Do I have a case, or a potential case? What should my steps be? I really need help.

[JDH]

What is the name of your state? Kentucky

What is the name of your state? Kentucky

Hi. First, thank you for this site. I have learned a lot.

Here is my situation.

My 8-year old son and some other boys were messing around on a daycare playground. They were horsing aruond with a little girl (10 years old) and things got a little out of hand. They pinned the girl down, my son lifted up her shirt (not to where anything was seen) and that's really all that was done. This according to the letter that the little girl wrote and the letter my son wrote to the daycare on the day of the incident.

Well, I personally wrote a letter to the parents as did my son to the parents, daycare, and the little girl. At this point, we had NO idea who they were.

The little girls mom filed a 1st degree sexual assualt charge on all 4 boys that is now going to court, but when she filed against them, she highly exaggerated what actually happened accorind to the little girl and the boys that were involved. All of their stories line up, but the mom's complaint made it look almost "gang related."

Well, we are preparing for a court case now, but here is where I have the question.

I took my daughter to soccer practice last night and as I'm standing there after practice in the girls huddle, a man approaches me and takes me about 2 feet back. He said, "I know we have to see each other this year, but I don't want your son near my daughter (and said a couple other things." I said, "Who are you?" I honestly had no idea who he was. He told me his name and I said, "Oh, ok. Well, you can be assure that (myson) has been punished severely for what he did." Then the man said, "I don't want your son even looking in the DIRECTION of my daughter." I said, "Then don't bring her to the soccer fields." Well, after a couple more exhanges that I tried to avoid since we're in the middle of a court case, he threatened me, to kick my (explicit). I didn't even know who his daughter was and that she was on my daughters team. This was the first practice where they showed up.

After leaving the field, this man went to an adult that I was talking to before he came over and asked his daughters "permission" to tell the story of what happened at the daycare. However, he said that the pants came down twice (which is false, even according to the girls letter - although I think they may have TRIED to pull them down, it never happened).

So, because of the man telling others about what happened and him exaggerating it, they are now considering banning my EIGHT year old son from the soccer fields, and it obviously is hurting his reputation, even at 8 years old. He may have told a little bit of the truth as to what happened, but he also highly exaggerated the severity of it.

1. I felt it highly inappropriate for him to discuss this with anyone since we're supposed to be going to court over it. Isn't there something wrong with that in the first place?

2. His exaggerations are making things difficult on me, causing a lot of stress, potentially causing my son not being able to go to the soccer fields even BEFORE the case is tried and them taking "his word for it.". They are NOT true and he is stating them as fact to the people he talks to.

Do I have a case for defamation? What steps should I take at this point? I have filed a complaint against him for threatening me at the soccer field and also noted he was giving out false details on the case to other people. I did this with our county attorney.

My assumption is that I should wait until the kids are found "not-guilty" to prove that he was spreading false rumors against my son. That just makes sense, but should I go ahead and do something else?

I really need some good advice. Feel free to ask me any questions pertaining to this.

Thank you.

JDH

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? Kentucky
1. I felt it highly inappropriate for him to discuss this with anyone since we're supposed to be going to court over it. Isn't there something wrong with that in the first place?

Whether or not it is wrong is a personal decision. It was NOT illegal or actionable.

2. His exaggerations are making things difficult on me, causing a lot of stress, potentially causing my son not being able to go to the soccer fields even BEFORE the case is tried and them taking "his word for it.". They are NOT true and he is stating them as fact to the people he talks to.

The actions of the organization which oversees the soccer fields has nothing to do with the legal proceedings.

They can choose to believe the exaggerations and ban your son or not. That, again, is not illegal nor actionable.

Do I have a case for defamation?

Based on your post, no.

What steps should I take at this point?

two parts creme 'de mint and one part vermouth

I have filed a complaint against him for threatening me at the soccer field and also noted he was giving out false details on the case to other people. I did this with our county attorney.

and so let the CA handle it.

My assumption is that I should wait until the kids are found "not-guilty" to prove that he was spreading false rumors against my son. That just makes sense, but should I go ahead and do something else?

Even after (IF) they are found 'not guilty' it won't matter. And you'd better learn one thing real quick. Not guilty does NOT mean innocent. It means the state has failed to show a substantial burden of proof required by statute to substantiate the charges.

I really need some good advice. DH

Then get your son to a counselor like yesterday. This is NOT normal behavior.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

And by the way, come back with the exact charge and cite (statute number) because there is not a 1st degree sexual assault on the books in Kentucky.

It's either 1st degree assault or Sexual Abuse in the 1st degree.

 

[JDH]

Whether or not it is wrong is a personal decision. It was NOT illegal or actionable.

