some counseling for your daughter.

 

[hearttornfl1]

Thanks...

State - Florida

Thanks... I have spoken to my attorney about it. I just wish I could make him stop putting her in the middle of all of this...

 

[stealth2]

Here's the problem.... How do you prove that he's doing it? Put the kid on the stand - which places her smack dab in the middle of her parents' issues. Exactly what you're trying to avoid, right?

 

[turkeydinner]

I can see the other side of the table on this one.....and I know lots will NOT AGREE..but here's what we have done...

We went and seen a parenting coordinator..(court order for all parties) and she has said that the older two children are old enought to know things about the case, and that I should sit down with them and explain some things to them.... as of right now all they know is what mom has fed them..and the PC thinks it might do some good for them to learn more than just what mom's side is. I have ALWAYS told them NOT worry about the court procedings and she has alwys said things first off not true and then things that they just shouldn't know and hear...so now the kids buy her crap and I'm left with the short end of the stick where my kids think I'm the bad guy...so our next step is to get them into the PC office and I will be telling them the truth of some things...right now I'm afrain I waited TOO long.....she has oldest one thinking I'm trying to throw her in jail......and that it's all on me...when SHE is the one in CONTEMPT..she's doing this and so am I suppose to allow him to thik I'm the one throwing her in jail?? Or that she MADE the CHOICE to break the law.

 

[BL]

I'm not sure about FL. , but in the State I reside in , Statements made by the child ( in my girlfriend's case , to her - of course to me to ) , ARE admissible into evidence , as the Child IS the subject of the hearings .

Document what your child tells you , Dates , Etc .

If this is having an Emotional impact on the child , get the child into Mental Health therapy . Eventually the therapist reports will enter into the court hearings .

 

[stealth2]

FL requires a motion requesting a child be allowed to testify as well as a hearing in that regard - and then a court order. I would expect the other attorney to object very strenuously to allowing hearsay evidence such as you describe, BL.

 

[LdiJ]

I can see the other side of the table on this one.....and I know lots will NOT AGREE..but here's what we have done...

We went and seen a parenting coordinator..(court order for all parties) and she has said that the older two children are old enought to know things about the case, and that I should sit down with them and explain some things to them.... as of right now all they know is what mom has fed them..and the PC thinks it might do some good for them to learn more than just what mom's side is. I have ALWAYS told them NOT worry about the court procedings and she has alwys said things first off not true and then things that they just shouldn't know and hear...so now the kids buy her crap and I'm left with the short end of the stick where my kids think I'm the bad guy...so our next step is to get them into the PC office and I will be telling them the truth of some things...right now I'm afrain I waited TOO long.....she has oldest one thinking I'm trying to throw her in jail......and that it's all on me...when SHE is the one in CONTEMPT..she's doing this and so am I suppose to allow him to thik I'm the one throwing her in jail?? Or that she MADE the CHOICE to break the law.

Wow...I most emphatically DO NOT agree with that. That makes you and the parenting coordinator no better than mom. In my opinion the ONLY way something like that could ever be in the best interest of a child would be if it took place in a therapy/counseling session.

What's more, if mom does go to jail you might have lied to your child. The bottom line is that the judge probably won't send mom to jail unless you want mom sent to jail. If you ask the judge to impose some other sort of punishment the judge is very likely to comply with your wishes.

 

[turkeydinner]

Wow...I most emphatically DO NOT agree with that. That makes you and the parenting coordinator no better than mom. In my opinion the ONLY way something like that could ever be in the best interest of a child would be if it took place in a therapy/counseling session.

What's more, if mom does go to jail you might have lied to your child. The bottom line is that the judge probably won't send mom to jail unless you want mom sent to jail. If you ask the judge to impose some other sort of punishment the judge is very likely to comply with your wishes.

Actully it is a counseling session as the PC is a couselor... and it's not going to be "hey your mom's a **** and she's done this and this... I'm not attacking thier mother..I WILL be defending MYSELF.......

And as for lying to them...NO I'M NOT..I have NEVER asked that she go to jail..but she of course isn't telling them that......I have only asked for what the court has already granted me and thats time with my kids.....and they know she is refusing THEY know they are suppose to be coming over....at what point do they get to see that I WANT TO SEE THEM..and that mom is controlling the situation....that's all I'll be telling them.....about ME and that she can't and won't push me out of their lives...

 

[stealth2]

I have to agree w/LDi. "She did it first" is never a great defense. You're both putting the kid(s) in the middle - grow up and cut it out, turkeydude.

 

[LdiJ]

Actully it is a counseling session as the PC is a couselor... and it's not going to be "hey your mom's a **** and she's done this and this... I'm not attacking thier mother..I WILL be defending MYSELF.......

And as for lying to them...NO I'M NOT..I have NEVER asked that she go to jail..but she of course isn't telling them that......I have only asked for what the court has already granted me and thats time with my kids.....and they know she is refusing THEY know they are suppose to be coming over....at what point do they get to see that I WANT TO SEE THEM..and that mom is controlling the situation....that's all I'll be telling them.....about ME and that she can't and won't push me out of their lives...

Whew! Ok, that sounds a lot safer! You had me seriously confused for a moment.

 

[stealth2]

Maybe this is a good time for this to go to a new thread? 'Cause I'd like to know the ages of the kids before I make further comment.

 

[BL]

FL requires a motion requesting a child be allowed to testify as well as a hearing in that regard - and then a court order. I would expect the other attorney to object very strenuously to allowing hearsay evidence such as you describe, BL.

Stealth2 , I was referring to my girlfriend's case in NY here , with grandma .

The child was definitely NOT going to testify , the Judge made that clear .

The other side however in their motion argued the Statements by the child to the mother were hearsay ,( we filed in an affidavit ) , and also mentioned in the Lawyers affidavits . In an answer by my girlfriend's Lawyer , he argued the statement were NOT hearsay , as the child is the subject of the hearing .

The court agreed .

Also the child was in therapy , and their report as well was helpful .

Also, the Court approved a Court Ordered psychological eval . hired by that side , which backfired on them

Eventually orders of not putting the Child in the middle and No derogatory talk to or in front of the Child were ordered .


She couldn't keep her trap shut , and after about 4 contempt Petitions lost her visits .

 

[stealth2]

Dude - your g/f's kid in NY has nothing whatsoever to do with OP's kid in FL, now does it? If you're going to use it to prove a point, make sure it applies to the OP's state, eh?