Do I need to file a response to this?

[LdiJ]

Humusluvr is quite correct: What matters is the court order. It states exactly what you and Dad were to do, and gave a date to do it.

You were "waiting for the RO to be dropped," eh? Well, so was he. And IF you two were following the CO, and IF you didn't *report* him as violating the RO had the two of you gone looking at schools, WHAT would be the huuuuge problem of going in March?

Dad was the one to suggest that they wait until after the restraining order was dropped to go "school shopping".

The problem? Is you. You are the one who has refused to follow the CO. You sure knew how to follow the RO, but couldn't bend to the NEW court order?

same as above

The first thing you did upon receiving Dad's invite to go school shopping was to check how far the schools were from YOUR house? That shows that you had/have no intention of following the new CO.

Huh, I don't get this one at all. If you received a list of schools that someone was proposing that your child attend, wouldn't you look them up on the net to see where they were located and to get information about them? That seems like the totally normal thing to do.

The new CO was clearly designed to set up a 50/50 split of daughter's time, with consideration given for driving for each parent. That's why it was to be equidistant.

But you have tried to make it so that daughter goes to school ONLY in YOUR area.

IF the CO was taking daughter's wishes into account, it wouldn't ORDER a CHANGE of schools, now would it? The decision to change was made IN the new CO.

I don't see this boding well for you.

Again, I don't see where you are coming from here. In general, if a child is doing well at a school, and is happy there, the general consensus is that the child should not have to change schools.

In any case, most of the schools that dad proposed were either close to him, or close to neither of them. That doesn't exactly make dad as someone trying to follow the court order.

 

[Silverplum]

Ld, you NEVER know where I'm "coming from." As I've said before, when you have experience in a CO courtroom, give me a call.

Okay, so it was Dad who was askeered of violating the RO. And golly, Mom-centrists, what a horror, that DAD would follow the RO. Guess he doesn't trust Mom any more than she trusts him. What a joy.

While the Momcentrists have their field day with the RO portion, let us remember that Humusluvr and I are STILL correct on the MAIN issue:

The Court Order states that the child will go to a NEW school, EQUIDISTANT, to facilitate 50/50. All this whining about how the child's school "psych" (yeah, right, from where is his degree? ElPaso CC?) thinks the D should stay in the OLD school, and the D wants to stay in the OLD school.

Guess what? D is going to a NEW school. 50/50 is ordered. Get crackin'.

 

[Humusluvr]

Okay, so it was Dad who was askeered of violating the RO. And golly, Mom-centrists, what a horror, that DAD would follow the RO. Guess he doesn't trust Mom any more than she trusts him. What a joy.

Seriously, can you blame dad? Mom got a restraining order against him, and now she's saying "Let's go (school) shopping!!!" and dad shows up and there's the pokey. what a bummer. I'm giving dad his props here for following the rules.

And, if you COACH the daughter enough, I'm SURE she'll tell the school psych that she wants to stay in her current school.

 

[Rowan602]

humuhluvr

First of all, I have NEVER called "the pokey" for restraining order violations, although there have been several. I got the restraining order when my daughter was an infant, and there was a good reason for it. that reason no longer stands, therefore I asked to have the restraining order dropped. If you wanna give props to a man that held his infant daughter on his hip while hitting me becuase he knew I wouldn't defend myself while he was holding her, that's your business.

Second of all, I haven't coached my daughter about anything. I've barely even brought up the fact that she'll be changing schools. Her father has told her plenty of times, but I have only told her that she'll most likely be going to a different school, and left it at that. I haven't told her anything else. I asked the school psychologist to talk to her to help her get used to the idea of a new school and to help her with the transition.

You can bash me all you want, but I really am just trying to do what is best for my daughter. The whole reason her father asked for this hearing is to have her moved to the school by him. The Court order states "a school that is an equitable distance from the homes of parents or any school that the parents agree upon." since she's probably not going to get into the school that's an equitable distance, he and I both have to consider the other options. As far as he's concerned, the only option is to move her tot he school by him. I'm still exploring other options, and I'll continue to explore other option up to the court date, so I have different things to offer up to the judge as ideas for my daughter's schooling.

 

[CJane]

I agree -- the OP should response a little quicker (although the time to respond is 28 days, plus 3 days for service)

Are you sure that's true in OP's state for this type of motion? I know it's not a given in ALL states.

