Do I need to file a response to this?

[Rowan602]

What is the name of your state? Colorado, El Paso County

background:

My daughter's father and I have 50/50 physical custody and decision making. In our parenting plan, written up by a CFI, it is stated that in March of this year we were to begin looking for a school that was located and "equitable distance" between our residences. I live on the far south side of town, he lives on the far north side of town. Our daughter currently attends the school that is located a block away from my house.

In mid-March, I received an email from him stating that he expected us to enroll her in an "A-rated" school, and provided a list of schools with an "A-rating." I looked up information on the schools on the list, and 95% of them were located either less than 2 miles away from his residence or more than 20 miles away from both of our residences. only 1 school fit the "equitable distance" criteria as laid out in our parenting plan.

I had a restraining order against him which I chose to drop because it was no longer needed and because it made effective coparenting extremely difficult. We mostly communicate through email, but in one phone conversation he indicated that he would like to go look at schools together when the restraining order was dropped. That was the last I heard of it, despite several emails sent to him during the month of April, until May 12, when he sent me an email stating that he had visited the schools under consideration back in mid-April and was awaiting feedback from me. I immediately visited the schools that he considered "acceptable" and emailed him with my thoughts about each of them.

Last week, I received a "Verified Emergency Motion Regarding School Enrollment for 2008-2009 School year." There are a lot of inconsistencies and outright lies in this document. He is trying to get the judge to move her to the school that is down the block from his house, even though she has been in her current school for two years now and is excelling there. I received notice that there is a hearing set for may 29th.

My questions are these:
1. Do I need to file a response to the verified motion?
2. If I don't file a response, will I get to tell my side of the story during the hearing?
3. If I do have to file a response, does anybody have any idea what form I need to use? There is no form number on the motion anywhere, so I can't look it up that way.

Thanks in advance for any advice or ideas anybody has. I'm sorry this was so long. If you need any more info, please let me know!

RowanWhat is the name of your state?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Colorado, El Paso County

background:

My daughter's father and I have 50/50 physical custody and decision making. In our parenting plan, written up by a CFI, it is stated that in March of this year we were to begin looking for a school that was located and "equitable distance" between our residences. I live on the far south side of town, he lives on the far north side of town. Our daughter currently attends the school that is located a block away from my house.

In mid-March, I received an email from him stating that he expected us to enroll her in an "A-rated" school, and provided a list of schools with an "A-rating." I looked up information on the schools on the list, and 95% of them were located either less than 2 miles away from his residence or more than 20 miles away from both of our residences. only 1 school fit the "equitable distance" criteria as laid out in our parenting plan.

I had a restraining order against him which I chose to drop because it was no longer needed and because it made effective coparenting extremely difficult. We mostly communicate through email, but in one phone conversation he indicated that he would like to go look at schools together when the restraining order was dropped. That was the last I heard of it, despite several emails sent to him during the month of April, until May 12, when he sent me an email stating that he had visited the schools under consideration back in mid-April and was awaiting feedback from me. I immediately visited the schools that he considered "acceptable" and emailed him with my thoughts about each of them.

Last week, I received a "Verified Emergency Motion Regarding School Enrollment for 2008-2009 School year." There are a lot of inconsistencies and outright lies in this document. He is trying to get the judge to move her to the school that is down the block from his house, even though she has been in her current school for two years now and is excelling there. I received notice that there is a hearing set for may 29th.

My questions are these:
1. Do I need to file a response to the verified motion?
2. If I don't file a response, will I get to tell my side of the story during the hearing?
3. If I do have to file a response, does anybody have any idea what form I need to use? There is no form number on the motion anywhere, so I can't look it up that way.

Thanks in advance for any advice or ideas anybody has. I'm sorry this was so long. If you need any more info, please let me know!

RowanWhat is the name of your state?

Yes, you absolutely need to file a response. You can use his motion as a template for your response, and simply title it as "Response to Verified Emergency Motion Regarding School Enrollment for 2008-2009 School year".

