disestablishing paternity?

[CJane]

I don't disagree with anything that you have said....but I have to point out that mom and the child live in CA and legal dad moved to FL. He voluntarily separated himself from the child by the entire width of the country. That makes me question his devotion to the child....and could make a judge question it as well if paternity is challenged.

Yes, true. BUT, if I'm understanding the statute properly, the opportunity to challenge paternity has passed for everyone. Maybe I'm wrong about that.

However, from OP's post, I think that legal dad WANTS visitation, because she's whining about how it wouldn't be fair to let him have it because it would separate her other children from this child (and believe me, I know that it's difficult to work around children with different fathers). For all we know, OP was planning to move to FL with legal dad and backed out, and he went anyway.

OP should get the idea of disestablishing paternity out of her head and focus on best interest... and it cannot possibly be in this child's best interest to suddenly have a new daddy who is currently in prison and who made NO effort to determine if he was the father or not when the child was born.

 

[ceara19]

I don't disagree with anything that you have said....but I have to point out that mom and the child live in CA and legal dad moved to FL. He voluntarily separated himself from the child by the entire width of the country. That makes me question his devotion to the child....and could make a judge question it as well if paternity is challenged.

According to the MOTHER. I have serious doubts about many of her claims. The fact that she has repeatedly changed her reasoning each time someone points out that her "reasons" for keeping dad away are not valid.

SHE was the one served with custody papers by HIM. If her claims are true, the question would have been "Can he REALLY get custody since he chose to move across the country from the child?", not "How can I get rid of him all together?".

She still has yet to answer the question, WHAT IS THE REAL REASON BEHIND THIS? I know you are smart enough to see that she has yet to disclose her REAL motivation here.

 

[kimkar]

To answer your question

According to the MOTHER. I have serious doubts about many of her claims. The fact that she has repeatedly changed her reasoning each time someone points out that her "reasons" for keeping dad away are not valid.

SHE was the one served with custody papers by HIM. If her claims are true, the question would have been "Can he REALLY get custody since he chose to move across the country from the child?", not "How can I get rid of him all together?".

She still has yet to answer the question, WHAT IS THE REAL REASON BEHIND THIS? I know you are smart enough to see that she has yet to disclose her REAL motivation here.

The only motivation I have, is to be honest, yes, he has been very good to dd but he is not the real father, and before everything is settle in court, I want the court to know the truth, if I did not asked if he could get custody since he moved, was because as far as I know I have custody of her, now he has wanted visitation since he left or custody, but I have to take my chances at court, and to be honest I don't think he has any right to ask for anything because he is not her real father so until we go to court, and a judge either takes his name off the bc, or denies my motion I will not consider anything else.

 

[ceara19]

The only motivation I have, is to be honest, yes, he has been very good to dd but he is not the real father, and before everything is settle in court, I want the court to know the truth, if I did not asked if he could get custody since he moved, was because as far as I know I have custody of her, now he has wanted visitation since he left or custody, but I have to take my chances at court, and to be honest I don't think he has any right to ask for anything because he is not her real father so until we go to court, and a judge either takes his name off the bc, or denies my motion I will not consider anything else.

You just don't get it. He IS her REAL FATHER. YOU made him her REAL FATHER when you allowed him to sign the AOP and file it without contesting it.

The fact that you don't even have an attorney, means that in all likelihood, if dad does, your "information" won't even make it into evidence because according to the law, it is irrelevant at this point.

If you didn't want him to have any rights, you should have left well enough alone in the beginning when he didn't WANT to sign the AOP or you should have fessed up to your indiscretion when he was ready to sign it.

I don't know why you think that a court is going to REWARD you for your deception. Bringing up your "facts" in court is more likely to HURT your case then it is to HELP.

 

[kimkar]

You just don't get it. He IS her REAL FATHER. YOU made him her REAL FATHER when you allowed him to sign the AOP and file it without contesting it.

The fact that you don't even have an attorney, means that in all likelihood, if dad does, your "information" won't even make it into evidence because according to the law, it is irrelevant at this point.

If you didn't want him to have any rights, you should have left well enough alone in the beginning when he didn't WANT to sign the AOP or you should have fessed up to your indiscretion when he was ready to sign it.

I don't know why you think that a court is going to REWARD you for your deception. Bringing up your "facts" in court is more likely to HURT your case then it is to HELP.

