Disillusionment Custodial Parent Verbage

[Shari30am]

Ohio-
Hi everyone, I'm going through the beginning stages of a Disillusionment and don't feel the Seperation agreement covers this future issue. My husband's attorney said we do not need to out line any custodial parent verbage now, our son is 3 and in daycare not school. We have a Shared Parenting Plan but it doesn't cover anything for when my son would start school. One of us would need to be the Custodial Parent and yes I want that to be me. I want my Ex to be very involved with our son, I'm in no way trying to limit their contact. I'm just afraid that agreeing to exclude this issue now, will hurt me in the future.What is the name of your state?

 

[Ohiogal]

Ohio-
Hi everyone, I'm going through the beginning stages of a Disillusionment

It is called a DISSOLUTION!

and don't feel the Seperation agreement covers this future issue. My husband's attorney said we do not need to out line any custodial parent verbage now, our son is 3 and in daycare not school.

No you dont' need to outline the terms now.

We have a Shared Parenting Plan but it doesn't cover anything for when my son would start school. One of us would need to be the Custodial Parent

BULL! Both of you can be the custodial parent. The agreement should cover what school district but that doesn't mean mom or dad gets more rights. One could be called the RESIDENTIAL parent for school purposes with both of you having joint legal and physical custody.

and yes I want that to be me.

You can want that at all you want but it doesn't mean squat.

I want my Ex to be very involved with our son, I'm in no way trying to limit their contact. I'm just afraid that agreeing to exclude this issue now, will hurt me in the future.What is the name of your state?

How will it hurt you? Seriously. You don't need to include that at this juncture. And what if dad is living in a superior school district in Ohio compared to you? What do you think having that terminology does?

 

[Shari30am]

Thank you. I appreciate your comments. I didn't realize we could both be custodial and just one residential for school and you are correct the better school district would win.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you. I appreciate your comments. I didn't realize we could both be custodial and just one residential for school and you are correct the better school district would win.

In Ohio there is a presumption of joint custody. Both parents are the legal and physical custodians of their children. A child can have a residence for school purposes (which basically states that the address of the parent that residential for school purposes is whatever it is and shows that the address is within the district). It does not deprive either parent of any rights nor ANY TIME (if your agreement is one week on and one week off for instance, being the residential parent does NOT change that) with the child. It is a little thing to argue about.

 

[LdiJ]

In Ohio there is a presumption of joint custody. Both parents are the legal and physical custodians of their children. A child can have a residence for school purposes (which basically states that the address of the parent that residential for school purposes is whatever it is and shows that the address is within the district). It does not deprive either parent of any rights nor ANY TIME (if your agreement is one week on and one week off for instance, being the residential parent does NOT change that) with the child. It is a little thing to argue about.

Assuming that they live close enough together that they both can get the child to school on a daily basis.

 

[Ohiogal]

Assuming that they live close enough together that they both can get the child to school on a daily basis.

Actually no. Reread what that was in reference to. The title of RESIDENTIAL PARENT or even CUSTODIAL PARENT in Ohio does NOT automatically grant one parent with more rights or time with the other. The parenting time allocation agreed upon by the parents or ordered by the court dictates the time -- and those are not contingent upon the terms RESIDENTIAL PARENT or CUSTODIAL PARENT in Ohio.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually no. Reread what that was in reference to. The title of RESIDENTIAL PARENT or even CUSTODIAL PARENT in Ohio does NOT automatically grant one parent with more rights or time with the other. The parenting time allocation agreed upon by the parents or ordered by the court dictates the time -- and those are not contingent upon the terms RESIDENTIAL PARENT or CUSTODIAL PARENT in Ohio.

Ok...I get where you were coming from..

I was just pointing out that the distance between homes is a factor in determining a parenting schedule. The way that you worded that seemed to assume that any timeshare was possible regardless of distance.

 

[seniorjudge]

I think disillusionment is a pretty good description!

 

[Ohiogal]

Ok...I get where you were coming from..

I was just pointing out that the distance between homes is a factor in determining a parenting schedule. The way that you worded that seemed to assume that any timeshare was possible regardless of distance.

A timeshare is always possible -- the type of timeshare is determined by a lot of different factors of which distance is one but TERMINOLOGY is not. Distance is a factor in determining the schedule. As is the willingness of parents to work together, the age of the child, the parents' workschedules, the school schedule, where the parents work, what type of relationship the parents can manage between each other, transportation issues, and economics.

The thing that a lot of parents I talk to and consult with seem to believe is that the terminology gives them some POWER or RIGHT or AUTOMATIC TIME with the child that is either superior or inferior to the other parent. And that is not true.State law dictates many rights of parents in Ohio (as well as Federal Law). The details in the parenting agreement determine the vast majority of the details. The terms mean nothing truthfully because those terms can be defined anyway the parents decide to define them within a shared parenting plan or however the court defines them if the plan is ordered. That is something that is very important for all parents to realize. Getting hung up on terminology is ridiculous -- the only terms that are important are that one of the parents is mommy and the other is daddy and that is not changed at divorce or by the terms residential, full or sole or joint custodian.

 

[Ohiogal]

I think disillusionment is a pretty good description!

I concur. But legally it is a dissolution. The disillusionment usually leads to the dissolution or the divorce -- whichever they pick in Ohio.