However....are you certain that you are allowed to enrol your child in schools that are not in your school district? Normally there are rules regarding school enrollment and you need to be certain that you will not be violating any of those rules, and you need to do that BEFORE you go to court....and perhaps even before you respond.

In other words, if its in the best interest of the child to remain at her current school, and you technically cannot enrol her in schools outside of your district, then you may need to also be making a counter motion, to modify the agreement to remove that clause.

I would also recommend using an attorney if you can swing it...particularly if he is using one.

 

[profmum]

What is the name of your state? Colorado, El Paso County

background:

My daughter's father and I have 50/50 physical custody and decision making. In our parenting plan, written up by a CFI, it is stated that in March of this year we were to begin looking for a school that was located and "equitable distance" between our residences. I live on the far south side of town, he lives on the far north side of town. Our daughter currently attends the school that is located a block away from my house.

In mid-March, I received an email from him stating that he expected us to enroll her in an "A-rated" school, and provided a list of schools with an "A-rating." I looked up information on the schools on the list, and 95% of them were located either less than 2 miles away from his residence or more than 20 miles away from both of our residences. only 1 school fit the "equitable distance" criteria as laid out in our parenting plan.

I had a restraining order against him which I chose to drop because it was no longer needed and because it made effective coparenting extremely difficult. We mostly communicate through email, but in one phone conversation he indicated that he would like to go look at schools together when the restraining order was dropped. That was the last I heard of it, despite several emails sent to him during the month of April, until May 12, when he sent me an email stating that he had visited the schools under consideration back in mid-April and was awaiting feedback from me. I immediately visited the schools that he considered "acceptable" and emailed him with my thoughts about each of them.

Last week, I received a "Verified Emergency Motion Regarding School Enrollment for 2008-2009 School year." There are a lot of inconsistencies and outright lies in this document. He is trying to get the judge to move her to the school that is down the block from his house, even though she has been in her current school for two years now and is excelling there. I received notice that there is a hearing set for may 29th.

My questions are these:
1. Do I need to file a response to the verified motion?

You absaloutely have to, if you want the judge to get a balanced view of what is going on prior to the hearing.

2. If I don't file a response, will I get to tell my side of the story during the hearing?

Most likely yes BUT do not take that chance.

3. If I do have to file a response, does anybody have any idea what form I need to use? There is no form number on the motion anywhere, so I can't look it up that way.

First create the document, addressing each of Dad's points in the motion. Add any emails, exhibits that provides "proof". Check into the ratings of your schools vs what Dad is suggesting and provide a rationale as to why you think your dd should not be moved from her current school. Get going on that and file it at least a few days before the hearing so that the judge can have a chance to read it.

 

[stealth2]

Get going on that and file it at least a few days before the hearing so that the judge can have a chance to read it.

There is likely a set time period during which you need to file your response - I'd make sure you fall within it.

 

[profmum]

There is likely a set time period during which you need to file your response - I'd make sure you fall within it.

True, since this appears to be an emergency hearing, file a response ASAP!

 

[Rowan602]

thank you!

thank you all for your advice. I've found the template that I need and have started my response. I have another question, though, that I'm hoping someone can help me with.

Can I respond in this manner :
1. "in item number three in the Verified Emergency Motion Regarding School Enrollment for 2008-2009 School year, it is stated that "all these school are located a reasonable distance between the residences of the parents." With the exception of ______ Elementary, all of the schools are at least 16 miles from Mother/ Respondent's home and less than 3 miles from Petitioner/Father's home.

Is it acceptable to file a response in that manner? There is a lot of incorrect information in his motion, and I need to put the correct information in mine, but I'd like to reference his motion so that the judge knows what I'm referring to when I write this stuff. Thanks again to those that have given advice already, and thanks in advance for any advice on this question!

Rowan

 

[OhReally?]

True, since this appears to be an emergency hearing, file a response ASAP!

Hang on here.

