Does my ex have a case about me moving out of state???

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? PA

My husband and I separated about 2 years ago, and I took our son and moved to Philadelphia with my parents, which is an hour from where my ex lives in Montgomery County, PA. He signed a custody order giving me physical custody of our son, with him seeing him every other weekend. I have since met a man who lives in Delaware, and we have been together for a year and a half. We now are ready to move in together, and that means me moving to DE because he has a good stable job in DE and owns a house, whereas I live with my parents and work from my home, so my job is portable. I am also a student right now and got accepted to a school in DE which would allow me to pursue nursing. Where I am moving to in DE is 1 hour from where my ex lives, just as where I live now is 1 hour away. So nothing at all would change as far as the amount of time my ex sees our son or the distance he has to travel. Only thing different would be our address. However, my ex is very spiteful and jealous, and he tells me that since I am moving out of state he can contest the move and take me to court. I know that it's only because he is jealous I'm moving in with another man. There is no other reason for him to try to stop me, since as I said, it will not change our vistitation arrangements. So my question is, does he actually have a case? Would a judge actually not allow me to move? I've been so worried about this since he keeps threatening to take me to court, and I am so scared to think that I actually may not be allowed to go. I would really appreciate any feedback.

Thanks!

He can certainly take the case to court, however since the distance would be exactly the same as it is now, and since the move would have no effect on the current arrangements, its unlikely that he would have any real chance of prevailing.

UNLESS...you get a judge that has a problem with you living with your boyfriend. Which is possible. If you are still technically married to your husband, then it would be a really BAD idea to move in with your boyfriend.

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

She's NOT married, guys! She's divorced!

If you are working and your ex isn't even paying you the full amount that he SHOULD be paying you according to the sate guidelines, then by all means, YOU have the right to the exemption. Keep it.

No one here can predict what will happen. My *personal* advice, not legal... is to move on with your life. Focus on your child and your happiness. Give whatever notice of your intent to move per your Order and let your Ex follow through with his threats if he wants.

You can't live your life worrying to death what the ex is going to do. He can threaten to take you to court for this or that for the rest of your LIVES. Just do whats right by your child and you will be fine.

And, just going on the things you've said, I would say MOVE. Marry your significant other, have a great life, and let your ex wallow in whatever it is he's holding onto. If he wants to take this to court, let him. Once it's heard, you'll do what the judge says, whatever that may be, and then move on. Are you saying that you would consider NOT moving, just on the mere idea that your EX may take you to court? Let him! What if he takes you to court and you WIN? You'll never know if you don't just let your ex follow through. And then what if you just stay where you are, pass on your relationship, and stay under the control of your ex? That's not smart.

Good luck!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? PA

My husband and I separated about 2 years ago, and I took our son and moved to Philadelphia with my parents, which is an hour from where my ex lives in Montgomery County, PA. He signed a custody order giving me physical custody of our son, with him seeing him every other weekend. I have since met a man who lives in Delaware, and we have been together for a year and a half. We now are ready to move in together, and that means me moving to DE because he has a good stable job in DE and owns a house, whereas I live with my parents and work from my home, so my job is portable. I am also a student right now and got accepted to a school in DE which would allow me to pursue nursing. Where I am moving to in DE is 1 hour from where my ex lives, just as where I live now is 1 hour away. So nothing at all would change as far as the amount of time my ex sees our son or the distance he has to travel. Only thing different would be our address. However, my ex is very spiteful and jealous, and he tells me that since I am moving out of state he can contest the move and take me to court. I know that it's only because he is jealous I'm moving in with another man. There is no other reason for him to try to stop me, since as I said, it will not change our vistitation arrangements. So my question is, does he actually have a case? Would a judge actually not allow me to move? I've been so worried about this since he keeps threatening to take me to court, and I am so scared to think that I actually may not be allowed to go. I would really appreciate any feedback.

Thanks!

YOu are removing the child from the jurisdiction of the court permanently and that is something that matters. Your ex has EVERY right to take you back to court and prevent you from removing the CHILD from the state and the court's jurisdiction. Why can't your fiance move into PA and meet you in a place 30 minutes from where you are now which would remain in the court's jurisdiction and lessen the distance.

 

[Ohiogal]

Wow...tough crowd. Maybe I wasn't clear enough about my situation.

