denial od medical care?

[speedcam]

denial of medical care?... thoughts please

wisconsin, first off let me say i had told my wife SHE NEEDS to handle this and that i would support what ever she decides to do as i can not do anything about it.

my wife wanted me to ask if her ex denied medical care for one of their children for two weeks after we had informed him of a problem with the child and instructed that he and her were to follow up per order of the attending ER doc, if it would be considered denial of medical care. Saturday after he had not brought the boy to the doc after 3 different appointments that he asked her to set up, she finally took him. they have done blood work, a neurological exam and aslo had a CT scan ordered right away(that day). we now have to have him have a EKG done ASAP. as of right now they are telling us he is having seizures, and over the past 2 weeks have gotten worse.we originally took him in to get looked at on a Saturday night.( again two weeks ago). we had informed the childs ex last night when he came to pick the kids up and he told us that he has not seen him do anything so it must be something we do at our house. but yet their daughter told both of them that she saw him doing it at summer school last week. can we go for TCO and or modification of custody because of this and would this be a good time to hit him with the contempt issue for non payment of bills order through the court? if he is having the seizures like they are stating that would mean he is having hundreds per day since in a 15minute period we had counted 25 times.

any other thoughts on this matter?( oh , the father also told the boy that if he goes on medicine that he would not be able to play, run around or ride his bike like a child should be able to do so it would be the best for him to say he is doing it for attention)

almost forgot to mention that we are also in the predicument that the father does not work due to back injury and is supposed to go in for surgery but have no ides when this is. he also stated that he is broke and has no money to take the child to the doctor. we have the child insured and he also has state aid for medical coverage. but just got back from being up north with his GF.


thanks in advance

 

[speedcam]

on another note... their court papers state times their respective days start and end. his day, according to the paperwork, started at 7:30am, he did not call or show up until 12:30 in the afternoon. ( this happens constantly,if he shows up at all that day) would this not be failure to use his 50/50%?
just curious on this one......... thanks though!

 

[speedcam]

HMMM.......... must be a tough topic. guess we'll see what the actual attorney says.

 

[snodderly]

She does need to act....

If she is sitting around waiting for him to get medical attention for the child then she is also denying the child the medical attention he needs isn't she?

I'm a mother. In a situation like this I would make the appointment and then if the father refused to take the child I would take the child. It's basic instinct. Get the child the medical attention he needs and then worry about what to do legally as far as the father's refusal to co-operate.

If there have been 3 missed appointments then she is just as responsible as the father and I'm thinking that is the way the courts would view it. As for non-payment of bills....call an attorney and have her/him file with the courts. No time is better than the present time.
snodderly

 

[speedcam]

If she is sitting around waiting for him to get medical attention for the child then she is also denying the child the medical attention he needs isn't she?

*** we waited to hear from him because it was his days of visitation and he had asked us to make the appointments for him. she was not waiting for him to supply the medical attention, we took him to the ER and the next day was the fathers day, we told him what the doc had said and that he needed to be followed up on.


I'm a mother. In a situation like this I would make the appointment and then if the father refused to take the child I would take the child. It's basic instinct. Get the child the medical attention he needs and then worry about what to do legally as far as the father's refusal to co-operate.

*** we did take the child, we have taken the child to every one of the appointments WE have made during their mothers days. they have 50/50 custody and placement. i noticed the issue and recommended she take the child in to the ER.

If there have been 3 missed appointments then she is just as responsible as the father and I'm thinking that is the way the courts would view it. As for non-payment of bills....call an attorney and have her/him file with the courts. No time is better than the present time.
snodderly

**** we can not just go over to his house and take the child so we can not just take the child in when it is his court ordered days. we have fulfilled our end, we have supplied the child with medical and still are(he goes in Wednesday for the EKG) and we have informed the "father" what is to be done and was ordered by the attending doctor for each appointment.
thanks for thoughts though. let me make this clear THE FATHER WILL NOT AND DOES NOT TAKE THE CHILD TO THE DOC, HE INSISTS IT SOMETHING GOING ON AT OUR HOUSE and that he "is just doing this for attention".

 

[MBMom]

I have no legal advice only an example of a situation similar. You would think that something like this would be enough to be addressed and something done about it. Common sense, right? I've come to learn that many times the law (or what comes of it) can be anything but.

I know of a situation where a mother and father were divorced and shared custody of their son and daughter. The son was in a wheelchair with a severe bowel problem that required his bowel to be "cleaned" out by someone. This was the responsibility of whichever parent was caring for him at the time. Both parents were well aware of his problem, yet the mom could do nothing to get the dad to do his part while his son was in his care. The mom constantly called, wrote letters, emailed, etc reminders fearing the dad wouldn't do his part. Eventually, during a week visit with their dad, the boy ended up dying from impaction, which could've been prevented had the dad done what he was supposed to do.