The actions of the organization which oversees the soccer fields has nothing to do with the legal proceedings.

They can choose to believe the exaggerations and ban your son or not. That, again, is not illegal nor actionable.

Based on your post, no.

two parts creme 'de mint and one part vermouth

and so let the CA handle it.

Even after (IF) they are found 'not guilty' it won't matter. And you'd better learn one thing real quick. Not guilty does NOT mean innocent. It means the state has failed to show a substantial burden of proof required by statute to substantiate the charges.

Then get your son to a counselor like yesterday. This is NOT normal behavior.

Ok, I don't know who you are, but this was a "free advice" board that I needed help on, not smart alleck responses or lectures, or how to raise my kid. It would be nice if you'd stick to the questions instead of trying to be a counselor know-it-all.

Here is the LAW in Kentucky (from THIS very web site).

http://injury-law.freeadvice.com/libel_and_slander/defamation_character.htm

In my simple opinion, this guy IS causing a harmful reputation by stating false things about my son and if the soccer complex won't allow him there, that qualifies as "not assocating with him because of false statements," you know, what it says on that very law I posted. But don't let the facts get in the way.

More facts for you since you seem so knowledgeable:

The girl HERSELF wrote what happened in the incident. It is NOTHING compared to what the parents are going around spreading and is FAR more severe the way they are putting it, and that is according to the GIRL HERSELF. HER story lines up with my SONS story. So, he IS innocent on the charge of "first degree sexual assualt."

They were kids being kids, horsing around and let their goofing go a little too far as they were playing with this little girl. The girl was hounding them, they were hounding the girl and it got out of hand. Even the daycare THEMSELVES said it was just horseplay and "kids being kids." It's awfully BOLD to tell me my son needs counseling when you don't know 10% of the situation, nor do you know him at all, but by one simple post scratching the surface of the situation. Sounds like you have a problem with "guilty until proven innocent."

The poeple who have filed have had many complaints about them in this community and are troublemakers. How do I know? Because the mom is a principle here and my sister is a teacher and I found a BUNCH of stuff about them. This "principle" has had MANY MANY MANY complaints on her filed with the school board and the people that know them said, "Be ready for the long haul because these people are relentless."

Then, instead of the dad walking up to me at soccer practice and discussing an issue that I was unaware of, he threatens my son and then physically threatened me. Does THAT sound normal to you? If it does, then I would guess you're just like them. You seem to like confrontation by your response.

I don't know if you are an attorney or just a smart alleck, but if you're an attorney, you sure don't understand facts too well because you have veyr little facts about the case itself. This post wasn't even about the case, but the false statements they are making about us.

My son was SEVERELEY punished for his actions. I get many, many, MANY compliments on how well behaved he is from his teachers at school and other people that know him. I've saved e-mails that they have sent me telling me this. Just last week, ANOTHER teacher complimented him. He excels in school and makes excellent grades. I guess that's nor normal either huh?

This is the FIRST time he's gotten in trouble, the FIRST. Yeah, maybe he talked in class, or stepped out of line, but hopefully I'll find a good counselor to help him in that area! The counselor at school even wrote a letter for the court case on his accomplishments and how well behaved he is in school.

Now, if you would like to answer my question without a lecture, nah, forget it, I'd rather hear from someone who doesn't seem to have an agenda to make it a more believeable response because I don't think you know what you're talking about because you decided to lecture instaed of just answering questions.

If this is YOUR web site, I'm sorry I joined. If you're just some "person" who floats around here, then I understand, but if you have anything to do with this web site, I won't be referring my friends to it. Almost all of your answers had NOTHING to do with my question.

Now, have a good day.

 

[HomeGuru]

oh brother, not another one,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,....................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Ok, I don't know who you are, but this was a "free advice" board that I needed help on, not smart alleck responses or lectures, or how to raise my kid. It would be nice if you'd stick to the questions instead of trying to be a counselor.

Here is the LAW in Kentucky (from THIS very web site).

https://forum.freeadvice.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=1082255

In my simple opinion, this guy IS causing a harmful reputation by stating false things about not only my son and if the soccer complex won't allow him there, that qualifies as "not assocating with him because of false statements," you know, what it says on that very web site. But don't let the facts get in the way.

More facts for you since you seem to knowledgeable:

The girl HERSELF wrote what happened in the incident. It is NOTHING compared to what the parents are going around spreading and is FAR more severe the way they are putting it, and that is according to the GIRL HERSELF. HER story lines up with my SONS story. So, he IS innocent on the charge of "first degree sexual assualt."