Oh but I am going to get a lawyer, so that my information will be relevant, look, i know legally he is the father, but like I said before, I want the judge to know the truth, and as for deception, I never hided the fact that I had a relationship with my ex, so he always have know there was a big chance she was not his, and he still singed. I never lied to him

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Oh but I am going to get a lawyer, so that my information will be relevant, look, i know legally he is the father, but like I said before, I want the judge to know the truth, and as for deception, I never hided the fact that I had a relationship with my ex, so he always have know there was a big chance she was not his, and he still singed. I never lied to him

The time for you to have filed to establish, custody, paternity and visitaiton was 4 years ago, instead, rather than being honest that you didn't know which of the men were the father, you instead played both of them, now the legal father is filing to establish his rights, the court will consider your deception and fraud along with the other issues. Depending on the facts it is possible for the legal father to disestablish paternity based on your admitted and intentional fraud, you however to not have that option. What's more, if the legal dad has been paying your child support or something along those lines, he may also get some form of custody and visitation because of a de facto parent arangement and have no child support obligation, it is even possible that you could lose custody to him altogether based on your fraud. Insofar as obtaining an attorney, you better get out and get a job because legal aid doesn't represent you in these battles, although you may represent yourself, that is not advisable.

 

[ceara19]

Oh but I am going to get a lawyer, so that my information will be relevant, look, i know legally he is the father, but like I said before, I want the judge to know the truth, and as for deception, I never hided the fact that I had a relationship with my ex, so he always have know there was a big chance she was not his, and he still singed. I never lied to him

The information is irrelevant whether you have a lawyer or not. The only difference the lawyer will make is they MAY be able to actually tell the judge your story for the record. That doesn't change the fact that it is still useless information. As soon as you bring any of this up, if his lawyer is any good, the first thing he will do is object to you even telling your story at all.

The fact that he already KNEW there was a chance he wouldn't be the father only makes him look even BETTER! It also removes almost any chance of him being able to initiate disestablishing paternity because he was already aware and no fraud was committed on your part.

That only leaves the bio dad and he's in PRISON!

 

[stealth2]

What is truly sad is that you seemingly have no regard for your daughter or how your planned actions will rip her life apart. Poor baby.

 

[nextwife]

The only motivation I have, is to be honest, yes, he has been very good to dd but he is not the real father, .,..,....I don't think he has any right to ask for anything because he is not her real father so until we go to court, and a judge either takes his name off the bc, or denies my motion I will not consider anything else.

AS stated, you are confusing "biological father" with "legal father". These are NOT necesssarilly the same thing. The legal father is NOT always the biological father. And yes, the LEGAL father has EVERY right to ask for visitation.

Seems to me that you were perfectly happy accepting the legal father's role as father while you and he were together - you are ONLY wishing to dispute paternity due to the fact that he DARES to want to be more to the child, now, than be merely an ATM machine that pays support but remains out of the child's life.

My husband (and, for that matter, I, as well) aare NOT the biological parents of our child. Yet, we are her "real parents". WE are her legal parents,. we are the ones that loved, cared for and supported her. That makes us VERY "REAL" parents to her.

BTW- if dad is in jail, if you DID disestablish paternity- who were you planning to collect support from? Does your job pay so well that you can PROPERLY support this child with no help from anyone else - including no help form us taxpayers? And provide for their medical insurance and OOP medical costs and daycare costs?

 

[acmb05]

AS stated, you are confusing "biological father" with "legal father". These are NOT necesssarilly the same thing. The legal father is NOT always the biological father. And yes, the LEGAL father has EVERY right to ask for visitation.

Seems to me that you were perfectly happy accepting the legal father's role as father while you and he were together - you are ONLY wishing to dispute paternity due to the fact that he DARES to want to be more to the child, now, than be merely an ATM machine that pays support but remains out of the child's life.

My husband (and, for that matter, I, as well) aare NOT the biological parents of our child. Yet, we are her "real parents". WE are her legal parents,. we are the ones that loved, cared for and supported her. That makes us VERY "REAL" parents to her.

BTW- if dad is in jail, if you DID disestablish paternity- who were you planning to collecvt support from? Does your job pay so well that you can PROPERLY support this child with no help from anyone else - including no hlewp form us taxpayers? And provide for their medical insurance and OOP medical costs and daycare costs?

Well heckfire she don't even have a job. You can bet that state aid will be involved if it is not already.