#1. I'm not married anymore. I am legally divorced. He signed the custody agreement giving me primary custody without a fight.


YOu referred to the man as your HUSBAND which means married!


#2. I did move to Philadelphia after separating because I had nowhere else to go at the time except living with my parents temporarily. Philly is 1 hour away from where my ex lives, and that is where I was living when the custody arrangement was made. I drop him off on Fridays, he brings him back on Sundays, as stated in the agreement.


Its still in PA however. DE is NOT PA!

#3. About claiming him, we made a child support settlement out of court which is $250 less than the court ordered amount would be per month. Therefore, I do think it's fair that I get to claim him. The IRS does state that the parent with primary custody has the right to claim the child on taxes.


So? You can still be ordered to allow him to claim your son every other year. He has every right to request and the COURT can make you allow it. If you don't you can be found guilty of contempt which could include time in jail.

#4. I would have no problem giving him more time with our son. He's never asked for it. I've even offered it and he turned it down.

SO? Doesn't matter. He can still object to the move and you will still NEED to prove that it is in the child's best interest to move.
#5. I most certainly will have time for my child while in school. He is 3 and I am home with him all day. Fow now, school will be 2 nights a week. Then I work from home as a medical transcriptionist after he goes to bed.
#6. I am free to marry and yes we are talking about marriage. Just not officially engaged yet.

And none of that means anything. You aren't married so you are moving to be in a temporary relationship where there is no stability guaranteed.
#7. I don't know how to answer this...I agree with you. My boyfriend has never given my ex any problems and has never been anything but wonderful to my son.
#8. I believe this move will benefit my son. I am always thinking about the welfare of my child.

What you believe doesn't matter. You have to prove it to the court that it will benefit your chlid. And moving in with your boyfriend benefits you more than your son.

I guess the point I'm trying to get across is that I really am not trying to be vindictive here. I am not trying to change anything about my son's relationship with his father. I really do want him to see his father as much as possible, and the drive to where I live with my parents and where I will live in DE is equivalent from him, as I've driven both many times. I don't want anything to change. All I want to do is move on with my life, and I guess I just wanted to see if he could stop me out of spite.

Then agree to let your ex claim your son every other year.

 

[LdiJ]

I think some of the answers here are a bit out in left field.

The issue of jursidiction is easily handled. As long as dad remains in PA, PA is going to have jurisdiction. Delaware will honor that unless PA releases jurisdiction. That is what the UCCJEA is for.

Dad is paying a reduced child support amount so its quite logical for mom to have the tax exemption every year. Dad's reduced child support (3k per year) is far greater than anything he could possibly get as far as an exemption for the child is concerned....

Dad would be stupid to fight over the tax exemption and possibly end up spending 6k more in child support every two years to get a maximum of 1.8k in tax exemptions in the same period.....lets be real here folks.

THE DISTANCE IS ONE HOUR....THE SAME DISTANCE THAT EXISTS NOW. The odds of a judge prohibiting the move are NOT strong. The move changes nothing for dad.

Jeeze I know this board is anti move aways....but sometimes, some of the posters here go waaaay overboard.

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

I think some of the answers here are a bit out in left field.

The issue of jursidiction is easily handled. As long as dad remains in PA, PA is going to have jurisdiction. Delaware will honor that unless PA releases jurisdiction. That is what the UCCJEA is for.

Dad is paying a reduced child support amount so its quite logical for mom to have the tax exemption every year. Dad's reduced child support (3k per year) is far greater than anything he could possibly get as far as an exemption for the child is concerned....

Dad would be stupid to fight over the tax exemption and possibly end up spending 6k more in child support every two years to get a maximum of 1.8k in tax exemptions in the same period.....lets be real here folks.

THE DISTANCE IS ONE HOUR....THE SAME DISTANCE THAT EXISTS NOW. The odds of a judge prohibiting the move are NOT strong. The move changes nothing for dad.

Jeeze I know this board is anti move aways....but sometimes, some of the posters here go waaaay overboard.

THANK YOU! I agree with ALL the points above.

 

[philliesgirl53]

I think some of the answers here are a bit out in left field.

The issue of jursidiction is easily handled. As long as dad remains in PA, PA is going to have jurisdiction. Delaware will honor that unless PA releases jurisdiction. That is what the UCCJEA is for.

