Divorce Enforcment

[LdiJ]

I apologize for asking all these questions, and thank all of you for your advice.
I am very insecure when it comes to the legal aspects of custody. I get brain fade every time she calls and starts threatening me. I guess I need some reassurance.
I only want what is best for my children and sadly their mother scares them with drunken late night visits and her history of destroying our property. I just wish it would all go away, I thought I had fought this battle 4 years and $12,000 ago.

Its not uncommon to be paranoid when you are being threatened. The important thing is to make sure that you thoroughly understand your written court orders (not what the judge said in court, but what got included in the written orders) and make sure that you are obeying them. If you are, then you have nothing to be afraid of.

However...again, make sure that you thoroughly understand the written orders. Sometimes a judge will say something in court that doesn't end up getting included in the written/signed orders.

 

[graybeard1952]

I have read these orders from front to back many times, I will refer her to the page numbers but it’s like she hears none of it. I keep thinking I must have missed something, so I go back and re-read it to see if I am wrong. In my judgment I am following these orders to the letter.
I am so frustrated and it serves me right for attempting to have an intelligent conversation with her, but I can’t ignore her threats
I don’t have a lot of money, it’s not easy to get time off from work to go downtown and fight this fight. I have no relatives here in Houston and few friends to watch my children.
I’m trying to be strong for my children and assure them everything will be okay, but the constant grind of threatening calls takes a tremendous toll on my confidence.
Thanks again for all your help and thanks for letting me vent.

 

[ceara19]

I have read these orders from front to back many times, I will refer her to the page numbers but it’s like she hears none of it. I keep thinking I must have missed something, so I go back and re-read it to see if I am wrong. In my judgment I am following these orders to the letter.
I am so frustrated and it serves me right for attempting to have an intelligent conversation with her, but I can’t ignore her threats
I don’t have a lot of money, it’s not easy to get time off from work to go downtown and fight this fight. I have no relatives here in Houston and few friends to watch my children.
I’m trying to be strong for my children and assure them everything will be okay, but the constant grind of threatening calls takes a tremendous toll on my confidence.
Thanks again for all your help and thanks for letting me vent.

The best thing you can do is stop talking to her directly. You can communicate with her via email instead. That way you will have time to calming read her email before you respond. You will be able to research your answers and make as many rewrites as necessary. As an added bonus, you'll have documentation of the communication.

 

[graybeard1952]

I have stopped taking her calls and have begun recording her voice mails. She doesn’t have a computer that I know of. To be quite honest I only know that she lives in San Antonio but have no current address. She has never informed me of her address, place of employment (if any) or her telephone number. All of which are also violations of the CO.
I mean she has ignored EVERY order handed down in our final decree, every one.

 

[ceara19]

I have stopped taking her calls and have begun recording her voice mails. She doesn’t have a computer that I know of. To be quite honest I only know that she lives in San Antonio but have no current address. She has never informed me of her address, place of employment (if any) or her telephone number. All of which are also violations of the CO.
I mean she has ignored EVERY order handed down in our final decree, every one.

I have an ex like that. Make sure you document each and every violation she has committed. You could call her to give her your email address and request that she email you with any issues or problems. Just make sure you record the phone call. While you have her on the phone and the tape recorder is rolling, go ahead and ask her for her current address, phone #, place of employment, etc. so that you can "update your records". Then you will either get the correct info, have her on tape refusing to obey the court order or have her on tape giving false information.

 

[graybeard1952]

Nervous about XW

My XW has called 5 times in the past 30 min. She is making the usual threats of filing contempt charges etc. She also demanded I give her my 14 yo daughter’s cell phone and bf grandmother’s phone numbers, I refused. Then she informed me we were being recorded and preceded with her rant. A couple of things she said concerned me. She first said, “She had suspicions about me” and rambled on some more. Then out of the blue she said “I want her to go to an OBGYN and see if she is sexually active”. I just blew her off and told her she has to stop this. She is only supposed to call for visitation arrangements and medical issues concerning the children.
All of this started after the state located her and began taking child support from her check. The job lasted 2 weeks and I got a check for $7.18, now she is only behind $8492.82 in child support. My feeling is, out of desperation she is going to attempt to raise some sort of abuse case against me with CPS.
My question is, how easy would it be for her to open a case with nothing but her “suspicions”?
My children are A/B students, never been a discipline problem either at school or at home. I have never spanked them or struck them in anyway. My eldest is and has been in dance for 10 years. There have never been any questions about my children’s social character or me. Am I being paranoid or should I ignore her?
Thank you for any advice.

 

[weenor]

My XW has called 5 times in the past 30 min. She is making the usual threats of filing contempt charges etc. She also demanded I give her my 14 yo daughter’s cell phone and bf grandmother’s phone numbers, I refused. Then she informed me we were being recorded and preceded with her rant. A couple of things she said concerned me. She first said, “She had suspicions about me” and rambled on some more. Then out of the blue she said “I want her to go to an OBGYN and see if she is sexually active”. I just blew her off and told her she has to stop this. She is only supposed to call for visitation arrangements and medical issues concerning the children.
All of this started after the state located her and began taking child support from her check. The job lasted 2 weeks and I got a check for $7.18, now she is only behind $8492.82 in child support. My feeling is, out of desperation she is going to attempt to raise some sort of abuse case against me with CPS.
My question is, how easy would it be for her to open a case with nothing but her “suspicions”?
My children are A/B students, never been a discipline problem either at school or at home. I have never spanked them or struck them in anyway. My eldest is and has been in dance for 10 years. There have never been any questions about my children’s social character or me. Am I being paranoid or should I ignore her?
Thank you for any advice.