The mom took the dad to court for modification of visitation of their daughter, who had severe asthma problems and required daily treatments. This dad was one the stand admitting that even the night before he had failed to do his daughter's treatment! Obviously the dad didn't think his children priority enough to take proper care of them. Well, good ol' Judge...he modified the time alright! He modified to time allowing MORE visitation. Reasoning? The daughter will need her parents that much more after the tragedy of losing her brother. BS!

It's so sad sometimes to see how things turn out. I certainly hope for your sake your Judge see's what the heck is going on and makes your wife's ex get off his a** and realize just how precious and important his son is. You either want responsibility of your child or you don't. It's that simple!

 

[frylover]

MBMom, I think I am going to be sick. They should put idiots like that UNDER the jail (the dad AND the judge!)

 

[MBMom]

Are you kidding? Even better...this is MY Judge.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

ok never mind my idea from the other post

Are you kidding? Even better...this is MY Judge.

YIKES! Are you kidding me? Well the whole idea about the recording phonecall thing may work on your ex but with a judge like this I don't know if I would put the recordings up in front of him. I thought my fiances' judge was bad. H's judge is a unbiased perfect all knowing defender of justice compared to your judge. Good luck.

 

[frylover]

I agree--YIKES!

 

[MBMom]

Thanks. I don't have to worry about my son not being loved or taken care of when it comes to being with his dad. We're both just fighting over who gets him school year and summers/holidays. My case isn't near as bad as many I've read about on this site. You're right though....I'm terrified of this Judge. You have to be VERY careful not to say anything that will piss him off. He's very wishy washy and his decisions seem to waiver back and forth according to who he likes more at that moment. I've heard from four different attorneys about certain cases they've had in front of him INCLUDING my ex's attorney, and you'd be surprised to hear what rulings he's come up with. Each attorney I've talked to has shaken their head in that "Too bad for you" sort of way...real encouraging. Two even said, "Well, he won't be on the bench much longer." Well that doesn't help MY case! So much has shocked me though, that I've come to point where sometimes I have to laugh and think, WHY? and pray to God things turn out okay.

Once you go to court, it's no longer in your hands.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

Ain't that the truth

It's amazing no matter how much you prepare its all up to someone else. We are fighting the same fight school year v summer or at least will be next june. My SD doesn't start school until next August. She also doesn't suffer a lack of love. I personally think she handles this all better than any of us! We have a judge that threatened to throw my fiance in jail for non-payment (only because he was getting it lowered all the papers had been filed for over a year and it kept getting continued and then transferred. The first time we see this judge he says I will see you in a month you better have 5K or I will put you in jail. We were so scared we came up with it and showed up. He heard my fiances argument has to why it should be lowered and how far back. He orders Clearinghouse to pay us back like 4900 of the 5K because child support got lowered to $3 per month (we have the child 50%) of the time. First he wants to send my fiance to jail then turns around and starts telling the CP that she puposely drug out the modification knowing this would be the final decision and charged her back all the fees we got charged when she brought contempt charges. Next time we see the judge he tells both parties to work it out amongst themselves and doesn't want to see them again unless its an emergency until a year from now for modifying the custody for school (child is 4 hours away) Whatever this male judge is more menstral than any woman I have ever met. Anyway hope your judge sees that your ex is NOT doing right by his son. Or maybe your ex will see it. Good luck and God Bless

 

[stealth2]

Smurf - actually the CS decision is perfectly rational. Regardless of the reasons for the delay in the modification (mine has been ongoing for over 18 months), your fiance was in contempt of the then current order - it was not up to him to modify what he was paying on his own. He was required to pay the ordered amount until the judge told him otherwise. The judge basically gave him a smack-down for defying the order. Once the judge heard the case and ruled, he made it retroactive to the filing date and refunded the money paid - which was extremely fair of him.

 

[speedcam]

ok so i know no one can tell what a judge is going to do or say, but from what i am reading hear it does sound like we have a case and that we can take him. am i reading correctly? again she is thinking about modification of custody and placement, contempt for past orders ( according to this order he would also have to pay child support) but she may just ask for the child support to be closed since he is not working and we make a little more anyhow, and finally she is contemplating supervised visitations.

thanks again to everyone
MB..... that one nasty judge......... i wish you all the luck!

speed

 

[SMURFEELAW]

stealth2

Trust me when I say I agree whole heartedly! I really got at my fiance for not paying because the court ordered it. The ex just continued to ask for continuance and even denied that he had the child 50% of the time, even though we had the court order and the pre-school receipts. My fiance was wrong but we had all this proof and at the time he was out of work for a back injury so couldn't afford it. He almost went to jail. Thank god his parents knew he was getting shafted they gave him the $ about 20 minutes before the hearing. My fiance said all the samr things he said at the original trial and then the judge lowers to 3$. That I thought was rude and a smack to the ex. Anyway I was just commenting on how a judge seems to be seeing your side on one court date and the whole otherside on the next. We don't even bother to try to predict what this judge will do anymore we just hope all goes well until we have to go for custody next year. How is your case taking 18 months? That seems like a very long time. Good luck to you.