They were kids being kids, horsing around and let their goofing go a little too far as they were playing with this little girl. The girl was hounding them, they were hounding the girl and it got out of hand. Even the daycare THEMSELVES said it was just horseplay and "kids being kids."

The poeple who have filed have had many complaints about them in this community and are troublemakers. How do I know? Because the mom is a principle here and my sister is a teacher and I found a BUNCH of stuff about them. This "principle" has had MANY MANY MANY complaints on here fired with the school board and the people that know them said, "Be ready for the long haul because these people are relentless."

I don't know if you are an attorney and just a smart alleck, but if you're an attorney, you sure don't understand facts too well.

My son was SEVERELEY punished for his actions. I get many, many, MANY compliments on how well behaved he is from his teachers at school. I've saved e-mails that they have sent me telling me this. Just last week, ANOTHER teacher complimented him. He excels in school and makes excellent grades. I guess that's nor normal either huh?

Now, if you would like to answer my question without a lecture, nah, forget it, I'd rather hear from someone who doesn't seem to have an agenda to make it a more believeable response because I don't think you know what you're talking about because you decided to lecture instaed of just answering questions.

If this is YOUR web site, I'm sorry I joined. If you're just some "person" who floats around here, then I understand, but if you have anything to do with this web site, I won't be referring my friends to it. Almost all of your answers had NOTHING to do with my question.

Now, have a good day.

And this diatribe solved what?
If you don't like the FACTUAL legal advice I gave you then pay an attorney to file whatever you want. You'll soon find out you have no case and no money left.

 

[JDH]

And this diatribe solved what?
If you don't like the FACTUAL legal advice I gave you then pay an attorney to file whatever you want. You'll soon find out you have no case and no money left.

It's not the facts that bother me, it's your stinkin' attitude and UNSOLICITED "advice."

I wanted to know if I had a case, PERIOD. You could've responded with something as simple as, "With what you have stated, it doesn't appear you would have a slander case." Would that have been so hard? I figured the people on here were professional and that's why I decided to ask here.

I DO hvae an attorney, but he said "let's fight one battle at a time." I wanted to know if I should pursue a slander case once he's found innocent and all I got was a smart alleck lecture. Thanks a million.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

It's not the facts that bother me, it's your stinkin' attitude and UNSOLICITED "advice."

I wanted to know if I had a case, PERIOD. You could've responded with something as simple as, "With what you have stated, it doesn't appear you would have a slander case." Would that have been so hard? I figured the people on here were professional and that's why I decided to ask here.

I DO hvae an attorney, but he said "let's fight one battle at a time." I wanted to know if I should pursue a slander case once he's found innocent and all I got was a smart alleck lecture. Thanks a million.

With what you have stated, it doesn't appear you would have a slander case

 

[freespeech]

You are brushing aside a VERY serious problem! They did gang assault her if she was held down against her will and YOUR son went one step further and pulled up her clothing.

You don't like the things being said here because you are in serious denial at how serious this situation is.

 

[JDH]

You are brushing aside a VERY serious problem! They did gang assault her if she was held down against her will and YOUR son went one step further and pulled up her clothing.

You don't like the things being said here because you are in serious denial at how serious this situation is.

If I type slowly, will you people understand what I'm saying better?

If he didn't do something wrong, I wouldn't have punished him as severely as I did. Heck, I wouldn't hvae punished him at all. He was WRONG, DEAD WRONG in what he did and paid for it. First degree sexual assualt says that it is the "intent to sexually gratify oneself." The kid is EIGHT. Boys were being boys, but they did it in front of everybody on the playground. If they were smart enough to "sexually assault" this 5th grader who is 10 or 11, then I think they would've been smart enough not to do it on the playground where there were students and teachers.

I believe they were doing it to embarrass her in front of everybody, like when an adult sneaks up behind another adult and drops their shorts in front of everybody. The witnesses who saw it even said it was horseplay, but you guys seem to exclude those parts of my post and enjoy judging me and my son instead

If he was 12, 13 years old, I would believe there would be a possiblity of sexual assualt, but all these kids were 8 years old and on the playground in front of teachers and students. Hardly a good place to sexually assault somebody they play with every day. I explained to him WHY what he did was wrong and how severe they are.

I don't deny what he did is wrong. The daycare people think that I was too hard on him with my punishment in regards to what he did. I don't take things like this lightly, even iif it WAS horseplay.

Some advice I'm geting here. I didn't come here to talk about the case. I came here to see if I had a slander suit, or a possibilty of one. All I get are people who all the sudden know all about me, my entire view on
this situation, and give out opinions when they really don't know what they're talking about.

