Do current kids count?

[Otterchick]

What is the name of your state?Ohio

Last year when my husband and I were separated he was seeing someone else and she became pregnant with twins. We have since reconciled and even renewed our vows. This woman is all about the money, I can honestly believe that she got pregnant as a source of income. Anyway, I have a couple of questions...

1) It was figured that we would need to pay $600 a month in support. It doesn't seem to me that the courts take into account that we have 3 other children to raise...are there any options?

2) She is currently working a full time minimum wage job and is currently living with her soon to be ex-husband (don't ask) and is receiving more money in food stamps than she could ever use in a month. Can this be taken into account when figuring child support?

3) If we utilize shared parenting, is there a chance the court will modify support to reflect the fact that we have the kids half the time or will this enable her to hamper the shared parenting so she can get more money?

Please understand, I am not trying to get us out of paying child support for these children. I love them dearly and we are considering going for full custody. The problem I have is that I know for a fact that this woman got pregnant on purpose (she all but admitted it), she has demonstrated that she doesn't much care if the kids are around or not (we have often had the kids for 4 or more days and had to force her to take them back because of our work schedules) and is truly only interested in the money (she offered to sell us the chance to change their last name because she "didn't care what their name was".) Even her 3 year old tells her to "F*** off" and I swear her 15 month old called me a bitch. To sum it up, we know that the money paid to her will mostly go towards her clothing and clubbing habits while we are raising the children anyway, and the 3 children living with us have to go without. It doesn't seem right.

Sorry so long, thanks for any help.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Her court order will always take priority over any kids, whether the existed first or not. The only time other kids are truly taken into consideration is when there is a court order for their support. In the eyes of child support, your kids will always come second because she got the first court order.

Food stamps are considered government welfare and will not be taken into consideration. Just like actual AFDC... Her income will be taken into consideration though.

Even with shared parenting (50/50 legal and physical) it is possible your husband will have to pay her since his income is obviously more than hers. It won't be as much, but it is possible he will still have to pay.

As far as her "getting pregnant on purpose" your husband knew this could happen too. If he didn't want it to happen, he could have kept "it" to himself or protected himself better. She didn't get this way without his help.

 

[Jessleeeliz]

Quoting from an earlier post in this forum from Otterchick::
"Last year when my husband and I were separated he was seeing someone else and she became pregnant with twins. We have since reconciled and even renewed our vows. This woman is all about the money, I can honestly believe that she got pregnant as a source of income. Anyway, I have a couple of questions..."

_________________________
Isn't it unreal why some people get pregnant? And in truth I believe it will never matter how much we try to push these people into seeing how bad a mother they are, so they can change - because when you can't see your kids as the greatest asset of your life - you are blind beyond belief.

 

[legalcuriosity]

Something struck me as kinda odd in this situation. Maybe it was already addressed, but just not told, buuuuuuut, I thought I'd ask it anyway.

It looks like both the hubby and the "other chick" were both legally married at the time. So, unless a paternity test was already done, wouldn't her current husband be presumed the father?

As far as shared parenting goes, as VG stated, it could be possible your hubby could still be paying, although considerably less than the current order. But, she will not be able to hamper the SPP to get more money. It just won't work. That is the one good thing about states having guidelines in place. It prevents women like hers (and the mom of my kids) of going in there asking for the world and then some.

If you and your hubby truly think it's in the best interest that the child comes live with you guys, then by all means -- file for full custody and request only visitation for the mother. Line up all of your arguments as to why it would be in the BIOC (best interest of child) to be in your house and any factual documentation, calendar of dates you've had them compared to her, etc. to put the ball stronger into your court.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Here is your question from May, please update that re those issues. What happened in court? What exactly do the court orders say? (without names of course) https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=244273

 

[Otterchick]

She has recently let us see the kids again on the weekends because she has returned to work and needs babysitting. My husband has been proven to be the father and we are working on setting up support/legal visitation. She is currently going through her divorce and is currently not seeing the other man. We have been told we will have to pay almost $600 in support every month (which we can not afford by a long shot) while she gets food stamps and WIC, both of which she receives way more than she can use. I truly believe that she does not love the children as much as even I do (I know this sounds egotistical but from her actions, is a valid belief) but she can be very convincing. (Ask my husband..ha ha) I also truly believe they would have a better life with us. I just get very disheartened when I read all the stories on here where judges just assume the mother is the better parent. (I could tell you the story about the birth mother of my other 3 children but I'm saving the rights for a soap opera..ha ha).

Anyway, I am documenting the time we have them, as well as any incidents that may occur. I also have a log of many damaging text messages that she has sent (some with pictures). Will these have any valid weight or am I wasting my time? We have decided to go for full custody, even planning on waiving any support from her if it will help. (We don't get any for the other kids anyway..sigh).

Again, thanks for any help.

 

[gatorguy3]

Am I the only one who finds inconsistencies here?

If the infadelity was last year...and the woman became pregnant with twins...but one is 15 months old and the other is 3 years old...

Am I missing something here?

I am going back to read the post again

 

[LdiJ]

Am I the only one who finds inconsistencies here?

If the infadelity was last year...and the woman became pregnant with twins...but one is 15 months old and the other is 3 years old...

Am I missing something here?

I am going back to read the post again

The twins have to be less than a year old. Therefore the 15 month old and the 3 year old are obviously other children that she has.

 

[Otterchick]

Sorry if I confused anyone. I'm approximating the ages of her other 2 children and the twins are 9 months old. Obviously the other child can't be 15 months if the twins are nine, I think I have stuck in my brain how old the child was at the start of the pregnancy. So they must be about 2 and 4 now or something like that.