 

[Silverplum]

I asked the school psychologist to talk to her to help her get used to the idea of a new school and to help her with the transition.

Fire him. He sucks at the job you gave him.

You can bash me all you want,

Court prep.
For free.
If you think we're *bashing,* get ready for what the Judge is gonna DO to you. This is nothing to compare, honey. No-thing.

but I really am just trying to do what is best for my daughter. The whole reason her father asked for this hearing is to have her moved to the school by him. The Court order states "a school that is an equitable distance from the homes of parents or any school that the parents agree upon." since she's probably not going to get into the school that's an equitable distance, he and I both have to consider the other options. As far as he's concerned, the only option is to move her tot he school by him. I'm still exploring other options, and I'll continue to explore other option up to the court date, so I have different things to offer up to the judge as ideas for my daughter's schooling.

What you SHOULD "offer up to the judge" is OBEDIENCE.
Too late for impressive full obedience.
Keep working TOWARD the 50/50. Not against it. Or you WILL lose.

 

[wileybunch]

I asked the school psychologist to talk to her to help her get used to the idea of a new school and to help her with the transition.

But, you are reporting how the psychologist said she doesn't want to change schools and from what you've posted here you very much give the impression you don't think it's "fair" to uproot DD where she's "doing well" and "has friends" -- things that are neither here nor there because you have been ORDERED to get a new school that's equidistant to share custody. I agree that this doesn't bode well for you WRT to keeping shared custody.

ETA: I should say that from what you've said, Dad's put limitations on schools that are "equidistant" by putting a requirement that the school be A rated only which is NOT in your order, right? So if DD doesn't get into the one equidistant A rated school and has to stay at her current school near you, Dad's had a major hand in that default situation.

 

[Rowan602]

oi

I AM working toward the 50/50. I'm still looking into schools that fit the "equitable distance" criteria that might accept her. I've had no luck so far. He and his attorney have chosen to focus on the "or any other school on which the parents agree" portion of the CO, and they're lying and saying that I agreed to enroll her at the school of his choice, when in fact I only said that I would check it out. He doesn't want her to go the the one school that fits the equitable distance criteria, so he's changed tactics.

 

[escape2paradise]

Seriously, can you blame dad? Mom got a restraining order against him, and now she's saying "Let's go (school) shopping!!!" and dad shows up and there's the pokey. what a bummer. I'm giving dad his props here for following the rules.

And, if you COACH the daughter enough, I'm SURE she'll tell the school psych that she wants to stay in her current school.

I don't think she would need to "coach" the child to want to stay in the school she is currently enrolled in. Most kids aren't too excited about having to leave established friendships and other ties behind to start all over elsewhere. This is not to say that kids aren't resilient and I'm sure her daughter will adapt. I don't think the order to change school's was "in the child's best interest". Sounds like this child has already had to make big changes in her life the last couple of years, to make her have to make yet another change is not good.

 

[Rowan602]

oi again

I've said repeatedly that her name is on the list for the ONLY school that he will accept that fits the equitable distance criteria. It is looking more and more unlikely that this school will accept her. In the event that this school does not accept her, it must be determined whether she will continue at the school she is in now or go to the school that is by my ex's house. That is the sole purpose of this hearing. It is no longer a matter of working toward 50/50. My ex is the one who filed for this hearing, not me. She WILL be changing schools for the 2009-2010 school year. She WILL be placed in a school that is Equidistant between our houses. However, that is not going to happen this year, so it must be determined what will happen, thus there must be a decision made between the two schools. This is why I want her to stay in the school that she's alreay in. If she goes to the school by him, she will be uprooted to go to that school, then uprooted again to go to a new school for the 2009-2010 school year. That would be hard on any child. I know children all over the country do it all the time, but why do it if it's not necessary.

wileybunch,

Yes, her father is insisting on A rated schools, and ther is only one that fits that, that also fits the distance criteria. So while some people may think that I am completely to blame here, he has done his best to make this as difficult as possible.

 

[wileybunch]

I don't think she would need to "coach" the child to want to stay in the school she is currently enrolled in. Most kids aren't too excited about having to leave established friendships and other ties behind to start all over elsewhere. This is not to say that kids aren't resilient and I'm sure her daughter will adapt. I don't think the order to change school's was "in the child's best interest". Sounds like this child has already had to make big changes in her life the last couple of years, to make her have to make yet another change is not good.