"Verified Emergency Motion....". What the hell is that? VERIFIED? By whom? The only thing "verified" is the person who wrote that motion is clueless. LOL

I don't see this as a motion for an exparte hearing. If it was an exparte, then the parent would file just that and wait at the courthouse until it could be heard. Then the other parent would have received an order IF the Judge found just cause for an order, not necessarily the motion. Not to mention, it should be worded for a motion for an exparte/emergency HEARING, IMO.

I agree -- the OP should response a little quicker (although the time to respond is 28 days, plus 3 days for service) and also respond by asking the court to dismiss the moving party's motion AND asking the court to hold that party solely responsible for all costs associated with this motion.

 

[OhReally?]

thank you all for your advice. I've found the template that I need and have started my response. I have another question, though, that I'm hoping someone can help me with.

Can I respond in this manner :
1. "in item number three in the Verified Emergency Motion Regarding School Enrollment for 2008-2009 School year, it is stated that "all these school are located a reasonable distance between the residences of the parents." With the exception of ______ Elementary, all of the schools are at least 16 miles from Mother/ Respondent's home and less than 3 miles from Petitioner/Father's home.

Is it acceptable to file a response in that manner?

Yes. What you want to do is to state in your response what the moving party claimed verbatim and what page it is found on, then respond to that individually. If you can provide data with references or maps (use Google Maps, for example), etc, note that as well as attachments, that's even better because you're providing more than you "just saying it".

Also, if the other parent is blatantly lying, don't be afraid to use words like "misrepresentation of the truth", "falsely"/"falsify", "dishonest" and the such -- but do NOT come out and call her a liar. Language like I gave as an example says the same thing, pretty much, but with some grace.

When you are done, do NOT be afraid to motion the court to have this motion filed by your ex dismissed and to have all costs associated with this motion to be taxed to the moving party (and if you can cite state statute to support it, even better).

 

[Humusluvr]

My daughter's father and I have 50/50 physical custody and decision making. In our parenting plan, written up by a CFI, it is stated that in March of this year we were to begin looking for a school that was located and "equitable distance" between our residences. I live on the far south side of town, he lives on the far north side of town. Our daughter currently attends the school that is located a block away from my house.

In mid-March, I received an email from him stating that he expected us to enroll her in an "A-rated" school, and provided a list of schools with an "A-rating." I looked up information on the schools on the list, and 95% of them were located either less than 2 miles away from his residence or more than 20 miles away from both of our residences. only 1 school fit the "equitable distance" criteria as laid out in our parenting plan.

What he expects you to do? The order says "equitable distance." Nothing else. Sure, we'd all love to send our kiddos to the best A rated school, but in this case - find a good school (or if her current school is good) and keep her there as long as it is equitable distance. He doesn't get to pick the school, and he's trying to set up the situation so its easy for him/hard for you.

 

[Rowan602]

he's a sneaky little sucker

Our parenting plan said that we were supposed to start looking at schools in March. on March 17th, he emailed me a list of schools that he considered acceptable. Upon researching those schools, I found that most of them were either 16 or more miles away from me(that's 64 miles a day for me, 3 gallons of gas) or more than 20 miles away from both of us. Anyhow, I emailed him back and told him that we mey need to start looking at B rated schools, and he ignored that email.

At the beginning of April he said he wanted to wait until the restraining order that I had against him was dropped, and go look at schools together. Because he said that, I didn't look at any of the schools. He went and looked at three schools (two near him, one in the middle) and then on may 12, after the RO was dropped, told me that he'd already been to the schools and was awaiting feedback from me, although he had already put our daughter on the list at the two schools that weren't in the boundary for his house.

In the motion, his attorney states that I refused to cooperate and go look at schools, when in reality I was waiting for the RO to be dropped, as he had indicated he wanted to look at schools together at that point.