 

[nextwife]

Betcha this dad, the one that was THERE for her kid, isn't getting any kinda card from his kiddo this Father's Day.

You're welcome, Dad.

 

[frylover]

Maybe she took the child to prison to visit her "real" daddy....the one who never gave a damn if she was his or not.

 

[kimkar]

Maybe she took the child to prison to visit her "real" daddy....the one who never gave a damn if she was his or not.

I think I need to make clear some things here, I have never taken my dd to see her bio dad, in fact, I am in a new reationship since about 3yrs. ago I have never taken any child support from legal dad, even though , he has offered it, the only help i have is medical for dd,now when I said he helped me alot, i mean that after he saigned the AOP, my dd would expended most of the time at his house, I would see her only on weekends, I was going through some rough time, and I needed help with dd, the only way he could give me some help was if he singed the AOP, he wasn't going to do it otherwise, and like I said before, he always knew there was a big possibility she wasn't hers, so you see, back then I felt I had no other choice, now everything is different, even though I am not working I am in a stable relationship, and my boyfriend and his family are very good to me and to my dd. After I have expained everything do you still think I have no chance at disestablishing paternity? and I if I don't, how do visitations work when the legal father is in another state?

 

[ceara19]

I think I need to make clear some things here, I have never taken my dd to see her bio dad, in fact, I am in a new reationship since about 3yrs. ago I have never taken any child support from legal dad, even though , he has offered it, the only help i have is medical for dd,now when I said he helped me alot, i mean that after he saigned the AOP, my dd would expended most of the time at his house, I would see her only on weekends, I was going through some rough time, and I needed help with dd, the only way he could give me some help was if he singed the AOP, he wasn't going to do it otherwise, and like I said before, he always knew there was a big possibility she wasn't hers, so you see, back then I felt I had no other choice, now everything is different, even though I am not working I am in a stable relationship, and my boyfriend and his family are very good to me and to my dd. After I have expained everything do you still think I have no chance at disestablishing paternity? and I if I don't, how do visitations work when the legal father is in another state?

Every time you give more information, you HURT your case even MORE. You didn't "LET" him sign the AOP so that he could help you by RAISING the child and being the SOLE FINANCIAL SUPPORT for the child. He signed the AOP in order to make sure the CHILD was taken care of and to protect the best interests of the CHILD, it didn't have a damn thing to do with YOU!

I'm sure that when the judge hears how you "let" this man RAISE the child because YOU couldn't or wouldn't do it and how you now want to take away his LEGAL rights as a thank you gift, the court will be sure to expedite the TPR in record time.

You need to go back and read everything that YOU have written. If you STILL can't figure out why you stand NO chance of getting his rights terminated and WHY everyone here has been so quick to tell you what a lousy parent you are for even TRYING, you don't deserve custody of ANY child.

We can only HOPE that you have had enough sense to have yourself permanently sterilized so this will NEVER happen again. If not, I'll be happy to take up a collect for you so you can. I'm sure I could come up with more then enough money in no time!

 

[kimkar]

Every time you give more information, you HURT your case even MORE. You didn't "LET" him sign the AOP so that he could help you by RAISING the child and being the SOLE FINANCIAL SUPPORT for the child. He signed the AOP in order to make sure the CHILD was taken care of and to protect the best interests of the CHILD, it didn't have a damn thing to do with YOU!

I'm sure that when the judge hears how you "let" this man RAISE the child because YOU couldn't or wouldn't do it and how you now want to take away his LEGAL rights as a thank you gift, the court will be sure to expedite the TPR in record time.

You need to go back and read everything that YOU have written. If you STILL can't figure out why you stand NO chance of getting his rights terminated and WHY everyone here has been so quick to tell you what a lousy parent you are for even TRYING, you don't deserve custody of ANY child.

We can only HOPE that you have had enough sense to have yourself permanently sterilized so this will NEVER happen again. If not, I'll be happy to take up a collect for you so you can. I'm sure I could come up with more then enough money in no time!

I really don't think a judge would order a TPR, my dd has being living with me since legal father left a year ago, and I had let him see her once when he came here for a weekend, believe me I have tried to come to terms with all of this, but it is very hard for me, when he was here I told him I was going to let her go with him for summer, he sended the papers for me to singed, but I just couldn't do it, and now he has served me again, thank you for your resposes, I know, you don't understand what I am going through right now,and you don't understand my reasons for doing what I am trying to do, but thanks anyway.