And by the way, to the individual who said I didn't have a case, I just talked to an attorney's office and guess what they said? I've got a case for slander. This office knows who my attorney is and talked to me about the situation.

They also said that the case could very well be dropped now since the dad is running around telling everybody what he is telling them. AGAIN - his blabbering is highly exaggerated according to his own daughter's letter.

I certainly hope you're not an attorney. Thank God this board is free. The info from here isn't even worth THAT.

 

[Just Blue]

I just have to wonder how you would feel if the girl in the situation was your daughter....Somehow I don't think you wouldbe calling it "kids will be kids" or "horseplay".

 

[JDH]

I just have to wonder how you would feel if the girl in the situation was your daughter....Somehow I don't think you wouldbe calling it "kids will be kids" or "horseplay".

Um, so you actually think an EIGHT year old was trying to sexually gratify himself on the playground? Do you know my son well enough to make that judgement? Do you know my family well enough and his upbringing enough to make that judgement? NO, you don't.

It HAS been done to people I know (except it was a lot more serious) and because of situations in my life, I have been very good at putting myself in others positions, and in this case, I did that.

THAT is why I wrote the parents a personal apology letter the day it happened. THAT is why I made my son write them a letter, the daycare a letter, and the girl a letter of apology. THAT is why I made him think about how it made that girl feel. THAT is why he was so severely punished.

You people are amazing. Instead of addressing the question, you'd rather attack me and my son when you don't know the first thing about us. He made a mistake and has paid for it, PERIOD.

Nothing showed on the girl. Her shirt only came up to just above her belly button, that's IT. He admitted it and that's what the girls letter stated. However, the parents filed a complaint that her pants were pulled down TWICE during this incident, that the boys were waiting for the girl to get by herself, and made it sound like a gang rape. I'll say it AGAIN - the little girls letter completely contradicts what the parents filed. The girls letter lines up (FACTS) with the boys letters who were involved. All parties involved agree on what happened, regardless on what side you're on.

The parents are the one's going around saying that the boys pulled her pants down twice (how do you even have time to do that on the playground in front of everybody with teachers standing around?). Like I said, these people do not have a good reputation in our community at all. What my son did was very wrong, but I do not believe it was anything more than horseplay from reading the letters from all involved.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You have no case for slander/libel/defamation.

You have been told this several times.

Your attorney is telling you the same thing when they say to fight one battle at a time. The verdict, doesn't make or break a slander/libel/defamation case, however it is wise that you don't go around making statements about the case or discussing it with any of the litigants or interested parties. If someone confronts you, refer them to your attorney.

PLEASE, PLEASE, keep your son away from all similar situations including but not limited to play grounds and soccer fields where minor children are playing. If it cannot be avoided, he should have appropriate supervision and permission of the persons or organizations responsible, to be present. It was very poor judgement on your part to bring your son to girls soccer games. Yes you may have punished him, but you have to think about what is appropriate in society, your actions are not for a number of reasons. The soccer organization is allowed to mitigate any potential litigation by barring an admitted sexual preditor no matter his age. If it were the other way around and it was your daughter, you would feel differently. Please quit blaming the victim. Also, don't leave your children alone together.

The facts and evidence will come out in the investigation and court. While there may have been sililarities in the accounts, they may have been incomplete. There is a fine line between the act and the intent, and there may be no difference between the facts that this GANG of 4 BOYS assulted 1 girl, pinned her against her will and began to undress her, the fact that they didn't complete the act or got interrupted, doesn't change the fact that they were SEXUALLY assulting this girl and admitted it. That is why you have no case, because your son admitted in writing sexually assulting this girl because he did.

Yes, your child needs counseling and so do you! If your attorney hasn't suggested this, or at least an evaluation for psychological disorders or precocious puberty. This type of inappropriate sexual behavior may be a flag of an psychological disorder. Ask them, they may ask that you wait until after the trial, but most likely it will be a part of the sentence and probation. Yes, 8 yo boys do have sexual feelings and behaviors. Your son's actions are not normal.

It is not relevant that the childcare facility stated that they were just kids being kids, because they are/were potential litigants because they had responsibility for supervision, of course they are going to claim an affirmative defense and not make an admission. This doesn't mean that you can sue them either for your son's actions, those are your responsibility.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Forget it Rmet. This jackass is training his son to be a rapist and there's nothing anyone can do until he reaches "Old Sparky".

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Forget it Rmet. This jackass is training his son to be a rapist and there's nothing anyone can do until he reaches "Old Sparky".

You are right, there is no talking logic to an obsessed parent of a sexual offender. I do however pity the boy's sister who will most likely be exposed to his sexual ammusments or brotherly love.