Basically, he did all this to try and get her into the school that is down the block from him. My daughter currently attends school down the street from me. she's been there for two years, and is doing extremely well there. Part of my argument is that he lied to get me to put off looking at the schools, and the other part is that she is doing well at her school, she has friends there, and she's used to the rules, etc. Does anybody have any ideas about anything else that I should point out that might help my case?

Thanks again, guys, for all the advice, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!

 

[Humusluvr]

My daughter currently attends school down the street from me. she's been there for two years, and is doing extremely well there. Part of my argument is that he lied to get me to put off looking at the schools, and the other part is that she is doing well at her school, she has friends there, and she's used to the rules, etc. Does anybody have any ideas about anything else that I should point out that might help my case?

Thanks again, guys, for all the advice, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!

You both seem to want whats best for YOURSELVES, not your daughter, and not what the court order states. Look for a school that is "equitable distance." Not A list by him or B list by you or C list on the International Space Station. this is not about helping a case here - its about following the rules that are already written. Y'all are trying to nit-pick each other to death with RO's and A-lists. Cut that junk out and try to co-parent here.

 

[Rowan602]

I did pick a school between

as directed in the parenting plan. however, there is an application process, and no guarantee that she'll get into that school. He has refused any of the other schools in between because they do not have an "excellent" or "A" Rating. At this point, we have turned in an application for the "A" rated central school, but it is too late to turn in apps for the other schools.

I do want what is best for my daughter. Since it is unlikely that she is going to get into the school where we put in the application, I don't think it's fair to uproot her from a school where she knows the routine, knows the rules, has friends, and is comfortable with the teachers and staff.

As far as the RO goes I was dropping it, not getting one. At the time that I got it, It was necessary, however, I decided to drop it because it was causing tension and was making it difficult to coparent effectively.

I have had my daughter see the school psychologist, who has told me that my daughter does not want to change schools, that she likes it at her current school. The psychologist spends time with her every week, and my daughter has consistenly said that she wants to stay at her current school. Her father has also lied to her. He told her that she was going to go to a new school because the principal got fired?!?!

We have tried to coparent, however, he is insisting that she go to the school by him, and I don't feel that is in her best interest. This is not something that he and I are going to agree on. I'm just trying to gather my thoughts and arguments so that I don't tank it in the hearing.

 

[Humusluvr]

as directed in the parenting plan. however, there is an application process, and no guarantee that she'll get into that school. He has refused any of the other schools in between because they do not have an "excellent" or "A" Rating. At this point, we have turned in an application for the "A" rated central school, but it is too late to turn in apps for the other schools.

I do want what is best for my daughter. Since it is unlikely that she is going to get into the school where we put in the application, I don't think it's fair to uproot her from a school where she knows the routine, knows the rules, has friends, and is comfortable with the teachers and staff.

As far as the RO goes I was dropping it, not getting one. At the time that I got it, It was necessary, however, I decided to drop it because it was causing tension and was making it difficult to coparent effectively.

I have had my daughter see the school psychologist, who has told me that my daughter does not want to change schools, that she likes it at her current school. The psychologist spends time with her every week, and my daughter has consistenly said that she wants to stay at her current school. Her father has also lied to her. He told her that she was going to go to a new school because the principal got fired?!?!

We have tried to coparent, however, he is insisting that she go to the school by him, and I don't feel that is in her best interest. This is not something that he and I are going to agree on. I'm just trying to gather my thoughts and arguments so that I don't tank it in the hearing.

You are right, you are probably NOT going to agree.

that's why you have a court order.

It says, "EQUITABLE DISTANCE."

Over and over you state how you "feel." and what you "believe" what you need to do is follow the court order. He doesn't get to make the rules. You don't get to make the rules. Doesn't matter how you guys feel because feelings are not legalities. Follow your court order, then you will both be doing the right thing.

Do you understand?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? Colorado, El Paso County

background:

My daughter's father and I have 50/50 physical custody and decision making. In our parenting plan, written up by a CFI, it is stated that in March of this year we were to begin looking for a school that was located and "equitable distance" between our residences. I live on the far south side of town, he lives on the far north side of town. Our daughter currently attends the school that is located a block away from my house.

