Desperate for help

[Boots or Bows]

I didn’t say that it was proven through the court! I said it was proven through testing!

 

[not2cleverRed]

The peramiters to get my children back where already met which is why I have them back now. They only thing is the temporary custody thing which is only in place bc they cannot find my ex and want t g

Good. As I said before, I didn't want to automatically assume that there were no restrictions. Sometimes people omit key things... Like, their meth habit.

I never said I did nothing wrong. All I want to know is if my step father can do that. There was no adultery prior. Ex and I have been separated since October but living separately since January

Adultery doesn't make you unfit. It's not something I'd do in your situation, because I don't have enough energy to focus on more than one thing at a time, and the kids have been through a lot.

Your stepfather can report his concerns to CPS, but it is in the hands of a caseworker to determine whether there's any merit to what he thinks is concerning. If your stepfather is in the habit of making frivolous complaints to CPS, you might consider distancing yourself and the children from such toxicity.

Unless there is something unusual going on in your life, merely being pregnant would not be cause to remove your children. If you are healthy, the pregnancy is uneventful, and your kids are thriving back with you, then relax a little.

Jesus F’ing Christ! I didn’t say that it was proven through the court! I said it was proven through testing! How about instead of jumping down my throat you leave bc obviously you’re not going to give advice. You are going to bitch and moan about something you know nothing about. Thank you

What was proven through testing?

I've looked through your posts and can't figure out what you mean.

Paternity wouldn't make sense. We know that biologically the baby is not your husbands. However, *legally* it is. This is something that will have to be dealt with in your divorce, in court.

 

[Ohiogal]

I didn’t say that it was proven through the court! I said it was proven through testing!

Nice language.

LEGALLY your husband is the father of the child. THAT IS FACT. This is a legal site. Not one for foul mouthed ignorant souls who want to throw tantrums when they don't get told what they want to hear.
Second, your husband's parental rights WILL NOT/HAVE NOT been terminated because he is not around. VA does not do that.
Third, seek an attorney to educate yourself. No one wants to deal with a rude OP.

 

[Ohiogal]

Good. As I said before, I didn't want to automatically assume that there were no restrictions. Sometimes people omit key things... Like, their meth habit.



Adultery doesn't make you unfit. It's not something I'd do in your situation, because I don't have enough energy to focus on more than one thing at a time, and the kids have been through a lot.

Your stepfather can report his concerns to CPS, but it is in the hands of a caseworker to determine whether there's any merit to what he thinks is concerning. If your stepfather is in the habit of making frivolous complaints to CPS, you might consider distancing yourself and the children from such toxicity.

Unless there is something unusual going on in your life, merely being pregnant would not be cause to remove your children. If you are healthy, the pregnancy is uneventful, and your kids are thriving back with you, then relax a little.



What was proven through testing?

I've looked through your posts and can't figure out what you mean.

Paternity wouldn't make sense. We know that biologically the baby is not your husbands. However, *legally* it is. This is something that will have to be dealt with in your divorce, in court.

Paternity is what she was talking about with PROVING it through a test.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Paternity is what she was talking about with PROVING it through a test.

That's what I suspected. She really had no reason to flip out about that.

I could better understand her being upset with my comments. I still suspect that there is more to her story about why the kids ended up at grandma's for 9 months. And depending on what that "more" is, she could have to worry. There are a lot of people that are doing problematic things that still think that they're good devoted parents. There's a meth head in Iowa awaiting trial for murdering her son, after he was left in a babyswing for a week - her Facebook page at the time of her arrest described her as "Full Time Mom <3."

We've had plenty of parents post about what a great parent they are. While most of what they type is not relevant, legally, you at least get the impression that they are thinking a little about the kid(s). There was none of that here. There is nothing about how her kids are better with her, just concern about how/if her pregnancy could affect custody. Something doesn't add up for me.

As to the adultery... Aside from the moral issue, and the legal issue, there is the parenting issue. If you are getting out of an abusive situation, you need to focus on yourself and your children, rather than getting a new man. Married or not, you're just not in an emotionally good place to be getting into another relationship, and musical daddies is a bad game.

 

[Ohiogal]

That's what I suspected. She really had no reason to flip out about that.

I could better understand her being upset with my comments. I still suspect that there is more to her story about why the kids ended up at grandma's for 9 months. And depending on what that "more" is, she could have to worry. There are a lot of people that are doing problematic things that still think that they're good devoted parents. There's a meth head in Iowa awaiting trial for murdering her son, after he was left in a babyswing for a week - her Facebook page at the time of her arrest described her as "Full Time Mom <3."

We've had plenty of parents post about what a great parent they are. While most of what they type is not relevant, legally, you at least get the impression that they are thinking a little about the kid(s). There was none of that here. There is nothing about how her kids are better with her, just concern about how/if her pregnancy could affect custody. Something doesn't add up for me.

As to the adultery... Aside from the moral issue, and the legal issue, there is the parenting issue. If you are getting out of an abusive situation, you need to focus on yourself and your children, rather than getting a new man. Married or not, you're just not in an emotionally good place to be getting into another relationship, and musical daddies is a bad game.

I totally understand what you are saying. We don't know her criminal history, the criminal history of her boyfriend, or when she last used drugs was. She claims she was a victim but I don't buy that. Because she apparently allowed her children to be subjected to said abuse. Even at that, VA is NOT going to terminate her husband's parental rights unless hers are also terminated. He may not have visitation or custody but I bet she expects to get money from him.