No, I would be prepared for the phone call from CPS...they will investigate and close their file...most case workers' with any experience know that it is common for ex's to report problems just to be vindictive. We have been reported several times by my hubby's ex...Now they don't even bother to call us, they just note her complaint in the file.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

My XW has called 5 times in the past 30 min. She is making the usual threats of filing contempt charges etc. She also demanded I give her my 14 yo daughter’s cell phone and bf grandmother’s phone numbers, I refused. Then she informed me we were being recorded and preceded with her rant. A couple of things she said concerned me. She first said, “She had suspicions about me” and rambled on some more. Then out of the blue she said “I want her to go to an OBGYN and see if she is sexually active”. I just blew her off and told her she has to stop this. She is only supposed to call for visitation arrangements and medical issues concerning the children.
All of this started after the state located her and began taking child support from her check. The job lasted 2 weeks and I got a check for $7.18, now she is only behind $8492.82 in child support. My feeling is, out of desperation she is going to attempt to raise some sort of abuse case against me with CPS.
My question is, how easy would it be for her to open a case with nothing but her “suspicions”?
My children are A/B students, never been a discipline problem either at school or at home. I have never spanked them or struck them in anyway. My eldest is and has been in dance for 10 years. There have never been any questions about my children’s social character or me. Am I being paranoid or should I ignore her?
Thank you for any advice.

and when you hung the phone up, how long did it take you to call the police and file a violation of the order of protection?

 

[graybeard1952]

Protective order

My CO contains 4 clauses pertaining to “protection”. The first states:
(ex wife) is permanently enjoined from causing phy.contact, threatening or causing bodily injury to me.
2. Communicating by phone or writing except for arranging visitation or circumstances affecting the best interest of the children.
3. Coming within 200 ft or remaining on our premises or my work place.
4. Interfering in any way with the Managing Conservator’s possession of the children.

Is this the same as a “Protective Order”?

 

[Ohiogal]

If she is permanently restrained doing that then yes. You should have called and reported a violation.

 

[graybeard1952]

Thank you, I have a lot of family around Cleveland/ Parma and actually lived on Wright Pat as a kid. Thanks again.

 

[graybeard1952]

To prevent the need for thread hopping, a brief background:
Divorced Sep 2002, CO in Harris County. Texas. EW and I are Joint Managing Conservators with me being the Primary Managing Custodian. EW visitation is supervised at a county facility.
In the past 4 years she had 8 arrests/convictions with 9 charges. 2 assaults, 1 DUI, 1 Possession of a controlled substance, 1 failure to stop after an accident, 2 trespassing and 2 criminal mischief, and has had 4 failed attempts in Rehab. She is permanently enjoined from coming within 200 yards of our house, calling, except for visitation and children's welfare issues, having physical contact with me or interfering with my time. She has never exercised a single visitation and is $10,000 in arrears for CS and Med Ins.

As advised I sent her "attorney" a letter outlining the issues in the Court Order and the phone calls have stopped. She still calls for our daughters and they are free to answer the calls, but most times they don't. The messages she leaves keep saying she is going to take them places this summer and "where do you want to go?"and it concerns me. I know she is pushing my buttons and my situation in solid. She now lives in Bexar County, Texas, and she seems so confident that she is going to get summer-unsupervised visitation.

I was wondering whether there is some temporary motion or emergency order, filed in her county of residence, which would allow her this visitation?

Thank you for your input.

 

[LdiJ]

To prevent the need for thread hopping, a brief background:
Divorced Sep 2002, CO in Harris County. Texas. EW and I are Joint Managing Conservators with me being the Primary Managing Custodian. EW visitation is supervised at a county facility.
In the past 4 years she had 8 arrests/convictions with 9 charges. 2 assaults, 1 DUI, 1 Possession of a controlled substance, 1 failure to stop after an accident, 2 trespassing and 2 criminal mischief, and has had 4 failed attempts in Rehab. She is permanently enjoined from coming within 200 yards of our house, calling, except for visitation and children's welfare issues, having physical contact with me or interfering with my time. She has never exercised a single visitation and is $10,000 in arrears for CS and Med Ins.

As advised I sent her "attorney" a letter outlining the issues in the Court Order and the phone calls have stopped. She still calls for our daughters and they are free to answer the calls, but most times they don't. The messages she leaves keep saying she is going to take them places this summer and "where do you want to go?"and it concerns me. I know she is pushing my buttons and my situation in solid. She now lives in Bexar County, Texas, and she seems so confident that she is going to get summer-unsupervised visitation.

I was wondering whether there is some temporary motion or emergency order, filed in her county of residence, which would allow her this visitation?

Thank you for your input.

_________________________________________

If there was, it wouldn't be valid because her county doesn't have jurisdiction. Therefore it would be easy to get it vacated and dismissed. Plus, you would still have to be served.