In mid-March, I received an email from him stating that he expected us to enroll her in an "A-rated" school, and provided a list of schools with an "A-rating." I looked up information on the schools on the list, and 95% of them were located either less than 2 miles away from his residence or more than 20 miles away from both of our residences. only 1 school fit the "equitable distance" criteria as laid out in our parenting plan.

I had a restraining order against him which I chose to drop because it was no longer needed and because it made effective coparenting extremely difficult. We mostly communicate through email, but in one phone conversation he indicated that he would like to go look at schools together when the restraining order was dropped. That was the last I heard of it, despite several emails sent to him during the month of April, until May 12, when he sent me an email stating that he had visited the schools under consideration back in mid-April and was awaiting feedback from me. I immediately visited the schools that he considered "acceptable" and emailed him with my thoughts about each of them.

Last week, I received a "Verified Emergency Motion Regarding School Enrollment for 2008-2009 School year." There are a lot of inconsistencies and outright lies in this document. He is trying to get the judge to move her to the school that is down the block from his house, even though she has been in her current school for two years now and is excelling there. I received notice that there is a hearing set for may 29th.

My questions are these:
1. Do I need to file a response to the verified motion?
2. If I don't file a response, will I get to tell my side of the story during the hearing?
3. If I do have to file a response, does anybody have any idea what form I need to use? There is no form number on the motion anywhere, so I can't look it up that way.

Thanks in advance for any advice or ideas anybody has. I'm sorry this was so long. If you need any more info, please let me know!

RowanWhat is the name of your state?

Humusluvr is quite correct: What matters is the court order. It states exactly what you and Dad were to do, and gave a date to do it.

You were "waiting for the RO to be dropped," eh? Well, so was he. And IF you two were following the CO, and IF you didn't *report* him as violating the RO had the two of you gone looking at schools, WHAT would be the huuuuge problem of going in March?

The problem? Is you. You are the one who has refused to follow the CO. You sure knew how to follow the RO, but couldn't bend to the NEW court order?

The first thing you did upon receiving Dad's invite to go school shopping was to check how far the schools were from YOUR house? That shows that you had/have no intention of following the new CO.

The new CO was clearly designed to set up a 50/50 split of daughter's time, with consideration given for driving for each parent. That's why it was to be equidistant.

But you have tried to make it so that daughter goes to school ONLY in YOUR area.

IF the CO was taking daughter's wishes into account, it wouldn't ORDER a CHANGE of schools, now would it? The decision to change was made IN the new CO.

I don't see this boding well for you.

 

[Rowan602]

ummmm

Humusluvr,

I do understand what you're saying, and I did try to follow the court order. I looked at the accountability reports for every school on the list he sent me and for several B-rated schools that were not on his list but that were equidistant between us.

Silverplum,

One of the things that I love about this site is that the senior members don't pull any punches. You and humusluvr are right, it doesn't matter how I feel or what I believe.

I would have been perfectly fine with going "school shopping" in march and not reporting anything about the RO, but he refused to do that. He refused to do anything that violated the RO until it was officialy dropped by the court.

No, the first thing I did was not check how far the schools were from my house, I checked how far they were from BOTH houses, to determine if they fit the equitable distance criteria as laid out in the court order. Only one school on his list did, and he didn't bother to acknowledge the email I sent him with other schools that were rated lower but fit the equitable distance criteria.

I have an email that I sent him in early April asking about when we were going to look at schools. I don't know if that will help me or not. I wasn't intending to try and keep her in school in my area, I want to follow the court order and put her in a school that is an equal distance from both of our houses. However, it is looking more and more unlikely that she will get into the only school that he would accept that is an equal distance from both of our houses. That's why his lawyer filed this motion. I'm just trying to file a response so that I can make sure that I'll be heard in court.

Thank you, humusluvr and silverplum, for your thoughts.