Changing schools itself wasn't what was in the child's best interests -- shared physical custody 50/50 was. That entails a one-time move to a new school in order to be able to share physical custody since child is currently enrolled near Mom. I agree that I doubt any kid happy w/where they are currently would WANT to change schools so she didn't have to be coached on that.

 

[Humusluvr]

I've said repeatedly that her name is on the list for the ONLY school that he will accept that fits the equitable distance criteria. It is looking more and more unlikely that this school will accept her. In the event that this school does not accept her, it must be determined whether she will continue at the school she is in now or go to the school that is by my ex's house. That is the sole purpose of this hearing. It is no longer a matter of working toward 50/50. My ex is the one who filed for this hearing, not me. She WILL be changing schools for the 2009-2010 school year. She WILL be placed in a school that is Equidistant between our houses. However, that is not going to happen this year, so it must be determined what will happen, thus there must be a decision made between the two schools. This is why I want her to stay in the school that she's alreay in. If she goes to the school by him, she will be uprooted to go to that school, then uprooted again to go to a new school for the 2009-2010 school year. That would be hard on any child. I know children all over the country do it all the time, but why do it if it's not necessary.

wileybunch,

Yes, her father is insisting on A rated schools, and ther is only one that fits that, that also fits the distance criteria. So while some people may think that I am completely to blame here, he has done his best to make this as difficult as possible.

Why do you keep saying "schools that will accept her?" Are you trying to put her in a special type of school, does she have an educational reason to attend a special school, or what kind of school are you looking at? Are we talking public or private? What are the two of you looking to accomplish here? How old is the child again?

I think you are both looking to make a mountain out of a molehill for your own personal control issues. You are both making a BFD to make things difficult. Really, why is it so hard to get out your ruler and your map, draw a little line from house to house, and pick a school half way? and we aren't talking HUNDREDS of miles here, we're talking like 20 miles from his house to yours, right?

 

[Rowan602]

application proccess

Humusluvr,

Colorado has what's called a school of choice rule. Basically, If a child's parent lives in a school district, they can choose any school in that district for their child to attend, provided they are able to provide transportation for their child. However, in order to put your child in a school that is in your school district but is not considered to be the school for your address, you must fill out an application for your child to attend that school. There is usually a waiting list. That what I'm mean when I'm saying that she won't be accepted. She's too far down on the waiting list to get ito that school at the start of the school year, although she may be accepted mid-year, I'm not sure how that part works. And she's almost 7 years old, will be going into second grade in the fall.

I would love to just pull out a map and a ruler and find the midpoint between our house and pick a school in that area. However, as I've aid, my ex is insisting on A-rated schools and will not even respond to suggestions about schools that are not A-rated. I did not want this to go to court, and I tried tonegotiate with him, but he's determined to have her put in the school near him.

 

[wileybunch]

I think you are both looking to make a mountain out of a molehill for your own personal control issues. You are both making a BFD to make things difficult. Really, why is it so hard to get out your ruler and your map, draw a little line from house to house, and pick a school half way? and we aren't talking HUNDREDS of miles here, we're talking like 20 miles from his house to yours, right?

It sounds like OP's tried to, but Dad is restricting schools he'll even consider to those that have the A rating and only offered 1 that's equidistant and 3 that are very close to his home and much farther from Mom's home.

How much agreement is needed to apply to all possible equidistant schools and let the chips fall where they may and see where she's accepted?

My predictions:

If Dad's holding out for only the schools on his list, insisting on only "A" rated schools with 3 of the 4 being by his house (so not meeting the rqmt of being equidistant) and DD doesn't get accepted into the 1 equidistant one, DD will be staying in her current school for another year.

If Dad can prove Mom dragged her feet to increase the chance DD would get accepted NOWHERE and have to stay in her current school and DD is accepted into one near Dad's home, she'll be going there.

 

[wileybunch]

I would love to just pull out a map and a ruler and find the midpoint between our house and pick a school in that area. However, as I've aid, my ex is insisting on A-rated schools and will not even respond to suggestions about schools that are not A-rated. I did not want this to go to court, and I tried tonegotiate with him, but he's determined to have her put in the school near him.

Did you already apply to as many equidistant schools as there are?