Dad is paying a reduced child support amount so its quite logical for mom to have the tax exemption every year. Dad's reduced child support (3k per year) is far greater than anything he could possibly get as far as an exemption for the child is concerned....

Dad would be stupid to fight over the tax exemption and possibly end up spending 6k more in child support every two years to get a maximum of 1.8k in tax exemptions in the same period.....lets be real here folks.

THE DISTANCE IS ONE HOUR....THE SAME DISTANCE THAT EXISTS NOW. The odds of a judge prohibiting the move are NOT strong. The move changes nothing for dad.

Jeeze I know this board is anti move aways....but sometimes, some of the posters here go waaaay overboard.

Thank you so much. I really am not trying to change anything or keep his son from him. I guess what bothers me is that he is taking the fact that I want to move out of state and trying to use it to get what he wants (the tax exemption). But thanks for everyone's advice...I am going to go forward with my plans, if he takes me to court, I'll do what I have to do, but I do have more confidence now that I will be able to win.

Thank you

 

[firstof8]

Good for you for moving on with your life and being positive about it! And try (as hard as I know it must be) to be nice, or at least neutral, with your ex when explaining things. Try to point out what you have here (that it's not any longer away, etc.) Maybe it will help.

As for moving in--just from my own experience, I would have a marriage date set for SOON. Even if you go to the justice of the peace & then have the kind of wedding you want later, or even a party to celebrate your union. Because my sister got burned this way, the courts don't look kindly on women who live with men they aren't married to. (I HOPE this is because it might end up badly for the children.) She ended up keeping custody but it was a fight.

 

[stealth2]

I would have a marriage date set for SOON.

Yeah, good plan. Marry someone ASAP just because. And then look forward to another divorce in a few years. Brilliant.

 

[GrowUp!]

Won't living in a better school district benefit my son? Philadelphia has one of the worst school districts...

I find this very interesting -- as in it's interesting how many of these threads are created every week asking this question.

So, NOW the school district is "one of the worst", etc?! This wasn't an issue when you two were together? Since the thinking is always "if the parents remained married", would you two still be there IF you remained married?

Granted this is irrelevant in court, but it just got me thinking when I saw this how this is allegedly NOW an issue when it wasn't before.

 

[stealth2]

pssst - Grow Up... if you'd read her posts, you'd see that she moved from where they originally lived to where her parents live. So no, it WASN'T an issue when they were married.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Oh how the story changes as time goes by, first it's her husband and they are separated and she moved away and now that she has a boyfriend to take care of her the schools are bad where she moved and she is instead divorced.

 

[philliesgirl53]

Oh how the story changes as time goes by, first it's her husband and they are separated and she moved away and now that she has a boyfriend to take care of her the schools are bad where she moved and she is instead divorced.

I've been legally divorced since January...I'm sorry I worded things the wrong way in my original post. We separated 2 years ago but the divorce wasn't final until this past January. Where my ex-husband and I lived, the school district was great. Where I moved to Philly, not so great. I never once said it was one of the worst, but the one in DE is better, after doing research on them. Hope that cleared up any confusion.

 

[stealth2]

Where my ex-husband and I lived, the school district was great.

Then perhaps the most logical option would be to move back to that area, and have b/f relocate. THAT would be the best situation for the kid.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I've been legally divorced since January...I'm sorry I worded things the wrong way in my original post. We separated 2 years ago but the divorce wasn't final until this past January. Where my ex-husband and I lived, the school district was great. Where I moved to Philly, not so great. I never once said it was one of the worst, but the one in DE is better, after doing research on them. Hope that cleared up any confusion.

The facts make all the difference in the advice we are able to give. WHen you give a set of facts meant to yield your desired response, the only person you fool is yourself. While we can't predict how a court will rule although there are some members here who will do that, we can advise you of what arguments you might face/ In your case, even though you are divorced and free to marry, moving out of the jurisdiction to move in with a boyfriend is something likely to be contested and even though the sidtance is similar it opens up a Pandora's box. Your ex has a lot of good arguments. You moved your child away from him, to a worse school district while he provides half the transportation and allowed you to have primary custody so you could stay with your parents, who are at least related, now you want to replace him with another may who doesn't want to marry you yet and you won't spend as much time with your child pursuing a nursing career. Why should he agree to that? It is not in your child's best interest to move to DE under these circumstances even if you are divorced.